My brain is a shitty racecar

I thought everyone did this, I don't think anyone in that classroom was actually learning anything about the contents of the text, all anyone could think about is "don't fuck up saying words out loud"
- I was the kid that would whisper the words that other kids were struggling reading so they would get it right while also counting ahead to practice my paragraph. Then I would get pissed because the teacher would say to keep reading when it got to me so I had to read more out loud than the other kids did.
  
  The lesson you learned was to not work at 100% or you'll get to do other people's work for them.
  
  You are a good person.
  
  Or, she would do this to the kid before you, ruining your preparation. Or have you turn to a completely different page with no warning.
- I'd say most did this. Very common thing in any case
- Some just gave up entirely and made fun of the kids who could read. What a shitty exercise all around.

Forgot to mention the panicked brain freeze when you found out you miscounted.
- Or when someone read two sections and the teacher didn't stop them.
  
  Or when one kid couldn't read one section and the teacher did stop them.

During an inconspicuous math class in my final year of highschool I suddenly had enough of going in front of the classroom to solve a math problem. I love math, was good at it, but doing it live doesn't sit well with mathematical anxiety. When it was my turn the teacher asked “Marcus, want to go in front please?” Then it hit me that that's a question. So I gathered my guts while my heart was racing and replied “Would you mind if I said I'd rather not?” The teacher laughed and said “Yeah that's fine.” My classmates' minds were blown. I didn't need to go in front for the rest of the year with which he made me king. I loved him; we always appreciated each other's humour.

When I was 3 years old in preschool we had to get in line for the teacher who would write down our name, age, favorite color, etc. on a little badge so they could get to know all the kids. When I was in line the kids in front of me were like my favorite color is yellow, mine is pink and other happy bright colors. My favorite color was a very dark blue, almost black. As I heard the other kids I was like hmmm is my favorite color weird? Am I the weird kid? Is there something wrong with me? So when I got to the teacher I lied and said my favorite color was yellow. She painted a big yellow dot with felt tip pen on my badge which I wore for the next couple of weeks. I felt terrible for lying about it to the teacher, but didn't want to say anything either.
So yeah that's when I figured out I have anxiety.
- Midnight blue? That's my brother's favorite.
  Mine is surf green.
  
  I think it used to be like a dark navy blue. I've since gravitated towards RAL 7016. It's a dark grey that appears blue in some light and almost black in other light.
- You did all of this at three years old?
  
  Yes, I lied to my teacher in preschool in the first week of the first year I went there. I was also only just 3 as I had my birthday in the summer and school normally starts in September where I lived at the time.
  Then I skipped a grade in elementary school, because my reading and math was very good. So that meant for pretty much my entire education I was the youngest in class. Not very tall to begin with, but definitely the smallest and weakest because of my age. I was made fun of a lot because of that and physed was terrible. One time the physed teacher took pity on me and graded me on the girl scale to not give me a terrible grade, you can imagine how that went over with the rest of the class. But it wasn't that bad really, I did have a lot of friends and all the making fun of me never went too far.
  But suffice to say it wasn't till uni that I really started to like being in school.

Relatable

Heh, we did that in intro engineering math. Instructor would start at one of two corners, and followed almost the same path, so you'd know to within ±3 problems where you had to perform.
- Were you afraid to misread words at an intro engineering math class?

I plan daily conversations to have with people whom I may have to talk to.
- I have social scripts that run like macros when there's the right input. If someone asks me how I'm doing I'll spit out "Great, how are you?" with zero extra thought.
  
  I’m in hospitality, the bourgeoisie will pin you down until you make them feel important. I share no common interests with the ruling class and generally want their heads so…I devise scripts lest I reveal myself😉

Meanwhile I could read more quickly and clearly than everyone while adding the right inflection and differentiating characters voices.
I thought that would make me stand out and be popular, but the other kids apparently saw it as alien.
- In 12th grade we read Hamlet out loud as a class. The guy who got picked to be Hamlet didn't understand that it was supposed to be read as a play.
  So he read every line
  Like this, because that's how it
  Was printed in the book.
  It was awful. So when the teacher said we were doing the same thing with Macbeth I immediately volunteered to be Macbeth because I couldn't handle anyone else doing it.
  
  Holup. Hamlet is the type of town, right? Not a guy's name?
  Also yeah that's hilarious!

Isn't that more a symptom of anxiety than a source from where it started?

Same

Reading and writing happen to be one of the things my brain likes, so I never really had any problems in English until I had a group project and we all divided out what parts to do, and I did my part but nobody else did theirs and it was embarrassing as fuck just reading 1/3 of a presentation, and it was the middle part. I've done theatre and had solos and such, but never did I have stage fright more than that moment, and I literally couldn't speak.

Shitttt I thought it was just me lol