The Onion @midwest.social restingboredface @sh.itjust.works 3 mo. ago

God Announces Easter Weekend Double XP for all Churchgoers

hard-drive.net God Announces Easter Weekend Double XP for all Churchgoers

HEAVEN – In a desperate plea to get gamers into pews, the Almighty Father has announced double XP for all churchgoers this upcoming Easter weekend.…

Excited about this one. Lent debuff hit me hard this year.

22 comments

Also from the patch:

Respawn time reduced to three days.

Can't wait to give this one a try.
- Isn't that just for admins?
  
  It was a one-time spell for the son of the main dev.
games been pay to win since they added indulgences.
- That has really ruined the gameplay since it came out
  
  They switched to a freemium model but I don't know how they get away with charging 10% of your total income. Seems illegal.
That game got overrun by cheaters a long time ago.
- No shit. The rule book is hundreds of years old.
  
  You can try the sequel but they reconed a lot of the lore. I mean the lore wasn't very sound to begin with but man the new stuff reads like fan fic.
Do I have to kill IN the church for the bonus?
Lots of golden lines from this one

Longtime churchgoer Loretta Montgomery is disappointed by her local church’s involvement in the event, “I don’t recognize the parish I grew up in. Just last week our priest took an ad break in the middle of his homily to talk about NordVPN. And now he expects us to say ‘gg’ instead of ‘Amen’? Lord have mercy.”
I wonder if this season will have any good Easter eggs in it. Can’t wait!
Don't let yourselves be fooled guys. He's trying to lure you in with a special offer just so that he can crank the prices up once you're hooked.
Excited about this one. Lent debuff hit me hard this year.

You can negate the debuff entirely if you wrap meat in dough. God can't see through dough. Easy exploit

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maultasche
Even Atheist gamers are intrigued by the Moses level value at Judas level prices

Lol, good one
Isn't Islam unironically like this?
I always say that this is why people eat at Chick-fil-A. To get them sweet Jesus points.
Scrub, the Muslims are having a double-XP month with Ramadhan. Although they need to do certain event (fasting) to be eligible for the bonus.
Just be careful not to get sniped while you max out his XP.
I thought most Christians already treated Easter like it was 4X XP.

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