People say this all the time, but I've never really understood it. You can't help who you are attracted to. Do a lot of people just have relationships with people they don't find attractive?
I don't find like 99.9999% of people attractive. So I never really bothered attempting to date. I don't blame people for it like an incel would...it's just a slightly unfortunate thing that means I'm incompatible with other human beings. The few times I tried, it felt awkward and bad that I couldn't reciprocate what the other person felt. It felt like lying and I'm not really sure what I was supposed to be getting out of something like that.
Give it time. Sometimes they can start out vanilla and warm to the idea of kinks through your relationship. Usually those kind of things aren’t set in stone.
I did a calculation once about my chances of finding a compatible long-term partner, inspired by the Drake Equation and using many many assumptions. The numbers are not good: ~22 out of 8 billion.
As a married man, I gotta say you’re probably selling yourself short or have unrealistic expectations of a partner.
Remember that whoever you’re going to date is a person, not a robot. People are not quantifiable. One day they may be a dick, the next they may be pleasant. Some people are willing to compromise and others aren’t. Man, woman, or other, it doesn’t matter. If you’re not willing to compromise something, you’re never going to find someone.
Look I wasn't completely serious about it, there's no way to actually calculate something like that.
For example what's the fraction of people that find me attractive. It could range from 0.05 to 0.5. I have no way of knowing.
We could all lose a few pounds but sharing a meal is a huge thing, take that thicc person out and enjoy meal with another human being you animals. You might even find you have some commonality and you'll feel slightly less isolated when the meal is done.