Skip Navigation
Transfem @lemmy.blahaj.zone Amelia_ @lemmy.blahaj.zone

What are your favourite transfem tips and tricks?

Hiya girlies!

Today I'd love for us to share the little tips and tricks that you're proud of, things that help you feel like the best version of you! It could be about anything, makeup, hair, hair removal, voice, mannerisms, diet, exercise, fashion, whatever you learned that had a positive impact on your life that could help another girlie learning who she wants to be!

Something I've been particularly enjoying recently is finding ladies I particularly admire in media and copying the things they say, trying to match their intonation and expression. I know it's not an original idea but it can be super fun and very satisfying when you get it right! :3

28
28 comments

  • Most of us tend to be top-heavy rather than bottom-heavy, so look for nice outfits that create curvature to counter that. For example dresses with sashes, coats that widen at the bottom, corsetry, etc. you generally want to avoid anything that straightens your silhouette. The aim is to give the illusion of fuller hips and a narrower waist.

    But also remind yourself that most women (cis or trans) are not the pristine, soft-spoken, glammed up doll-like beauties the media likes to pretend we are! Women can be loud, women can be butch, women can be muscular (👀 be still my gay heart). Try not to be too hard on yourself.

    (I've been trans for 10 years, ask me about anything!)

    • I'll settle for being a cute, comfy mess hehe~

      I am super looking forward to corsetry though, but I am a bit worried about my tummy, I'm slowly starting to see the effects of extra exercise but I'd really appreciate any suggestions you might have to help there!

  • Lately, it's been keeping my daily skincare routine and perfecting my haircare routine. Having soft, smooth hair is my favorite and is worth the effort. I've also been experimenting a lot of with outfits and styles that I normally shy away from, as well as embracing my own femininity in a much more confident, less shy way than I'm used to. You can tell that people treat you noticeably differently when you're overtly feminine, and I normally don't pass, but I feel like I have been more often since making these changes.

    With skincare to actually get started I just picked out a day and night moisturizer that had decent reviews and wasn't too heavy as my skin is more oily than dry normally, as well as Neutrogena's ultra gentle face cleanser. I've since added a brightening serum that I use every day and have been eyeing an eye serum specifically to help with my dark eye bags.

    Every morning, I cleanse off all my night product, and then apply my brightening serum and then my day time moisturizer that's spf15. Then, at night, I cleanse off my daytime product before bed, getting all the dirt and oils off my face. Then I apply my brightening serum again and apply my night time moisturizer.

    Improving my hair care routine came down to getting satin pillowcases cause they're pretty cheap if you can find a local store that has them, and my hair is bad for tangling overnight. I also got a bond protector that has significantly reduced the damage I get when blow drying my hair, which I do every time I wash it. I also have a tub of coconut oil based hair product that I use a little bit of on the day after i wash it. My hair has grown a lot since I started doing that.

    Every time I wash it I use my Tresemmé keratin smooth shampoo to get the coconut oil and other oils out of my hair. Then I use the keratin smooth conditioner and really work it into my roots before spreading it over my full length hair. It's important to run your fingers in between the strands to make sure the conditioner gets the root area, at least it is for me as my roots get dry. I leave it in for a couple minutes while I finish up showering and then rinse it out. Once I'm out, I gently dry my hair with a massive old band t-shirt from my pre-transition era, and then apply a conservative amount of Olaplex No. 9 bond protector working it from my ends all the way up to my roots. Then I blow dry it first on low heat then on high heat, and get it brushed out and parted with my point comb.

    With hair and skin care, experimentation is important to getting things exactly as you like them. Drug stores these days carry a range of products, both cheap and expensive, I started with cheap ones while I sorted out what my skin needs. A tip that's helped me a lot is getting a small bottle of Clean and Clear 5% benzoyl peroxide acne treatment. If I see any white heads starting on my face during my morning or evening routine, I apply some of that after putting on my moisturizer. Makes a huge difference in preventing acne from fully developing, at least for me anyway. I only apply it once a day until it's mostly gone and then stop, as it does dry out my skin a fair bit.

    Edit: Added some actual tips, lol

  • If you have curly hair, follow the curly girl method!!! My hair went from a mess to being my most feminine features that makes others jealous.

    • Also, another hair tip, for facial hair this time. Try out safety razors. Shaving with a safety razor gets the closest shave and is dirt cheap.

      To shave, partially fill the sink with some hot water (as hot as you can manage (without scalding yourself obviously)), then wet your face with it. Exfoliate (using shaving soap is a great way to do this, since the brush doubles as an applicator and exfoliator). Then shave with the grain. Against will get a closer shave, but at the cost of bumps and razor burn. After some practice you can shave in just a couple of minutes with minimal artifacts.

    • whats the curly girl method do you have resources on that

      • This is a decent introduction, but I'll summarize the basics.

        First, you want to avoid shampoo and conditioner with sulphates and silicone. These chemically relax your hair and build up over time. They work great for people with straight hair (i.e. the majority of the white population that beauty companies target), but not for people with curly or wavy hair. My products of choice for this are Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus Curl and Shine Shampoo, as well as the Conditioner of the same range.

        Once you have these, you want to cleanse your hair of any built up silicone. This will take quite a while (took a few months for me), because the other main thing to remember is that you should only really be washing your hair once a week. Most people with curly/wavy hair just don't need to wash it as often as straight haired people. You should also only be brushing your hair while it is wet in the shower.

