Apple Rankings by a guy who has big feelings about apple varieties.
Apple Rankings by a guy who has big feelings about apple varieties.
🏅 #1 RANKED YELLOW APPLE
The Opal apple looks like it shit itself. I apologize for being uncouth but there is no more apt observation. Just look at the top of it. The Opal apple looks like a jaundiced, freckled, unwiped anus. In fact, this may be the ugliest apple of the modern era. That being said, if you’re going to be an ass, you might as well be a good ass. And like a good ass, the Opal apple is exceptionally sweet and juicy. In fact, the complex flavor profile featuring hints of banana, coconut, and pear make this Czech-born, oddly-named monstrosity a delight to consume. And while the outside may be stained with a toddler’s accident, in an ironic twist, the interior of the apple does not brown for quite some time. So I say, if you’re looking to spice up your life with something a little different, close your eyes and eat ass. Who am I to judge?
BONUS POINTS: +2 Taste
He gave Arkansas black a 23. That's all I need to know that this dude is full of shit
Definitely. Dude does not know his apples. Dude has Honeycrisp at number 2. His taste can be safely ignored.
The best apple is the one fresh from the tree. Any common variety is going to be good. That's why they are cultivated.
I swapped from my classic Granny Smith to Kanzi and/or SweeTango under his recommendation, and haven't looked back. He turned apples from a bottom of the barrel fruit to up there with plums and tangelos for me.
The reason I thought apples were trash fruit was from eating the common varieties - the royal galas, the braeburns, the red delicious. Trash apples, not trash fruit.
Arkansas Blacks are awesome.
For those interested, https://applerankings.com/
I spent a stupid amount of time here.
Gotta try that Kanzi
Apple rankings is unironically a gem of the internet
Oh thank you! I didn't realize I hadn't included it.
Tangy
My boy did McIntosh dirty. Anyone able to, try one.
Red Delicious are an abomination. I grew up with that- we had both kinds, red and yellow. Bleah.
They're red, but they sure aren't delicious.
Fuck those nasty apples that taste like plastic half the time and have a fluffy texture