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A man buys a pair of smart shoes

The idea is that, when he goes out on the town and winds up drunk, his shoes can intelligently walk him home without him getting lost. The only problem was that the shoes were too smart, and wanted to see more of the world than just the road between the pub and his house. Every so often, he'd sober up and find himself on a beach or by a river or some such.

Unsatisfied, he decided to leave his shoes at home and just not drink as much. The shoes didn't like this either, and walked themselves into his car. They were able to start the engine and drive off, but they didn't have arms to steer with. They crashed horribly, and were destroyed in a resulting fire.

The man was distraught. Those shoes kept him safe at night, and they had personalities of their own. It felt like a very real loss to him. As he was grieving, he asked a priest for advice, only to be told that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. His shoes were good shoes, and they were surely going to heaven.

Because shoes have souls.

(Yes, I did steal this from Red Dwarf, but do you blame me?)

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