If you could add, remove, or alter one single bodily function, what would it be?
I'll start by saying that I'd get rid of the need to shit. I'm pretty sure everyone can agree that it's unpleasant.
I would eliminate the ability for humans to reproduce.
Have you SEEN people?
I wanted to say allergies, but I am not sure you mean abnormal stuff too.
Breathing otherwise. Annoying + can't stay underwater for long enough.
Though if add, direct thought + feeling sharing. Current communication is way too inefficient.
Pretty much all answers here should be valid, have an upvote 👍
Another thought, it would be nice if our hair didn't grow like any longer than an inch or so, where people wouldn't need regular haircuts or complicated hair styles.
I mean sure, ladies wouldn't be able to grow their hair out as is fairly common these days, but if our hair always stayed relatively short, it would be perfectly normal, and would save us the hassle of going to the barber.
Surprised nobody said cell degradation.
You now can live for as long as you're not killed whilst physically keeping an appearance of an ~30 y.o. This also technically prevents cancer.
In the end there can be only one!
I like this, but you can't have kids and be immortal, that's a recipe for overpopulation.
Would enjoy not aging past adulthood (or not past 45, that was my "vampire age"), but life has to end unless you want all the same people around forever and no or very few new ones.
Everyone's saying the need to sleep. That goes a bit too far IMO. Who knows it would work out as we think it to be? Maybe the 33% we sleep will just be reduced off our lifespan with nothing won.
Also, honestly, even if that wouldn't be the case - I wouldn't want to not sleep at all. It's like a regular break from life. Even if employers wouldn't exploit this, I don't want to be awake forever.
Now, here's my proposal: We still need to sleep, but we can control falling asleep and waking up like it's a muscle. Lay in bed and fall asleep anytime. No more falling-asleep issues for anyone, no more sleepless nights.
And also, we'd have a perfect inner clock and the ability to choose when we wake up. Fall asleep at 11 PM, have to get up at 7? Great, you know exactly when 8hrs are over and are able to just wake up, no alarm needed.
There’s only one good answer to this question period.
Toenail growth.
Cutting nails is annoying, and toenails are awkward and stupid.
Required to grow so they recover from damage.
Following the spirit of my post, I would assume that toenails would no longer receive damage and would hopefully last through a person's lifetime.
Side thought, it would be nice if teeth didn't rot...
That thing when you accidentally swallow the smallest amount of spit the wrong way and start coughing like mad
Biting my cheeks or tongue while eating
Oof, I can totally relate 👍
I would like to correct the gut-brain connection. 95% of the time our gut tells our brain that it wants something, and it's trying to say it wants water, but the brain hears that the gut is hungry.
My gut just wants beer right now.
Have an upvote 👍
The "loosing hair where I want it to grow and growing it where I definitely don't want it to grow" thing.
Remove the need to exercise, like an anaconda. The ability to just lay around doing nothing and still be ripped to the max. That would be cool!
˙˙˙ǝɹǝɥ uᴉ ƃuᴉɯᴉɥɔ ɐɔᴉɹǝɯ∀ ɥʇnoS
I'd like to urinate from my thumbs at will.
Who is Will, and what did he do?
😂🤣
Add Wolverine/Deadpool healing factor.
Shitting feels good... I would just alter it so it doesn't smell bad, tastes like brownie batter, and isn't toxic.
Excuse me, I just farted. What the fuck did I just read? 😂🤣
Our dog is named Brownie, I'm not in any hurry to taste his batter.
Anyways, free upvotes for everyone today 👍
Sneezing/snot production. Sure, it can feel amazing. But the sudden urgency to stop everything I'm doing and focus on my nose or risk a disgusting eruption of green mucus all over my face in a public setting is something I could do without.
Also, I'm waiting for someone with medical knowledge to come in here and mention Prions or something else silently devastating to the body.
Make everyone shit rounded rare earth metal cylinders. Suddenly we don't need Cobalt and Lithium mines any more and the worst aspects of having to poop are solved too. It's dry and doesn't stink, so no need for the toilet, just poop in your little collection bucket, no need for wiping and then you go on with your day.
