Why does The Onion even exist still?

According to Urban Dictionary, Golden Dome means getting head at Notre Dame and/or Saint Mary’s

Not some sort of holy piss shield?

While the space satellite based interception stuff is at this point is purely conceptual, doesn't exist yet (might never exist) and honestly almost fantasy, there is actual work being done on the "Golden Dome" project, the US military just received their first new radar for the "Golden Dome", and the US Navy has been testing out new missile interception strategies against ballistic missiles launched from Yemen towards Israel, including late boost phase and early midcourse/ascent phase intercepts using SM-3 Block IB missiles. Similar strategies could be applied to longer range missiles like IRBMs or even ICBMs using SM-3 Block II A and B interceptors. This is actually a very serious issue, the USA is looking to undermine the nuclear deterrent of it's adversaries, namely China and Russia. With Trump, you've got to ignore the circus (in this case satellite space based intercept star wars stuff) and follow the reality on the ground (new radars, US Navy using Yemen as a testing ground for new intercept strategies, new orders for more SM-3 missiles).

I did a post on it here

The only reason this dogshit country hasn't been bombed to hell is because we already have the two best air defense systems in the world, the Atlantic Ocean and Europe and (more importantly) the Pacific ocean.

For the Kelly comics.

it's golden dom and it's about waterplay actually

YOU CAN CALL IT PISS PLAY OR YOU CAN CALL IT WATERSPORTS BUT YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN-NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES CALL IT WATERPLAY!!!!!!
- wot if you like wear a lot of gold chains in a bath tub, but lowkey dom-like
- yeah waterplay would just be doing stuff in the ocean/pool/hottub/etc

Star Wars sequels suck

the rare non-sexual double entendre

Damn, when I was trying to

Trump getting domed this is not what I had in mind

I thought a Golden Dome was when you're going down on somebody and they piss all over your head.

so, I guess, well named?

Has America reached the Wunderwaffe stage of fascism? Are actual Death Rays going to be next?

America has worshipped wunderwaffe since at least after ww2

completely unnecessary and a waste of time and money...

but public health,education and well-being... that shit needs to go

completely unnecessary and a waste of time and money...
Not if your plan for keeping your hegemony is nuking China and coming out the other side much less damaged than them.
This shit is scary and dangerous because it's a clear attempt to undermine mutually assured destruction which is what keeps everyone from launching the nukes or otherwise escalating to incredibly devastating wars between major powers. Even if they achieved a system with 50% intercept rate that would mean China and Russia would need to ensure they retained at least twice as many nuclear weapons as America had interceptors and with that amount likely to be classified it would send both on nuke building sprees which would result in the US 1) building even more interceptors and feeding the mil-industrial complex more money and 2) building more nukes because now they have less and have to have at least as many. Eventually, sooner than later some genius maniac puts a bunch of nukes up in space as a doomsday weapon, they automatically launch and attack say China if they don't get the stand-down signal every 20 minutes. Eventually a technical glitch due to this being outsourced to Musk results in the weapons firing anyways because the signal not to fire was broken too long.
- I don't think modern missiles can be intercepted though, no?

I distinctly remember one of you assholes joking about this.

Mom says it's my turn for the lathe.

what a waste of money

It's better than iron dome because it's gold.

We're gonna have big beautiful satellites shooting ICBMs down with lasers. It's gonna be a war in the stars, folks, and we're gonna have our big beautiful space force doing it all.

It's missles that technology doesn't exist because the energy needed is too high for consistent output.

Step One: Call for a satellite based missile defense system named Golden Dome, because Gold is your favorite... thing.

Step Two: Do not elaborate further.

Step Three: ?????

Step Four: (Personally) Profit off of delusional insane cult members who couldn't pass an 8th grade math or writing exam, but totally believe this is a realistic goal that will certainly be fully implemented within 3 or 4 years.

...

Oh I forgot the setup.

Step Zero: First, piss off your main ally in NORAD, the existing organization that already does the thing you think you've just invented.

Step Zero and a Half: Cut basically all funding to all scientific research that you can, also harass and dismiss all legit scientific experts and academics of all kinds, and their alma maters, such that you cause a massive brain drain exodus of smart people who may actually be able to design that thing you want.

The funny part about step zero is that kkklanada is so kkkucked that they're still negotiating to be part of this
- Other funny part I didn't even realize till just now:
  Trump announces space based Goldeneye Satellite system...
  ... utterly cucks Elon and doesn't mention him nor SpaceX fucking at all.
  What a bunch of fucking clowns.

Binder he was reading from had golden rings and tabs

piss dome

no more half measures walter

I won't believe this came from Trump unless its an actual golden dome that is being proposed.

The Onion still does high quality satire.

It's designed in such a clever way that when it collapses it showers the people beneath it ...