Skip Navigation
Lemmy NSFW @lemmynsfw.com yay @lemmynsfw.com

i'm out (edit: I can’t)

Update: I contacted with current big owners, other older friends and lastly from some friends from here. Mostly all of them living in US so they don’t want/can’t host it. So I’ll keep hosting without being on moderation side. @gavi@lemmynsfw.com will post about details I guess. @gavi@lemmynsfw.com is the new top admin.

As you know, it has been 2 weeks since I opened the instance and it has grown quite a lot. Likewise, the time I have to devote to this work has increased a lot.

I'm dealing with lemmynsfw more than my IRL job right now :D This is bothering me. Also, having an NSFW instance instead of a normal instance makes things much more difficult. If you remember; I had my biggest scale fuck up with the post "we allow loli content" :) This situation wore me out. Also a lot of problems are bothering me, both as a software and as a community.

That's why I'm thinking of transferring the instance and the domain to a person I trust. Who can maintain the deployments and also know this stuff. I will also roll over any donations made, excluding the current month's expenses.

I'm sorry if I've upset anyone. That's all from me.

12
12 comments

  • Hey just a quick FYI, if anyone here in the US is thinking of taking this instance over, I would strongly recommend becoming extremely familiar with correctly implementing section 230 of the Communications Decency Act and related laws. And I don't mean just reading it and thinking "I am a smart person, I get this now". I mean learning how large social media sites and their T&S teams actually implement it for real. Otherwise you will very possibly go to a PMITA prison and wind up on the sex offender registry.

    I'm not messing with you. The feds do not fuck around with this stuff.

    • American law is honestly just deeply convoluted and annoying. Having to take into account the 50 mini countries in a trench coat hyper-specific legalities is so fun!

  • Here is a list of NSFW subreddits that protested Reddit’s API changes (for various reasons, only included if they announced it beforehand). Perhaps you could convince some of their mods, most of which pissed at Reddit, to join lemmynsfw.com or even pick up where you left off.

    For clickable links, view this on Reddit

    Subset of this list and this list based on this scraper's output as of approx. 2023-06-11T16:00:00Z. Additionally, if the subreddit was not available (private already) and bigger than 5k, a manual decision based on archive.org was made. The list is incomplete also because the original list is. No guarantees on the correctness or completeness of this data.

    1+ million:

    r/adorableporn
    r/Amateur
    r/amateurcumsluts
    r/BiggerThanYouThought
    r/BreedingMaterial
    r/BustyPetite
    r/CollegeAmateurs
    r/creampies
    r/cumsluts
    r/CuteLittleButts
    r/GirlsFinishingTheJob
    r/gonewild30plus
    r/gonewildaudio
    r/gothsluts
    r/hentai
    r/holdthemoan
    r/LipsThatGrip
    r/milf
    r/nsfw_gifs
    r/NSFW411
    r/nsfwhardcore
    r/OnlyFans101
    r/OnOff
    r/palegirls
    r/PornID
    r/porninfifteenseconds
    r/PublicFlashing
    r/Pussy
    r/RealGirls
    r/SluttyConfessions
    r/squirting
    r/TinyTits
    r/WatchItForThePlot
    r/worldpolitics

    500k+:

    r/aa_cups
    r/abelladanger
    r/AssholeBehindThong
    r/assinthong
    r/AutumnFalls
    r/bdsm
    r/bodyperfection
    r/Boobies
    r/Braless
    r/Breeding
    r/burstingout
    r/DarkAngels
    r/darkjokes*
    r/dirtypenpals
    r/Exxxtras
    r/facedownassup
    r/FestivalSluts
    r/Fingering
    r/FlashingGirls
    r/fortyfivefiftyfive
    r/GirlswithGlasses
    r/GoneMild
    r/GoneWildStories
    r/gwpublic
    r/horny
    r/Hotchickswithtattoos
    r/hugeboobs
    r/IndianBabes
    r/MiaKhalifa
    r/obsf
    r/OnlyFansAsstastic
    r/orgasms
    r/PantiesToTheSide
    r/Phatasswhitegirls
    r/PLASTT
    r/PornStarletHQ
    r/Quiver
    r/Ratemypussy
    r/rearpussy
    r/RileyReid
    r/seduction
    r/seethru
    r/SexyTummies
    r/shavedpussies
    r/simps
    r/slutwife
    r/StraightGirlsPlaying
    r/tanlines
    r/Tgirls
    r/thighhighs
    r/tits
    r/traphentai
    r/whooties
    r/WomenOfColor
    r/YoungGirlsGoneWild

