I can feel the same emotions as others and am able to communicate without any misunderstandings.
It only works on depressed people.
I can slap people over TCP/IP
Being the first known human to fully interface with a machine also leads to the discovery of cross-platform illnesses.
You are the first human to experience the effects of a backdoor trojan firsthand.
Trojan can't communicate with host, still a win
Summon lobsters at will.
The size of pea
Rise my tiny loblets!
Photographic memory!
But you are blind
But your keys keep disappearing, even though you know you've put them there.
Invisibility!
but only for things you are wearing
Your clothes don't get invisibility, so you have to get naked and eventually die of hypothermia.
would still work in florida
I can stop, start, slow down, and speed up time.
But every time you do it, you fall asleep until someone else wakes you up with the magic formula "wake up, you dummy! Wake up!" When you wake up the effect is over.
I instantly know the answer to ANY question
you now have access to cursed, ancient knowledge and it drives you crazy
