I struggle with depression and alexithymia. How do I write with emotion?
I struggle with depression and alexithymia. How do I write with emotion?
I have to write a paper about a place/time that I have an emotional attachment to or a place that has shaped my sense of self. I haven't really felt much of an attachment to anything for most of my life. Even if I did, I wouldn't even know how to begin describing the nature or cause of that attachment. I chose to write about the woods by my childhood home because I spent a lot of time there as a kid but I couldn't tell you how I felt about it in the moment or even how I feel about it now. I literally don't have the words
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I hope you're getting the help you need to cope long-term.
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Focus on the tangible, objective details of the memory. And if you don't have your own "why," that's okay! Focus instead on what the facts deem likely.
For example:
"I remember liking the woods. There aren't really words for how I felt, but I'll help you see it how I might have seen it: Sunny days shaded by the leaves. Cool, damp nights. The sounds of different birds. The sounds of rustling branches. Twigs and leaves under foot."
Hopefully you can see what I did there. That's all a linear statement of facts. You're literally just writing the things that you, or anyone else, might have experienced while in the woods.
BUT - and here's the important part - everyone else will form their own emotions around it, based on their own experiences. So the listeners will believe you're sharing emotions. And it's okay if you aren't feeling them.
So just describe things from memory, maybe adding in extra likely details.
Also, if someone questions your word choice, it's acceptable to say something like, "you and I may process emotions differently. To me, those were the right words."
Hey that's a pretty good idea, thank you! That got the neurons firing a bit. As an aside, I was getting help for a bit but therapy is expensive. Im going to school so I can finally get a job that pays enough for me to get health insurance instead of paying out of pocket. Thanks again!
Be sure to check whether your school offers mental health counseling. Many do for free or at low rates.
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I have the same combo of illnesses (though maybe less intense Alexithymia)
A useful resource for me is an emotion wheel (you can find one with your favourite search engine)
It has tiers to it, so you could start with happy, for example, then get more specific with the sub-categories
You and I both know there would be great difficulty in identifying what actual emotion you feel with regards to your childhood home, even with an emotion wheel. Since you're not being judged on the accuracy on the emotions identified, you can pick a few that sounds reasonable.
For me, your assignment would more feel like a language exercise of picking the right word that makes sense in context, rather than thinking about the actual emotions experienced. In this case, the emotion wheel would help by acting as a reference of emotions to consider, and act as a sanity check if you're writing something positive but chose an emotion that is a sub category of anger, for example
That's a really great way of thinking - "Understand the logic of the emotions, rather than the emotions."
My entire life is about using logic instead of emotions to make decisions. Fortunately I am slowly getting the help that I need, but for now: Using logic definitely allows me to get by in daily life, even if it would be better to be able to describe my actual emotions
That's a great idea! I've been so fixated on trying to follow the prompt, the thought of using one of my emotions wheels never occured to me lol. Thank you
Do you like or dislike a particular time or place. It may not be exactly what was asked but if you describe your what you like or dislike about a time or place it will appear to be emotional.
I deal with the same thing. I had written for several small publications, and one way I overcame my disconnect from emotion was just by stream of conscious describe things. The way I'm subconsciously describing it tends to reveal my feelings for it. Directly, i really feel nothing for it but under the layers I do have a sense of emotion for it.
I did have some success doing essentially what you said. My free writing was certainly a lot more colorful than the draft I produced. I had a hard time editing my free writing to fit the prompt, essentially stripping what little emotion there was out of it in order to make it flow. The ADHD also made it rough to stay on topic haha. I'd get really into what I was writing and then read it back and realize it was completely useless for the purposes of my essay
Read several novels, and in time,you will learn how to label emotions.
I don't think I'll be able to cram enough reading in to learn how to feel emotions by Sunday night but I'll try my best
Short stories are often intensely emotional as well. They might be more approachable.