A bunch of short Scandinavian dudes broke into my house tonight and did all kinds of weird shit

Fólks they've got these nasty Yule Lads. Bad people, believe me, this is why they want to ban Merry Christmas, so the Yule Lads can commit pranks against you.

Yeah, sorry about that, I don't handle my juleøl very well.

the slamming isn't so bad but one of them keeps sniffing the doorways

Did you have an awkward conversation with a tall, old man dressed in gray a few months ago? You might want to pack up for a long hike.

They run a protection racket. You have to bribe them with rice porridge topped with butter or they will do this to you every year.

You didn't leave out milk for them, I assume.