For someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, this really made me cry. I wish I could undo my transference onto people. That is why I choose to stay alone nowadays. This was motivating to reflect upon and remember to keep up with my mental health goals.
I don’t think you need to stay alone. I would have loved this person and stayed with her until the end of the time, all issues and illness included. My only ask was that she stop her illness from attacking me, but she never could.
So you don’t need to be alone. You just need to trust and be as stable as possible for that one person who’s willing to ride it out with you.
My partner has BPD, and in the nearly two years we’ve been together there have been two major episodes where breaking up with them snaps them out of it. This most recent one, just a few weeks ago, was bad and I told them this can’t happen again, that they can’t stop trying again and they need to keep working on it if they want me to stay. They haven’t tried for quite some time now and they’d never let me in, but this time they did and they’re letting me help them. I’m hopeful that we can ride these waves together from now on and that I can be a stable point for them to hold onto. I know that I’ll be the target, but I’m willing to be that if that’s what they need. For now. I hope that never changes, but idk.