Squeezing a metal cylinder out my chute sounds a lot less pleasant than just pooping poop.
Haha fair enough, I was thinking of multiple little ones not singular big ones. Think of bunny droppings or something.
Sweating. I wanna be exclusively water cooled. None of this evaporative cooling BS. Just swap fluid every six months to a year. I always need moving air anyways…
To be water cooled we would need some kind of radiator, I guess moving blood through your extremities could work but seems risky from an evolutionary perspective. Like if you're hot from running from a predator your hands and feet would be flush with blood.
Also I think evaporative cooling could help you maintain a body temp of 38 when the ambient temp is somewhat warmer than that like 45 or so. I don't think a radiator could do that.
Sorry to get all practical in this thread about not needing to poop. I was just kinda thinking out loud.
All answers are valid here, we're all basically thinking and daydreaming out loud.
Have an upvote 👍
Back pain is not painful anymore, but rather pleasant now
Surprised nobody's mentioned adding a 2nd penis yet...
You say that like you never logged into Reddit and saw the pre-Ai pics of the guy.
Some people don't even have a first penis ☹️
Have an upvote 👍
You could pre-empt the need to shit by not having to eat or drink. Honestly, when I lament humanity's weaknesses I eventually always come back to the fact that we're creatures in this universe that can only persist if we kill and eat other creatures. How would we be fundamentally changed if that were no longer true?
You could pre-empt the need to shit by not having to eat or drink.
Um, you know that your body expels more than digestion by-products through defecation, right? Where do you think dead blood cells go?
The other "noble ape" shit I'm not touching.
The other "noble ape" shit I'm not touching.
I agree. Let’s not go apeshit.
All genitals have eyes now.
And teeth and a nose and all?
Why did you curse my imagination?
Fuckit, have an upvote 👍
They already got mouth, just need eyes.
Look up glorp. Nsfw
Nails. I think we could go without nails. Specially toe nails. Finger nails could be an optional add on.
I don't mind shitting, it feels good. We could probably absorb more of it so we have less shit to do? Seems so inefficient.
Eh, I think I'd rather keep the nails for protection and to open soda cans and whatnot, but yeah it would be nice if they weren't continuously growing and need regular trimming.
Have an upvote 👍
OK, we can compromise and keep your index finger and thumb nail. But they grow at 1/10 the speed.
I’m pretty sure everyone can agree that it’s unpleasant.
I strongly disagree.
Personally I'd remove the need for sleep and effectively increase my lifespan by 3rd.
Consciousness
Good news, we can actually do all of the above already!
It's selfish, but hair growth. Hair removal steals so much of my limited time.
Hear everyone's thoughts at will so I can hear anyone's thoughts if I want to.
Does the need for particular hormones count as a single bodily function? Asking for a post menopausal person.
Sure, why not? I guess you might as well just say you would like to do away with menopause if you could, that works 👍
Sleep. It used to take up nearly a third of my life. Since having Long COVID, it's closer to half my life.
Honestly, think of what we could get done if we had all that extra time...
Senescence maybe?
Remove sneezing. If only because I find people wishing me "bless you" to be the most useless & meaningless human interaction I can think of.
How about your bless my farts, Ryan, you purposeless dingbat.
needing food. that would free up a lot of time and money, no input = no output. no dishes, no stove or fridge, no need for a dishwasher, then on the other end, no need for TP, or even a toilet!
This was my comment. My dad and I felt that same way but my grandmother just couldn’t understand how we could.
If I never needed to eat, that’d be wonderful. No more getting fat ever again and I’d probably be 100 times healthier.
If you're still regenerating tissue, your body is still producing weight. Drastically reduced (I'd guess by 75% total, of which 2/3 is dead digestive bacteria you'd no longer need), but still existent.
Fun fact, you don't defecate out weight loss, either. You exhale carbon in CO2
If I breathe more, would I lose more weight?