1mo ago

The Republican candidate for NYC mayor is a former world record holding competitive pickle eater that was kidnapped and almost murdered by the Gambino crime family.

He also wears a little red beret everywhere and has been divorce 4 times lmao

18 comments

god forbid a guy has hobbies
- Mamdani, do one of several very funny options. Publically invite him to once again eat meatballs, ban meatball contests to everyone except for Sliwa (this one has my preference), or make it a vegan meatball eating contest and make participation required to vote next time.
He lives in a 750 sqft apartment with his partner and 15 cats
He also ran the guardian angles, a sort of pro police group that would hastle people frow what I've Heard.
Zohran had a good run
- If Zohran loses because his opponent is funny and interesting then it might be time to look inward. At that point it might not be a condemnation of the American people, but rather communism itself getting owned.
  
  Curtis Sliwa lost big time to Eric Adams of all people, so that's not gonna happen.
God forbid a white boy catch a vibe
Ok but his last name sounds like a slur from star wars
- It actually means 'plum' in almost all Slavic languages.
  
  At least here in the Balkans plum can also be used with a more genital meaning.
a beret??
Ready for a quirky, down-home police brutality campaign
Notorious liar, Curtis Sliwa.
- It's hard to find competitive eating results for anything other than the Nathan's hotdog contest from before 2000 but everything I can find points to the pickle thing being true. He verifiably came in 3rd in the 1994 Nathan's hot dog contest, and emceed the 2002 pickle contest as a "former champion." The story about the deli guy telling him to compete is almost certainly made up though, since it changes every time he tells it.
  The mafia hit also seems real, Gotti was tried 4 times on it and it was pretty much accepted during those that he had ordered the hit but was able to convince enough jurors that he had left the mafia before 1999 making the 2004 trial past the statute of limitation.
  Also this lmao:
Idk if I can support Zohran anymore y’all…
- I mean, NYC is known for being attacked by crazy monsters, I've seen the movies. It's only a matter of time before an enormous pickle lays seige to Manhattan, and let's face it - Mamdani doesn't have what it takes to face that down.
  Vote Sliwa for Pickle Security!

18 comments