2mo ago

Why exclude (edit: feminist) men?

This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you’re here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we’ve got you covered.

I feel like men can do all of those things, so I don't see why we are excluding them. Just because it's a women-centric community doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed. I think we should exclude people who are bigoted instead, or even people who just don't "get" women's issues.

Aside: I'm personally irritated that make-up is what's considered a woman-centric topic. That's kind of reductive -- not everyone is femme.

52 comments

The rest of Lemmy is free for men to participate in, this is the only community where men are not permitted to post. This helps create a safe space for women to chat without the direct influence and reactions of men.
I also personally agree with you and think men can have valuable contributions, including on women's topics. But I also respect the desire for a women's only space as well, especially in a context of a sexist society where women struggle to gain equal rights under the law and in society generally - and in a male-dominated social space like Lemmy.
I think we should exclude people who are bigoted instead, or even people who just don’t “get” women’s issues.
These are also the rules, bigots are not welcome here.
Aside: I’m personally irritated that make-up is what’s considered a woman-centric topic. That’s kind of reductive – not everyone is femme.
I get that, but the reality is that lots of women enjoy makeup (including me!) even if some don't.
Listing make-up and hair as examples of what women might be interested in is not meant to be reductive or essentialising, even if it is based on generalizations and what is perceived as a common interest among women.
We're not saying women must be interested in makeup to be women, or the only way to be women is to be high-femme. To the contrary, the founder of this community who wrote that example recently posted a meme critical of makeup as an industry that exploits women's insecurities.
Thank you for your post!! ❤️
- Thanks for understanding. Fair enough, it makes sense. But I guess I just don't like to see any online space exist where people are excluded just based on their demographic instead of their ability to contribute.
  
  That's a good instinct, and I share that. However, there are clearly times when allowing an oppressed minority to have their own safe spaces can make sense. Think of the reverse: forced integration of an oppressed group is not a good idea either, disallowing them to have their own spaces or to meet is itself a form of oppression.
  While I agree it can feel discriminatory and icky, this particular form of exclusion is meant to be protective of women, and I don't see our existence as a women's-only space as a meaningful threat or injustice to the men of Lemmy.
- Honestly I think a majority of the men commenting don't even notice the community they're posting in, let alone read the rules. It happens a lot when a post reaches /c/all and a flood of outside users suddenly are interacting with the post.
  Luckily this means a lot of them are not too impolite about it (even if some of them get defensive).
- Well, your response is identical to, for instance, the response given in terf communities I used to peruse. (Relax -- I'm a better person now.) The reason I am asking is that I think exclusivity is a bad thing, rather than the absence of a good thing -- i.e., the world would be better with fewer exclusive places.
  I'd counter with this -- why don't you want men in the community? And does the answer you give to that apply to every man, or just a subset? I understand, of course, that the easiest way to exclude that subset is to exclude all men, and I wouldn't want to ask the mod team to do more work for free.
Hi there, I also have nothing to do with makeup or following beauty standard or fashion ... however I have friends who do, and sometimes they like to talk about it. So ... I just zone out and let them get on with it, it's not hurting me.
Men dominate 99.9999% of online spaces, and even the most supportive of ally men will sometimes talk over women or assume their opinion is more important, so I think that maintaining this as a space just for women is a good thing.
- Yup, agreed on all fronts :-)
- what does it mean to talk over someone on lemmy? It's tree-based discussion, so I can't really visualize that being possible.
Hi and welcome to WomensStuff! Really glad to hear your views on how we do things. Dandelion already said it all better than I would have done so I don't have anything to add, just agreeing with her. 😊
I have a great example, there is a discord server called Spectrum. Its exclusively for Queer ppl, no straight allies. Theres nothing wrong with allies but Queer people need spaces where they arent talked over or judged. We also need spaces for women and minority groups in a similar manner.
follow up question, why does it matter what you call yourself on the internet?
on the internet, nobody knows you're a cat.
- What do you mean?
  
  it's a reference to this meme:
  On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog
- Thank you for your comment, but this is a space for women only to comment and post.
  
  I don't see evidence to suggest superkret isn't a woman, and I don't think this comment broke any rules nor made me feel unwelcome. It was just a misunderstanding.
- I see a lot of women on lemmy. Most people with pronouns in their usernames have she/her.
  Anyway, I think any feminist should be allowed to participate. Doesn't bother me enough to block the whole community.
Hey, I don't identify as a woman. Should I block this community?
- As @jsomae@lemmy.ml clarified, you are welcome to read, we just ask non-women to not post or comment.
  We don't expect anyone to feel they have to block the community.
- Go right ahead, if that suits you. I believe you're also welcome to read and upvote/downvote.
  Technically, I think you're not allowed to ask that question though.

52 comments