Talk to Jesus Ouija Board. Yes, this is a real product.
Talk to Jesus Ouija Board. Yes, this is a real product.
Link for you unbelievers!
https://www.amazon.com/Holy-Spirit-Board-Games/dp/B09QH3HC72/ref=sr_1_1
OMG, it's an actual Jesus themed spirit board. 🤣 The instructions are just divine:
How to use the Holy Spirit Board
The Holy Spirit Board is the only board that you and your friends can use to communicate directly with our Lord and savior Jesus Christ either in a group or by yourself!
1. Place the game board on a table or other sturdy, flat surface.
2. Place the Magic Cross on the board.
3. Have everyone lay thine hands upon the Magic Cross, and say the following prayer:
"Oh Magical Jesus, please guide our hands to answer our questions, Amen!"
4. Next, ask Jesus a question. It can be any question you want! Jesus knows everything!
5. Let the Holy Spirit guide your hands to move the Magic Cross around the board. You can ask a "yes or no" question, or, let the Magic Cross spell out your answer one letter at a time!
When Jesus has answered all your questions, don't forget to say goodbye!
And remember: anyone who says the Holy Spirit Board doesn't work is both a liar and a sinner in the eyes of our Lord. Amen.
Edit: there's even a website with a video promoting it:
LOL it's like they know the whole thing is a joke but they're cashing in on it. Kudos to whoever is behind this!
Edit: That video is fucking hilarious!!
The crazy and ironic thing is that if this product was properly marketed, they could actually sell a shit ton of these to "Christians" like MGT and a number in the alt-right.
All of the commenters and reviewers are the same people that if this was magic blessed by some Christian pastor and actively marketed towards them, they'd buy it in a heartbeat, not because they believed it worked, but because they'd want to support a Christian.
I was able to find a news article where an exorcist from the Catholic Church warned people against buying it. This shit is hilarious.
this is not surprising at all, given the fact that we live in a world where people genuinely believe the earth is flat and vaccines are nanobot biospyware invented by bill gates
Some people are just allergic to money.
ngl i could see buying it for the lulz
21st century syncretism, lol
Can you burn a Jeezi board?
That makes me wonder if there's a Yeezy board that you use to contact the spirit of Kanye West to... I don't know, ask him about Jews?
HELP JEEZA
“Goodbye Jesus” Hahaha that really got me. Shouldn’t it be Amen or something else.
It's the perfect Saturnalia Christmas gift!
The Amazon comments on this one are pretty fun.
The ones I found most amusing were the "I was hoping this was for real but it's just a gag product" ones. If you really believe this stuff works, wouldn't a "gag product" still work just as well?
The Holy Spirit Board is the only spirit board designed to directly contact our lord and savior Jesus Christ! Unlike other spirit boards that are often used to contact ghosts and demons, this is a one way ticket straight to heaven. Try it today, and discover a new way to pray!
I want so bad for someone to ELI5 the belief system that includes:
- Ghosts, demons, and a conscious ephemeral Jesus Christ are all out there waiting to be contacted
- Sliding a thing across a board is an effective way to talk to them, but like... Shaking up some Scrabble tiles, or scribbling on a sheet of paper with your eyes closed or whatever is not
- Which invisible entity you're talking to depends on the theme and art of the board
REALLY curious to know how all of that fits together.