this must be the best thing I've read in ages.

I guess that explains why I've never "got" identity politics.

Thank you so much for sharing! This is really relatable and interesting theory and provoked lots of thoughts, I read another article from the same author about grand emotions and it too was striking, super inspiring stuff and I feel more validated after reading these.

I actually began to doubt if the therapy I went to was "off" as the focus on emotional skills was on "non-autistic emotions" and that underlined the fact that I wasn't at all good with those, but there wasn't much recognition and support for emotions such as those mentioned in the grand emotions article.

During school, I've been bullied to the point that I gave up on the concept of self-worth. I don't know, if I would have been considered autistic without making that experience – nor do I know, if I'd be considered autistic now, as I'm not diagnosed – but I certainly feel like I identify with autistics now.

The loss of my self-worth meant I eventually started pursuing goals that were for the Greater Good. I had no reason to pursue 'personal' goals anymore.

And yeah, this made me consider, if this whole blob of what even is autism is maybe just this identity thing, too. That maybe some folks are truly born with differences to other people, but those just cause them to struggle identifying with everyone else. And then the lack of identity causes all the other characteristics that people typically associate with autism, but which could also be developed by anyone else who loses their sense of identity.

This is a really really interesting article, I do have one thought though.

I'm not autistic, but my partner is, hence the fact I frequent autistic spaces to help myself understand her better. If someone asked me Who are you? I'd want to answer I am kind, social and insecure, but I wouldn't because I'd presume whoever was asking implicitly asking about my social intersectionality, because from there, they can map where we fall on wider topics, so I'd answer "I'm a D&D player and general RPG designer, I'm bisexual and living in (trendy UK city).

From this, I'd assume that they would think, well he's bisexual, so probably progressive and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, into D&D so probably nerdy and social, and lives in a city which is welcoming and like-minded, so probably supported in his beliefs.

I'd hope they'd unpack my values from my social intersections, but they'd also make assumptions based on if they wanted to like me or not. Someone who would answer "football fan, rocket league player and car enthusiast" may map their network from rocket league, to gaming to D&D and find that we both loved Skyrim a decade ago, leading to a good conversation about that, where we'd then try to imply our values though our conversation. They may hear bisexual and have issues with the LGBTQ+ community and try to seperate their social map from mine, and avoid making links to me, and we wouldn't have any conversation because it's already clear that we could argue over something like pronouns easily by them knowing themselves and my sexuality meaning I'm likely to champion other parts of my community.

However if I'd answered kind, social and insecure, you can't unpack that the other way. You'd never know where to take that conversation to a point that resonated with both of us.

I know this isn't a perfect take, as to my understanding, if I told autistic people my social intersections, they'd be less likely to start to automatically make assumptions to unpack my identity from it, but in a neurotypical dominated world, I'd just default to assuming whoever I'm talking to will.

I know the article ends with Non-autistic people are likely to reject this theory as it disempowers their privilege as the superior “default” neurotype and I guess I'm doing exactly that, but I really don't believe that my neurotype is superior, but by being more prevalent, I will with strangers in a way that's most accomodating for people without autism.

There really aren’t many autistic people who would argue, “But I feel just like everyone else. I’m normal!”

oh.my.god!! lmaooo 🤣 Also, relevant meme.

Then, in August of 2017, shortly after the white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, I found myself in a heated disagreement with someone of similar political views but who was definitely not autistic. I felt like they were parroting party politics without seeing how they were contributing to racism. They thought that I was “causing division” by not following party lines.

This reminds me of how the author of A Field Guide to Earthlings argues that allistics create knowledge through social construction. Basically, truth is whatever everyone agrees is truth.

[Dis]ability

Yessss! Abilty

This is being published as a theory and not as a fact. Autistic people are invited to share their thoughts and engage with this theory, even if to disprove it.

I feel that statement. After being attacked for having a different perspective on matters my entire life, sharing these viewpoints comes with the fear of being attacked as a malicious actor or moral failings rather than being sincere about a possible perspective that is up for respectable discussion. Thus, we have to preface it with a disclaimer to have a voice while helping to avoid "retaliation" for whatever value or norm we unknowingly violated.

It’s also worth noting that many, many autistic people just answered, “I’m who I am,” “I’m me,” or “I don’t know who I am.”

I have theories about why many autistic people struggle to put words to who they are. Some of that could be that they do not experience identity the same way that the world describes identity, and so they struggle to understand themselves within the neurotypical context. Others may have been shamed and over-therapized and gaslighted to the extent that they have never had permission to explore their passions and truly meet their authentic selves.

😢

Many autistics who loved their identity communities– professional, religious, racial, LGBTQ+, etc.–were shunned from them for not being a “team player” or for “causing division.”

Ugh, the story of my life! So, then the issue becomes trying to learn what sincere comments I can or cannot make . What happens, depending on the situation, is that I will either restrain myself too much and avoid making helpful contributions for fear of upsetting someone, or lose a lot of caution and really upset people to the point that they see and treat me as someone that needs punishment.

Autistic people may air their grievances with problems within an identity to which they belong, setting the stage for the other person to confirm if they share the same values. For example, a Christian autistic may express their discontent at the church’s focus on prosperity and financial “blessings” as being a reflection of greed or of contributing to morality being associated with financial privilege.

This person gets it!! We're pointing out contradictions and establishing that we are not okay with that hypocrisy.

They monitor and adjust their own behavior– publicly– and often ask others to hold them accountable.

Yes!! Please, just tell me directly what I did that upset you. I have a lot of trouble with passive aggressive behaviors. I will either think you're in a bad mood and just help you feel better, or I will think you're a manipulative jerk. Neither of these will help me figure out and reduce what upset you.

What a great article. I found it validating, educational, and helpful with my own self-awareness. Thanks for sharing!

Thanks for sharing this!

I’ve never read this before, but I have seen unsourced quotes and talked to people that present it as established fact.

It’s been a good experience to read the original.

Omg this! I have felt this way for a long time, but never really had the words.

Wow... I think I might be autistic...

Thanks for sharing this!
I'm thinking this must be one of the defining characteristics that is shared by most ND people. It's not new to me and my self-experience but finally there i have someone who put it in clear words, and it explains a lot about ND social functioning.
Also read that "Grand Emotions" article which is being linked to in the article, which has the underlying reason ("truth" and such as primary(!) emotions that's an interesting take).
I can use this well for explaining what it means, "a fundamental difference not a disability in understanding".

Edit ... And also there's some light on my confusion with the meaning of the word community. For me it would mean much more than "grouping of people with similar interest" but more like "communal". Maybe i shouldn't call the thing i want to find/co-op a "neurodiverse community" at all.

This is why I said to a DEI person at work who was annoyed by my refusal to self-identify: "my identity is not yours to construct, and I will not be labelled for your convenience."

Skimming, I'd think autistic communities answer differently because the places aren't like others first, then because the members aren't like others. Does the author say what autistic communities they polled?