    250k+:

    r/adultneeds
    r/AsianAmericanPorn
    r/AvaAddams
    r/bootyshorts
    r/BotchedSurgeries
    r/BreakingTheSeal
    r/BreastEnvy
    r/broslikeus
    r/cameltoe
    r/collegensfw
    r/Couplesporn
    r/CuteModeSlutMode
    r/datgap
    r/doublepenetration
    r/ElsaJean
    r/EvaElfie
    r/ExhibitionistSex
    r/FemboyHentai
    r/fuckingmachines
    r/GirlsWithGirls
    r/gonewildplus
    r/GoneWildSmiles
    r/HelplessHentai
    r/hipcleavage
    r/Hitomi_Tanaka
    r/Ifyouhadtopickone
    r/Kendra_Sunderland
    r/LatinasGW
    r/legs
    r/LenaPaul
    r/lewdgames
    r/naughtyinpublic
    r/NintendoWaifus
    r/Nofans
    r/Ohlympics
    r/OnlyFansBusty
    r/OnlyFansPetite
    r/outercourse
    r/PassionX
    r/PAWGtastic
    r/Pee
    r/Pegging
    r/pelfie
    r/phgonewild
    r/pokeporn
    r/PristineGirls
    r/RedheadGifs
    r/RemyLaCroix
    r/Sashagrey
    r/SexyFrex
    r/slightcellulite
    r/spreading
    r/stupidslutsclub
    r/suctiondildos
    r/thiccerthanyouthought
    r/tight_shorts
    r/titfuck
    r/Titties
    r/vagina
    r/WeddingRingsShowing
    r/westernhentai
    r/WholesomeHentai

    100k+:

    r/3DHentai
    r/Alison_Tyler
    r/analcreampies
    r/animeplot
    r/AnriOkita
    r/Artistic_Hentai
    r/AttackOnTitties
    r/augustames
    r/AussieGirls
    r/Beardsandboners
    r/BiGoneMild
    r/Bikini
    r/bikinibridge
    r/Bustyfit
    r/celebritymommy
    r/cigars*
    r/Clits
    r/CockOutline
    r/Consentacles
    r/DadsGoneWild
    r/doublevaginal
    r/EdgingTalk
    r/Emily_Lynne
    r/erotica
    r/femdomcommunity
    r/femyiff
    r/fetish
    r/flatchested
    r/fnafporn
    r/FutaCum
    r/futanari_comics
    r/GBr4r
    r/GirlfriendsNSFW
    r/GirlsWithToys
    r/GoneWildAudible
    r/handinpanties
    r/HelltakerHentai
    r/HentaiForcedOrgasms
    r/HentaiHumiliation
    r/heteroflexible
    r/hotwifechallenges
    r/HypnoHentai
    r/JerkOffToAnime
    r/KahoShibuya
    r/LegalCollegeGirls
    r/lickingdick
    r/Lightskin
    r/MandyMuse
    r/MicroBikini
    r/Mooning
    r/netorare
    r/nopanties
    r/nsfwanimegifs
    r/NSFWfashion
    r/Oilpen*
    r/OnlyFansBlonde
    r/OnlyFansBrunette
    r/Onlyfanssmallgirls
    r/Paizuri
    r/pantsu
    r/Perky
    r/PetaJensen
    r/Playboy_Albums
    r/PornstarsHD
    r/promoteonlyfans
    r/realsexyselfies
    r/RetailFlashing
    r/RiskyPorn
    r/sextoys
    r/sexygirlsinjeans
    r/SiriPornstar
    r/SissyChastity
    r/softies
    r/solesandholes
    r/SoloMasturbation
    r/spanking
    r/spidergwen_34
    r/StandingOut
    r/TheUnderboob
    r/TheUnderbun
    r/Thighs
    r/ZootopiaPorn

    50k+:

    r/18_22
    r/AirplaneNudes
    r/AltBoobWorld
    r/animalcrossingr34
    r/asiangirlsbeingsexy
    r/AsianPussyAss
    r/baddragonfun
    r/bratlife
    r/chickswearingchucks
    r/dadbod
    r/DaddyPics
    r/DarkSidePlayground
    r/DeepthroatTube
    r/DIY_eJuice
    r/EdgeTogether
    r/FootjobCum
    r/FootTalk
    r/GayDaddiesPics
    r/gingerdudes
    r/Girlcum
    r/GWASapphic
    r/HorrorMovieNudes
    r/jolynehentai
    r/LadiesInLeather
    r/lipbite
    r/loona_nsfw
    r/LuckyPierre
    r/naturalpenis
    r/NoFansCouples
    r/OnlyFans101BrandNew
    r/OnlyFans101Inked
    r/OnlyFansNaturallyHot
    r/OnlyFansReds
    r/OnlyFansSHMILFS
    r/Oviposition
    r/Playboy_Gifs
    r/predicamentbondage
    r/PredicamentHentai
    r/r4rindia
    r/SensualMFM
    r/SexTips
    r/sextstories
    r/SloppyKissing
    r/Slutoon
    r/sportsbrasGW
    r/Stunners
    r/Sukebei
    r/Touhou_NSFW
    r/uncut_cock
    r/VentiHentai
    r/vore
    r/yaoigif
    r/yurigif

    * = Not porn but NSFL. This is a manually curated, not exhaustive list. No subs below were checked.

