17 subtitle languages, none of them the one I'm looking for

Come on where is your sense of adventure!? Go for Hungarian, you might learn something.

Yes, a new way to be distracted, frustrated, and utterly mystified.
If I wanted that, I'd just watch the news in my own native language or English 🤷
- No? Hmmm Norwegian (Bokmål) then?
I dipped my toe into learning a bit of Polish which is considered damn hard but still not as hard as Hungarian. I noped out after a few weeks, even though I would still love to be able to speak it. I can't even imagine how much of a pain it could be learning the top5-10 hardest languages like Hungarian.
And, as the LanguageSimp puts it: there's not much DLC that you can unlock with it.
- I'd believe the biggest (excluding English) DLC unlocks are:
  Chinese (dunno which dialect/version of it. Mandarin?)
  Japanese
  Portuguese
  Spanish
  And maybe some other overarching language that have commonalities with other language like a slavic language (afaik polish shares some words with russian or croatian?)

And still never once did you stop and ask whether it's you who speaks the wrong language.

I read 3 of the available languages fluently, that's not the issue.
The issue is that I'm not fluent in not missing things and having the exact spoken words to read as I hear them helps my ADHD-riddled mind immensely.
- Damn, that's impressive! What languages do you know, if it's not too invasive?

Just learn Macedonian

It could be worse. You could speak a minority language. Then this shit stops being "mildly infuriating" to become "frankly depressing".

What service are you using that doesn't offer English subtitles?

Max. They have some truly great content (along with a lot of bad, but whatevs), but they're REALLY bad at every other part of the whole streaming service thing:
Their player sucks, their selection of sub languages seems more or less random at times, their CC subs are so badly formatted and synced that they're literally worse than useless, and they keep recommending I watch the Bill Maher excrement every time I finish watching the latest episode of the excellent Last Week Tonight, with no option to block his smug face from my UI in any way.
- I believe Bill Maher could suck the fun out of a bouncy castle by his mere presence.

If the audio is English, you can expect the English text stream to be called "closed captions"

For anyone who wants to know the difference between these terms:
subtitles - just includes the dialogue
captions - also includes description of other sounds
closed - text is stored separately from the video, and can turn on and off while watching
open - text is part of the video image itself
- You can include this one too:
  forced - only includes subtitles for speech not in the main language (e.g. Vulcan speech is subtitled but English is not in Star Trek)
- Aint "Open" actually burned-in?
  Btw: For linebreaks you need to spaces after the Enter
- What do you call DVD subtitles, which are in some ways closed (can be toggled) but in some ways like open (stored as bitmaps)?
Usually not but sometimes yeah. Trouble is that, even IF English (CC) had been available, the format and sync alone of Max closed captioning is so bad that It's literally worse than useless.
I'll probably see if I can't find the show with English subs on less official channels, once I'm not too busy complaining about Max sucking to watch lol
- Have you tried opensubtitles.org? Or any torrent tracker?

No Dothraki?

Are you looking for English or Spanish?

English. I have ADHD and reading the same words that I'm hearing helps me not get distracted and miss stuff, whereas even small mistranslations into another language I understand is itself a distraction..
- Yeah i get that reading the subs really helps with focus. It's even the meta in shorts now to retain attention.
- My wife also has ADHD and says that watching stuff at 1.5x or 2x helps.
- Ha you moved, gottem!
- Yeah i get that reading the subs really helps with focus. It's even the meta in shorts now to retain attention.

No English, Spanish or Chinese? Hmm

Having watched the Muppets, swedish isn't too far off, right?

Speaking as someone culturally obligated to make fun of Sweden and Swedes? Sure!
Speaking in any other capacity, though? Not quite 😄

Somebody help me with a joke about a Czech mark

Isn't it enough that you swindle the people of Czechia, you have to individually mock them? 😉

Too bad Hindi isn't listed. I've found many a "Hearing Impaired" subtitle stream listed as such.

Like your tats

That's an actor in the show, not me 😄
- Shoot. I was about to comment your sexy knees. I thought it was a reflection.

I find Macedonian is close enough to English that I can get by /s

Do you need subtitles because that person on the couch is playing Wonderwall?

That's a pirate on the deck of a ship but yeah, if someone on Our Flag Means Death starts playing everyone's favorite party song, I'm gonna want subs for that too 😄

I have ADHD and need the subtitles to not miss anything and if they're not in the same language as the show, I get distracted by imprecise translations.
And yeah, I can read 3 of them fluently too (Danish, Norwegian, and Swedish).
I'm not some monolingual American or whatever you seem to have imagined.
- As an American I’d like to be offended but the reality is many of us aren’t even fluent in our primary tongue so monolingual is being generous.
  That said how dare you

Summary:

- If you don't understand it, isn't it useless to you???
  Also. Welcome to the fucking internet where not everything needs to be 100% serious.