Plan the activity with a smaller group than you would want initially. Then invite others to an already organized event and rely on fomo to get people to go. Works great.
I have two small friend groups of four and in both is someone who often works weekend, so that's always fun trying to plan something, let alone if I want to have both groups somewhere. It was honestly a miracle I could get all 6 of them in one place at the same time somewhat close to my birthday.
The way myself and my party does it is we play every other week on Saturday from 6pm to 10pm. This way everyone knows the schedule and can plan around it. If people can't clear their schedule to play then we replace them. It's harsh but it's the only way I found to play D&D consistently.
And I myself have excused myself from a game because my life schedule changed and couldn't keep the commitment I had previously and it would be too much work for the rest of the party to change their schedules.
Harsh but fair. It ensures that everyone can work their schedule out in advance, while also presenting clear expectations for participating in a voluntary hobby. Is there a consecutive number of missing sessions before being replaced? If not, how does the DM work it out in the campaign?
You have to be harsh, otherwise nobody gets to play. When we started our new group we made sure to inform everyone that playing DnD is not to be treated as a secondary hobby that can just be canceled for other stuff all the time. Make it your priority, plan other things around the sessions if you want to play with that group. Of course, any emergencies excluded but otherwise treat it as if it is your sport club training. If you miss too many sessions, you're out.
I know this sounds super arrogant and mean, but it's the only thing that works consistently. Also filters out friends who are not ready or able to commit that much time for playing.
I only run west marches style games now. The pcs need to be back in town by end of session or miss out on carousing or possibly worse depending on where they are. Each game is self contained so people can drop or join as they want.
Yeah this convo is either saying they're going to a bar which can be fun. Or they're 18-22 and drinking is as much about buying the alcohol as it is imbibing it.
Proximity really makes friendships better, and at least easier. Some of the best memories are made on a whim. And even with the busiest people you can have a better chance of seeing them with a spontaneous text versus a long-term plan.
too bad I don't drink anymore, well actually I drank this Saturday while celebrating a friend's birthday but I literally can't remember when I drank before that, probably like my birthday in May.