        Then there is technique, which I've found isn't as important but does help. When you dry your hair, you're supposed to do a thing called "plopping". You put a towel on a flat surface, plop your hair onto it, and then tie it up into a headwrap thing.

        Finally, the rest of curly girl is just experience. You will get to know your hair and how much conditioner and care it needs. It takes a while but is very rewarding!

      • Googling gave me This

        Never heard of the curly girl method, but I do have curly hair. I've basically been using this method for like a year and a half without realizing it, and it's gone pretty well for me.

    • how do I know for sure mine is curly?? I never tried to do anything so my hair was mostly straight, but when its wet, its kinda between 2a and 2b or something?????

      • It's probably at least a little curly in that case. You should be able to wrap a strand around your finger and see it hold a curl or wave.

  • For hair removal, I proselytize for sugar wax. You never see ads for it or beauty influencers talk about it because it won't make anyone any money; can make it and do it yourself for super cheap. It's basically a mix of melted sugar and lemon juice that's cooked into a sticky viscous candy you can use to rip your body hair out. Initial set up costs are under $50 (for a wax warmer, spatulas and reusable cotton muslin strips) and maybe a dollar per session in materials afterwards, if that. All it costs is time. You can use it just like a traditional depilatory wax, but because it's made of sugar it's water soluble and relatively easy to clean up. It's also gentle enough that it's fine to go over the same spot again if you miss some hairs. After several years of waxing every three months or so my hair finally thinned out to where I'm not so self conscious of showing unshaven legs sometimes. I'm cis but I'm hairy so I've experimented with a lot of hair removal methods. Sugar wax is an amazing value for its results, and the best solution for broke ass ladies like myself to thin the fur.

  • Get your eyebrows shaped! They change the framing of your face so much and nobody ever talks about it.

    • How, where?

      Right now I am just pulling some long hairs out once every few days in the hope that they'll become less bushy in the long run.

  • So, uh... I'm a cis guy, but I kinda wonder if maybe you girls have any tips that could make my face look less fat when I go clean shaven. I think I look fine with my beard; without it, my face looks so much fatter than with the beard. I wanna look more feminine, but just in the face.

    • Well you could apply makeup to contour your face, or you could chew a lot of gum which some people say strengthen your jawline?

    • Well I don't know you or your habits but when I eat salty stuff like chips my face balloons.

      Plan a two week period where you leave out the salty stuff and you'll see that you'll look considerably slimmer. In fact due to the water loss you'll lose a lot of weight too.

      When taking pictures it might feel artificial but just stick your head out to the front, which will separate your head more from your neck on the photo. Maybe try it with some selfies. Also looking up can help, and take the picture from above.

      Also it is OK to have goals/directions but I advocate for self acceptance at every point, including right now. It's not what you wear but how you wear it. Being authentic and comfortable with yourself is way more attractive than anything you can do with your body.

  • Sorry but I'm gonna focus on the bigger stuff:

    Learn to listen to yourself, especially during the social transition. People whom you respect will try to convince you otherwise and the more you listen to them the longer you'll remain dead.

    And also that we as a people with a shared experience provide a lot of value for society due to our hard earned experience. Sometimes I feel there's this silly debate going on, as if there's some kind of problem. But truthfully we can show everyone what self acceptance looks like, and that's important for everyone.

    Fetish fashion stores are a good place to start with trying on female clothing. It's an accepting atmosphere and the employees are likely to support and help you with love. Wearing something sexy is incredibly empowering as a woman.

    Hopefully you can then work up the guts to visit a makeup store and ask for advice. More expensive stores like Chanel will be more private and professional and have someone attend to you personally. You can take a friend with you. And be prepared to put down good money for some basics. But it's worth it. Get some close to natural looking eye shadow, mascara and lip stick, so you don't have to be so precise at first. Use day light and check out a few YouTube videos. The first few times you'll put more mascara on your nose and in your eyeballs than on your lashes.

    Get your ears pierced at a proper piercing studio or jeweler that has piercing equipment. Can't go wrong there!

    Get a large long mirror. Try different ways of walking in front of it.

    Also at least for me the first medical step was hair removal. And from the hair lady I heard it's quite typical to start there, often without a diagnosis. At least where I live you don't need a diagnosis to get healthcare coverage. Like sure the whole process without blockers takes like 30 sessions, but even just a single session will feel so much better because shaving is easier and faster. So if you're poor and have no coverage it might still be worth the 100 euro for one session. Also for the pain I recommend praying in Latin.

    Some smaller stuff: Use micellair water with those pads to clean your face twice a day. In the morning always put on spf facial cream after to keep it moisturized and protect from the sun. Always. And you can get another cream for at night. That way your skin will be clearer and it's important for makeup, because without it it'll be bumpy for some reason.

    Get some fancy hair products. For example at a good hair salon. Especially if you have curly hair. Say it costs you 100 euro, ja it's expensive but it'll last you a year so basically you're paying like 8 euro a month for nice hair. Look up the curly girl method. Only wash it when it's genuinely dirty or if it doesn't listen to you any more, so once a week or less.

  • I struggled a bit with injections but found that if I cough while stabbing I don't really notice the pain.

    The pain isn't really a big deal but knowing I have a trick around the pain helps to make it all less of a big thing to do that day

  • : Shea butter, cat meows and purrs, good tweezers. Good mantras, "you are a strong woman." Acceptance therapy. Panty liners. Good underwear. Remember who you are and what you're working towards. PMS effects trans people too.

You've viewed 28 comments.