Trump Confirms “He Will Win” UFC Fight at White House, Confirms Pay per View

(Washington DC) In a statement Friday, donald trump confirmed he will win the UFC fight planned to be held in the White House: “well of course I will win, and america wins,” trump told reporters as the rose garden was being paved. “I can’t spoil everything, although I can, and there is a chair and it will be really something, there will be blood and maybe Ivanka, it will be really something.” Trump then ‘pantomimed’ choking a Fox news reporter, who was later hospitalized with bruises to his neck.