They are all true but the 3rd one is pretty serious...

Let's not share the version with the credit cropped, folks. Come on.

Original

I've not seen this version. I was able to edit it to this with the credit. Thanks.
- Hey, thanks for replying. And thanks for updating with the uncropped version! Sorry if I came off as harsh. Comics with the credit cropped makes me salty.
Don't blame OP ... they were taking their shirt off when they were posting this

oh dang
Ugly sweater party is tomorrow Costanza
I started hating Seinfeld when they started doing this type of episodes (doing bizarre situation). I loved episodes like the Chinese restaurant.

I worked with a guy that only shat if he was naked. He said it was the cleanest and most comfortable way to poo.a Side note is that he went to jail once and he cleaned up his act after he had to "poop in front of another man"

English isn't my first language, and I struggle to understand the last sentence.

Could anyone explain it?
- The co-worker at one point went to jail and adjusted his naked pooping routine after the experience of having to poop in full view of another man, ie in a shared cell
- As a native english speaker - I also do not understand.
- Maybe replace "that" with "and"? IDK.
  
  Side note, I'm not in jail but I'm pooping naked right now.
- To "clean up your act" is an idiom meaning "stop doing bad things", and so the implication of the last sentence is that having to get naked to poop in front of another person regularly is the experience in jail that rehabilitated the person the poster is talking about.
Shitting naked is a prime tier strategy.
- Taking a shower right after is full stealth mode

I used to be a never poop without having my shirt off person. I always felt like my shirts were long enough to get shit on. So I think it was mostly paranoia.

I never shat in public spaces including school. I don't know when I stopped both but I can proudly say I'm a shirt pooper now.

Until you really really need to go hard, then it's clothes off again.

A few years back I had something clogging up my intestines (no clue what) on the night that I was going to take a 3 hour flight to a wedding, so no lying down and way too much sitting in a cramped position for a too long time. I never felt more constipated as after I arrived and could finally stretch again.

So about 2 hours later when I could feel that it was nearly time, I evacuated to the furthest possible bathroom (I didn't want to be a party pooper), lost all clothing except my socks and spend 30 minutes in agony, explosively shitting away, while covered in sweat and bracing myself against the walls.

All of which to say, is that you might think that you have left your shirtless days behind, but when shit really hits the fan, then you won't be able to stop yourself from going back to your old habits.
- I mean I've already shit my pants once this year... It's gotten better after curbing the drinking but once you hit near 40s farts are almost universally untrustworthy.
  
  E: Not to say every fart is a shart. But every time I've shit my pants the fart felt safe lol.

I remember a post on the Other Side in the Unpopular Opinion sub (before it turned into science denial and stuff) of a guy who said that they only poop naked because (1) you sweat while pooping and (2) cloths hinder you from moving freely.

This is real but for me it's wtf why would I take of my shirt?

I've had to take my shirt off in only dire shitting situations for the reasons guy mentioned above. Especially if sick, cloths could be constricting.

To have that everytime..... that dudes diet must be trash
- Constricting? How much movement do you make whilst sitting on the shitter? You're just sitting in one spot aren't you?

The best time to hit someone in a fight is right when they're taking their shirt off. They can't see and their arms are stuck in their sleeves. If they're going to make it easy for you, take advantage of it.

Typically I prefer to combine these 3 activities

Permanently Deleted

Also known as: Second Phase.

The poop sweats.

Prosecutor: "do you swear to the truth?"

Me: