I love all the long waiting and useless messages that comes with it, too.
- Preparing to download.
- Downloading. useless progress percentage
- Preparing to install.
- Installing. more useless progress percentage
- Please do not turn off your computer.
- "Hi".
Don’t forget when the update stage actually reads 100%, which makes no logical sense because if the stage was at 100%, you wouldn’t still be telling me we are processing it as the current stage.
Somehow Windows struggles with file i/o and always has been. When copying stuff to floppy disks in Win 3 or 95 the progress bar steadily grew to 100% and since floppies were loud, you could hear that the actual copying only started then and you had to wait longer staring at 100% than the progress bar before.
Yup that one really pisses me off.
meanwhile updates on linux telling me exactly what is happening in real time, working completely in the background, and politely informing me that i may wish to reboot to apply all the updates properly
Then,
-Please try Edge
I remember Nintendo Wii.
Nintendo: "Hey, a new system update is here."
Me: "So what's new?"
Nintendo: (shrug)
Homebrew people: "This patch changed nothing, except they tried to plug a hole. Damn, took us almost 10 minutes to counteract that this time!"
(OK, there was one system update where they added the ability to run stuff off of the SD card, but beside that, there were a whole bunch of updates where they tried to stay ahead of homebrew/pirates and failed spectacularly.)
The old paradox of Microsoft security updates. The more frequent they are, the more they look like they're staying on top of things. While at the same time showing the world there are a lot of frikkin' security holes in Windows all the time.
Update kbmorbillionnumbersandletters:
Fixes issue in update kbevenmorenumbersandletters
If they told people it was just to add more "telemetry" and ads, they wouldn't install it.
That was my first instinct haha. Came to comment "new telemetry"
do they give you the option to not install? i remember windows just updating without ever asking anything
There are ways around it, but yeah, I think they pretty much get forced on most users afaik.
There are songs tools which will disable update altogether, Windows Update Blocker... But you know, use at your own risk or whatever.
Ads.
They just don't want to tell you about them.
They want you to find out organically and immediately explode into inconsolable incandescent rage as you tear your system inside out to remove them.
New ads.
And sometimes it corrupts your drives. Just for fun.
Don't forget new keywords to trigger bing search in the start menu vs opening the local program.
there are detailed changelogs for almost every single KB on Microsoft's website
Yup
Here are the changelogs of the latest 23H2 update, and all the smaller incremental updates:
Microsoft software is well documented
Hm. That's very generic and seems to only describe the software behavior from a user perspective. When I'm looking for a change log, I'm thinking of something like this: https://github.com/evcc-io/evcc/releases (came to mind because evcc was the last thing I updated).
They built a web browser into my start menu.
Why...
Microsoft: Will somebody please use Edge. Anyone. Please? No, using it to download Firefox doesn't count!
This comment and subsequent responses are making me wonder now, if you somehow dug out a 15 year old flash drive with like a Firefox 3 installer on it or something, could you get that up and running and eventually updated to the current version?
It's not like they're the first ones to do it either. Ubuntu did it before them and it was a massive disaster. Miscrosoft couldn't not have noticed it. They've seen what happened, and they went "Yes, that's exactly what we want" anyway.
I know it’s fun to bash on Microsoft, but:
Microsoft also really likes to install the update on your machine, wait a while, then finally activate whatever feature it is they changed.
Like I think I read somewhere that every machine running 22H2 around the time 23H2 came out was actually running 23, but with most of the new features turned off. Also even before 23H3 came out they were sprinkling those features into 22 so by the time I updated nothing changed.
Yeah, for that reason, the feature upgrades only take a normal restart compared to the 30+ minute upgrade of the past.
We can meme all day, but I’m not going to pretend half the problem isn’t dipshits that just don’t know how to use Windows or, you know.. Google..
Updated the
tracking analyticscustomizations and user info prompt we spam you with every time you restartWhat changed? Likely your VPN doesn't work now. Lol
Which VPN were you using that stopped working after a windows update?
Or did you just read a headline and not bother to look into it any further?
For reference, they literally just broke VPNs for many people and corporations are now having to roll back updates for their staff
https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/microsoft/microsoft-says-april-windows-updates-break-vpn-connections/
Just resetting your preferences to Microsofts preferences. They have to do that frequently; otherwise you might start to think it's your machine.
Probably updating the Pilot AI to be more sly sbout spying on you
Dunno, but graphics drivers stopped working again! Go reinstall them!
A long time ago you used to get a list of changes.
I'll stick with my sudo apt update and sudo apt upgrade
With the millions of updates they keep pushing, you'd think by now, they would have fixed their drivers going stale out of nowhere and shit just stops working until you remove and reinstall them and reboot, for some weird reason.
Wut? If the driver fails for some reason, it gets restarted in the background and you get a small notification in the tray about that. That's all, no need to reinstall anything.
