What could Anon do?

I absolutely hated the latest Halloween movie because of that. Oh a rural American town has a serial killer problem? Let's go out with baseball bats and hockey sticks. Motherfucker people go out with automatic rifles when an unknown car does a U turn using their driveway.

I'd like to see a horror film where the the generic killer navigates a small town that's had its locals form into a militia under homegrown martial law, and the killer actually thrives in the paranoia that comes from it.
- Rambo First Blood?
- Oh shit, that sounds pretty cool actually
- There's something of a character and chapter like that in Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson. It's a good book otherwise, too.
To be fair, Michael Myers is supposed to be at least slightly inhuman. Same with Jason Vorhees or Freddy Kruger.
Ghostface is literally just a dude.
- Well yeah but then they should explore that. I don't want to see a couple hillbillies try to beat Myers to death using baseball bats and kitchen knives only for him to slash them all.
  ! what's even stupider is when they get him down and one of the main characters stabs him in the shoulder when one of the townfolks tells her to go take care of her daughter. Like it would take the same amount of time to stab him in the face.!<
  I'm fine with inhuman as long as everyone else acts like they have half a brain. That's why that movie is rated like shit.
And yet, The Shape would be undeterred
- Shame we haven't seen The Shape in a while.
automatic
I fucking wish lmao

I'm pretty sure the creators of the original film almost wanted a parody of slasher films, which is why it's so over the top ridiculous at some points lmao

I watched Scary Movie before I watched Scream and I was surprised how similar they actually are. Of course Scary Movie dials the ridiculousness up to eleven, but Scream is just as much of a parody itself.
- I'd say Scream veers much closer to satire than parody. It's more focused on the commentary than the comedy. It does make use of comedy, but it's not solely focused on just that.
- I will never not laugh at the bong scene, the little echo he does haha.
Yeah that was definitely the intent

Oh no he’s appeared in my home! I’ll stumble over furniture and throw 4lb items at them until cornering myself.

Honestly that is one of my favorite parts about the Scream movies. The victims never go down without a fight and make the killer look like a clumsy goofball lol
- With every chase sequence in that movie franchise Ghostface never eats shit less than like 3 years.
I have at least a dozen items in my house that I know I'm gonna be throwing at a burglar's face in case of a break in. I've lived in first floor units all my life too so I always have a Roman gladius by the window. It's not sharp, but it's metal and it's blunt.
- Metal doesn't have to be terribly sharp too pierce flesh. As a 6 year-old, I accidentally stabbed myself with a cabinet handle that was extremely blunt. It's all about the ratio of force applied over an area. The most mall ninja shit sword will still cause potentially fatal injuries, it just wouldn't be a good battlefield weapon.

Ah but you're not taking into account:

A) very, very scary mask

B) there's more than one of them

Ah but they don't yet know there is more than one. You got me on the scary mask tho

I feel the same way about the mainline Halloween movies. Just put the escapee down, c'mon.

I mean, at least in Halloween it is HEAVILY implied that Mike has something supernatural going on with his durability.
- "implied" doesn't he get stabbed and shot repeatedly and just walk it off?
- Like his ability to drive a car with that mask on 😂

Some mace would ruin that guys year. Or at least the mask would come off immediately.

Some mace, or alternatively, a mace.
- Why not both?

Every teenie slasher movie: "Hey we got half the football team and half the cheerleaders in a house with a killer who picks us off one by one. Let's split up!"

A knife? Laughs in metal coat rack

Myersbros, people are making fun of us again...

Basically one of the problems in horror movies.

Make people do stupid conclusions and acts for the plot's sake - so you'd have material for a whole movie's time instead of 15 minutes 😂

Fortunately some movie plots are a bit more complicated and need actual thinking and mystery-solving.