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The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world

1y ago

I bet this is what Colin Jost did

45 comments

- That lucky sumbitch
  
  She is lucky

Or perhaps she's disappointed you didn't even make the effort to know that a marriage certificate has to be signed at the county clerk's office instead of on the red carpet to be valid?
- Well huh. I was going to post: "you know who wouldn't have fallen for that? Esteemed academy awards nominated actress Margot Robbie, that's who".
  But I enter the thread and who do I see, posting in the middle of the work day no less?
  You guessed it. Esteemed academy awards nominated actress Margot Robbie.
  Tsk tsk.
  
  You got me!
  To make up for it, can I have your autograph on a receipt for at least like 20 copies of "Barbie" on collector's edition Blu-ray? I'm a big fan.
- It just has to be signed in front of a notary. You can become a notary for $150. Though you cannot notarize yourself
  
  That's true only in a few states in the US, and at least in California, not all notaries can do this.

JESUS HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE BREASTS
- Least down bad Lemmy user
  
  No, thats just a caps lock & comma mishap - they are asking Jesus a question (I assume something monograph or poultry related).
- Jesus sees everything 😏

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Get yourself a girl that looks at you the way Scarlett looks at Colin. Honestly go Google photos of them, she's always so enamoured with him, in every photo.
- Women like funny men with good personalities, modest good looks help too.
  
  I mean, Colin Jost has a lot more than modest good looks...

He she’s left handed like me. Clearly we’re meant for each other, suck it Jost.
- How do you know the image isn't flipped?
  
  Because the writing at the top is the right way round, duh.
  
  Are you saying she's actually Australian?
  
  Engagement ring, left hand.
- ~~you also have 6 fingers?~~ apparently I have 6 brain cells

Am I the only one counting the fingers here...bah who cares anymore.
- no. no you were not. this is a shitty timeline.
- Why can't I just find a girl with 17 fingers like in the pictures?

Oh, that's where I went wrong. I used a death certificate instead.

It's ridiculous how beautiful she is. It should be illegal

You sound like this guy I worked with. Worshipped her.

Scarlett: What is this, a marriage certificate for ants?

Every picture I see of her makes my temperature instantly spike

honestly, are people salty Colin jost got her? she could of gotten any dude out there but at least she went with someone who seems relatively grounded as far as celebrities go.

Is ScarJo a lefty?
- the image is reversed. you can tell because no one in real life is left handed
  
  I'm a lie?!
- She says she's an independant but she always supports the Democrats
  
  Stop, I can only get so erect.
- She's holding the pen like she's a lefty overwriter.
  
  Engagement ring, left-hand.

45 comments