dingus @ dingus @lemmy.world

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2 yr. ago

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Oh yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to imply it was exclusive to one gender! Just staying my own experience. My mom was a victim of domestic violence so I think I was raised with unfortunately that kind of in mind...she always had a passive role in conflict so I was supposed to as well. And then some of my close friends seem to have similar responses to conflict.

Well right...I try a new thing out for a while and then it doesn't work. I either continue to try them even if they don't work (like running...i keep eventually hoping I'll get a benefit after doing it for over a year) or discontinue them and try a new thing. I've never found anything that works for me despite the fact that I keep trying. It's frustrating.

The latest thing I've been trying is SSRIs. Those don't seem to do anything either.

I get that the OP and my responses make it sound like I'm not trying things. I am. I have been. That's why I'm so frustrated.

I want to try giving therapy a longer shot but I have to wait until my work schedule is more consistent. It will be in a bit of a flux for the next month or so.

Don't worry, the anger would never be directed at innocent people like that. It is directed at the self. So the end result you speak of may occur one day, but to the self and not others.

It's not that I don't feel brave enough...I know that I'm not supposed to say anything in response. I get in trouble when I do so. The person I have trouble with is not understanding in differences of opinion.

I'm actually not a man, believe it or not. The other women in my life have taught me to be that way as well.

Yeah everyone is suggesting therapy, but unfortunately I won't be able to plan out something for the next month or so as my work schedule is a bit in flux. I started on SSRIs about 4 months ago, but have not really noticed any effects on them... positive or negative.

At the moment I have lodged a complaint within the company and asked for a request that I think would help me out. So that is an ongoing process right now. But I am not hopeful because there have been complaints lodged about my supervisor in the past without any helpful resolution.

Yes, I can leave the position. But I work a small field and everything else about the position is amazing and hard to come by. But my sanity is constantly being pushed over the edge by that person.

Yeah my one coworker has tried to teach me to just agree to and comply with whatever my bully is saying. I am actually able to do this for a period of time! But after a while, I tend to fail and have a reaction. It especially happens if I am provoked repeatedly in relatively quick succession.

I guess one of my frustrations is that my entire life, I have been taught that I am not supposed to react to people who bully me or otherwise act inappropriately to me or others. I am just supposed to let them do it and try not to show any emotion or reaction in response. I can act passively to try to protect myself, but actively is not correct.

The frustrating thing about it is it just enables bullies to continue bullying while I struggle to maintain composure from repeated incidents.

I guess it's like...

Not reacting to bullies doesn't make them go away or fix the problem. Contrary to popular belief, some people don't stop taking advantage of others just because you aren't visibly reacting.

But reacting to bullies makes me look like a crazy person.

So what then?

No, my supervisor is actually literally mean. She is mean to everyone and it causes a lot of struggles with everyone. I just have a harder time handling a bully than other people, and she bullies me more often than the rest of my coworkers.

Have you never had anyone bully you or others at work? I'm glad to hear it, man, but we aren't all that lucky. My coworkers handle it better than me, but I'm also picked on a bit more than them.

This is the first time the bully at work also happens to be my supervisor. I have been able to handle workplace bullies in the past by interacting with them minimally, but I can't do that when it involves my supervisor.

I do not have any helpful outlets. The things that people say are outlets don't work for me.

Running? I do it. Doesn't help. I ruminate during a run.

Venting to a friend? Doesn't help. I feel guilty for bothering them, they get frustrated with me for bothering them, and it's wrong to do that to people who have busy lives and their own problems.

Venting to ChatGPT? Occasionally will help a little bit, but usually does not help. It's not a real person and does not understand me, but prevents me from harming others by venting to them. Also helps me ruminate on my problems.

Writing down my thoughts? Doesn't help. It makes me ruminate.

Yeah so someone had recommended that I see a therapist. I just started seeing a practitioner who can give me psych meds, but my work schedule is a bit too unstable to start with a therapist at the moment. (will take several weeks for me to finalize my schedule) I have seen therapists in the past but never knew what to talk about, but it was brought to my attention that this is an issue I need to address.

It is not super common, but it's common enough that my friend takes notice. The issue is that I occasionally explode at work which is not good for my job security. Generally if someone is being mean to me or my fellow coworkers I get upset. My supervisor is also a huge bitch who is rude and mean to everyone and I have a hard time dealing with her at times. Most of the times I am able to shut up, but sometimes I get upset with people like that and I react inappropriately.

Oh! Then you're not a bad bf and it doesn't sound like a toxic relationship (well from that minimal info anyway...could be other things going on)! Like the other user stated, it is a bit odd how your parents are still controlling your phone usage, but other than that it sounds like everything is ok! Don't worry about it! Miscommunications happen!

Did you re-explain yourself the next day? How did he respond?

How old are you? You don't sound like a bad person. I'm sorry your bf was having a rough time, but did you explain what happened? I would not necessarily recommend sneaking around your parents if it can end with you getting in trouble. If your boyfriend cannot be understanding of that then it is not healthy behavior on their end.

I feel for you, but I hope you understand why people are hesitant to trust a stranger on the internet asking them for money. As well this isn't exactly a community designed for that. Wishing you the best.

Yeah it's always interesting to me when I come across memes and conversations about having nothing to do at work or just pretending to work. I've had different jobs throughout my life and I don't think I've ever really had one where I wasn't constantly working all day. I don't work a blue collar job, but I currently work in healthcare.

I guess it's the classic "office job" scenario where people just sit there not having stuff to do for large stretches of time? I always wondered how that worked.

Also interesting to me that India surpassed China's population. I know that their growth rate was significantly higher, but I thought they were still a ways off from surpassing them. With the birth rates a lot higher in India than China, I wonder how much larger their population will grow and what it will mean for global culture and communications.

Yeah I'm kind of confused why entering your card info on a website is that difficult for OP.

Very common in the US medical field as well

Did you read this line in a book or something?