You said I could eat anything, right?

Happy Meal ©®™

The executioner looking at me after I asked to eat him as my last meal

Imagine going through the trouble to eat the entire chair, only to find that they have another one.

I’d be so nervous during my last meal that I’d definitely puke and never want to eat that dish again, so I would make sure to pick something I don’t like.

yfw you apparently forgot you get executed by firing squad

So, unfunny fact. In Texas, the nation's leader in state sanctioned executions, you don't get to order anything. Because my mayor is an absolute piece of shit, we ended the practice way back in 2011.

Now death row inmates receive the same inedible crap served to the rest of the building for their final meal.

Congrats, you now die of starvation.

I'd probably try Fugu if I had to order my last meal. I also doubt they would bother to cook it properly so I would avoid my sentence (officially).

It's rich in iron.

Your executioner might be a robot

Michel Lotito would probably pull this off

If I ever get the death penalty I'm going to eat a huge amount of food that I know will give me a giant volcano of diarrhea.

I'm never going to hurt anyone, but all these new censorship laws going around and me being as subversive as I tend to be...some of the jokes I make. Yeah.