3w ago

Thieves steal €30,000 in bull semen from farm in northern Germany

dpa-international.com

Thieves steal €30,000 in bull semen from farm in northern Germany | dpa international

38 comments

30 thousand euros worth? Where are they sold?
- It's for personal use.
  
  These guys were THIRSTY!
  
  If only there was a vegan alternative.
  
  Kinda looks like milk, so maybe they were thirsty?
  
  Taking a bath in style
- Other farms for insemination, my guess. I'd imagine they're for specific breeds.
- There are online marketplaces for it.
The pedigrees of steers is a world unto itself. I've heard stories of people who were in the business getting wined and dined by governments. Bizarre but pretty interesting.
One man's cum is another man's income
Image the culprits, suspected to be fuck-goofs
- Why is that guy red
  
  He's a twiggy alien that's severely allergic to dogs
  
  He's shy.
How much volume is 30k of bull spunk? I'm thinking it must be at least a bucket full.
- The official unit is bull-kkake.
Why there are no movies about sperm bank robberies?
- Probably because the actual plot would be nowhere near exciting enough to compensate for the draconian restrictions enforced by ratings agencies for daring to mention human reproduction 🤷
- Wasn't that one plot point of Man of Steel?
- There is Brassic episode about stealing bull sperm (although from a farm, not a bank).
  I think it's S3e01
Is nothing sacred?
How do you fence 30k of cow spunk?
- I don't know, but once I was flying business class and the guy next to me had a liquid-nitrogen flask full of prize-winning brahma bull spooge. According to the guy, couriers like that are well-compensated. Made my work seem meaningful in comparison.
Prost Mahlzeit!
Do they plan to make Red Bull?
New Jackass Episode???
Finally, bull milk!
My milkshake brings all the bulls to the yard
What are you going to do with it @instantnudel@feddit.org?
- Why me 😭
  
  Well it's a little obvious don't you think? Who else would be able to handle this absurd amount of semen? Also what would an average person do with it? Exactly. Only a person that craves the seed like we crave for oxygen would do it. Somebody that literally breaths fresh life (because of semen)
  Do you have any reason (or alibi) why it should not be you?
Creamy and delicious
"Quick, spit it into this thermos!"
Did no one see this coming?
The barrel was probably mistaken for Nuclear Bloom

38 comments