You know rent is about to go up when the millennial grey, minimalist, raw dog food delivery service boutique opens up in your neighborhood

White people will look you dead in the eyes and tell you that Palestinian children deserve to starve and then go drop a band on 3 different types of raw chicken feet and salmon fins to feed Bark Ruffalo, their goldendoodle with an uncannily human expression

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"Bark Ruffalo" really got my
energy flowing
- Honestly I really appreciate the input because I came up with it on the spot and felt really proud of myself
  
  I got really mad at a hypothetical person who would name a dog that so it's very effective, well done
someone has to have made a gentrification sign tier list, this is an S rank for sure
- Expensive pet stores, an abundance of yoga studios, boutiques, and salons, a flurry of ill-fated overpriced concept bars, Mexican restaurants run by white people that charge $7 for a taco, a brewpub with the most mid IPA you've ever tasted, fad restaurants in general (acai bowls or whatever the fuck), almost completely unused rooftop patios, a health food trend grocery store that charges 4X the price for basic goods (it replaced a local, much cheaper supermarket), the neighborhood suddenly gets nice sidewalks and transit (for the white people of course)
  
  Bagel shops, fancy donut shops, fancy ice cream parlors, drinking chocolate shops, French-style bakery-cafes, cold-pressed juice shops, mediterranean cooking supply shop where everything comes in a <500mL container and mostly looks like it's there for the aesthetique
  
  almost completely unused rooftop patios
  lmfao gottem
  
  The Mexican place has to also gentrify elotes and call it “Mexican street corn” and charge $12 per ear (yes the ends are cut off)
- We need to get hexbear’s best minds on this asap tbh
"Raw Dog Delivery" Service would make for a very interesting entry in a phone book.
- That’s your mom’s name in my contacts list
Place looks like a cross of a butcher shop and the serial killers front so no one guesses he's feeding humans to dogs.
- thank you for expressing the deep unease i felt looking at these pics
Not pictured, but next door to this is a wine-tasting bar.
- These places have to be money laundering schemes bro
  
  Maybe, but there are hordes of bougsie wine cave warriors in that area and a fuckton of tourists giving that place a plenty of real business.
- Check the logo!!!
  
  Even for gentrifying place standards that's a dogshit (lol) logo
Reminds me of the food labels from Repo Man
- Pick n Pay is an actual supermarket retail chain in South Africa lmao
You leave Bark Ruffalo out of this he is an angel.
That window does need a brick tho
You need to throw a brick through their window to keep rent down.
- I have a better Idea
stores opening doesn't raise rents, landlords do
- Yes, but the best way to predict when a landlord increases the rent is usually tied to property value (which in turn influences property taxes). And the best way to tell if property value is going to go up is by paying attention to the kinds of stores opening up (or developments being built) in your neighborhood.
- Thunder doesn't kill you, lightning does
- Rent's been going up everywhere I lived and none of the places have gotten nicer
i was on vacation with family in a "cool" capital city (tbh, it was p cool) but anyway there was a "cat cafe" near the hotel where my sister+her kid wanted to check out. they didn't partake, because apparently it costs like $20/person/hour to just go inside and drink drinks (~$10/drink) and if you want a cat to come over to you, you have to pay someone to bring it ($10) and then pay again to give it treats ($2/treat).
when they articulated all this to me, i was like, "wtf, was there even anyone in there?" and they said it had a few people in it but was mostly dead. like, i can see the appeal of being somewhere that there's a bunch of cats that might come up and hang out, but i cannot imagine paying for that, especially so much. like do the cat's cough off golden hairballs?
i used to live near a really cheap restaurant that had like a dozen feral cats always hanging around out behind it. i could get a meal and a few beers and all the cat attention in the world for like $6.
Sit out on the stoop with a 40.
Drink: Doodle type dog
Dog in a stroller
Purebred "rescue" puppy
Kill your drink: Pit in a tutu
- Missing a few
  Kill drink:
  -Owner does not pick up after dog
  -dog has leash stretched to the max and forces pedestrian going other direction to leave sidewalk
  -dog acts aggressively towards other dog and both owners think “theyre playing!”
  
  That's like 75% of dog encounters on streets in Poland. 25% remaining point 2 don't apply because no leash.
: Bark Ruffalo

: Karl Barx
- I wanted the first name last name double dog pun though
  
  We call him barky bark for fun
Though he expresses some confusion about his part in the plan
And he can't understand that he's not in command
The decisions underwritten by the cash in his hand
Bought a sweater for his weimaraner, too
Now I'm no mad man but that's insanity
The amerikan project creates this in exchange of millions of people not having clean water nor a home
Doodle crosses are a genuine negative for society. I have lived with a standard (full size) poodle and they are really great dogs, but they're absolutely not a good fit for most dog owners. Poodles love attention. And they like barking for attention. A standard poodle (the most likely cross) barks at about 120db. Absolutely everywhere. Outside, enclosed spaces, right in front of your goddamn face. This is about 35 db louder than the threshold for hearing damage, and the decibel scale is logarithmic. I feel that largely burgerlanders do not train their dogs well and because of that, we have people who are constantly exposed to hearing-damage levels of sound multiple times a day inside their own living spaces. They can also be pretty intolerant of kids and they get nippy.
A poodle cross can combine those negatives with all the negatives of the breed they're crossed with. For example, I've also lived with a purebred Golden Retriever. This dog had seperation anxiety and chewed through a panel from a door in a night. But hey, at least they don't make you sneeze, right?
- I think that personally if you are allergic to dogs you maybe shouldn’t have one and just get a different pet

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