    5k+:

    r/AceAttorneyR34
    r/AltPussyWorld
    r/AngelinaMichelle
    r/AnimeMILFS_AI
    r/ankletporn
    r/ArtbonersGoneWild
    r/Artistic_Ecchi
    r/AustinHookup
    r/AussieCouples
    r/AussieDudes
    r/AussieMilfs
    r/AzurLaneEcchiHentai
    r/BaltimoreandDCr4r
    r/BDSMNot4Newbies
    r/beasissy
    r/bigsoftcock
    r/BimboHypno
    r/BlackGoddesses
    r/blackmale
    r/BleachedEdits
    r/BleachedFemboy
    r/bluelingerie
    r/Boob_Holes
    r/BreeDaniels
    r/BrOnlyFans
    r/bullypie
    r/ButtsInJeans
    r/CelebFapClub
    r/chastitysnook
    r/Cheetahfurs
    r/chubbypuss
    r/ChurchOfRikka
    r/CLTgonewild
    r/ComicPlot
    r/cultofthefranklin
    r/CuteTeasingGirls
    r/Cuteyiff
    r/CynthiaFucks
    r/daddybears
    r/DatV
    r/ddlb
    r/deerbutt
    r/DegreesOfLewdity
    r/DesiGoneWild
    r/DFWents
    r/dirtymitten
    r/DirtyWritingPrompts
    r/disturbingmovies
    r/DoeHoes
    r/doublebarrel
    r/DragonYiff
    r/embarrassedyiff
    r/eroticpenpals
    r/EscapistPorn
    r/escortclientsonly
    r/FeetTouching
    r/fitfurs
    r/FootWorship
    r/furrybdsm
    r/furrylingerie
    r/FutaSub
    r/gayknots
    r/gayyiff
    r/GenshinBondage
    r/gfdpersonals
    r/Gfurcomics
    r/girlsinhoods
    r/gonewanton
    r/gonewildpopping
    r/Grandpasgonewild
    r/Hayasaka_NSFW
    r/Hentai_DPs
    r/hentai_electricity
    r/Hentai_In_Peril
    r/HentaiBitchsuits
    r/HentaiEnslaved
    r/HentaiForniphilia
    r/hentailactation
    r/HentaiNipplePlay
    r/HentaiStraitjackets
    r/HighEndEscorts
    r/Inzestdoujinshi
    r/JeffreyDahmer
    r/KorraNSFW
    r/KrystalNSFW
    r/LadyBonersOver30
    r/landingstripnsfw
    r/LansingSex
    r/latexfetish
    r/leglocking
    r/londonr4r
    r/marriedsex
    r/MensSwimsuitChallenge
    r/MommyCock
    r/MSC_irl
    r/NicoletteSheaNew
    r/NoFansMild
    r/NSFWarframe
    r/OldDicks
    r/OnlyFans101Asstastic
    r/OnlyFans101BabyDolls
    r/OnlyFans101BadBitches
    r/OnlyFans101BustyBabes
    r/OnlyFans101Ebony
    r/OnlyFans101FitGirls
    r/OnlyFans101HotMomBods
    r/OnlyFans101Mouthfuls
    r/OnlyFans101TallGirls
    r/OnlyFansAPAC
    r/OnlyFansEasternEurope
    r/OnlyFansFaces
    r/OnlyFansFashionistas
    r/OnlyFansFootLovers
    r/OnlyFansJustRight
    r/OnlyFansNerdyGirls
    r/OnlyFansNeverNude
    r/OnlyFansRainbowHeads
    r/pussybukkake
    r/QohHentai
    r/r4rasian
    r/r4rfurry
    r/ReturnofPickOne
    r/Saltysgallery
    r/SanDiegoR4R
    r/ScaryBilbo
    r/SchoolSwimsuits
    r/SexManiac
    r/Sexyasmrgirls2
    r/Simulingus
    r/SissyHentaiBDSM
    r/SmallButts
    r/StomachDownFeetUp
    r/TenTenBestGirl
    r/Tinkerbang
    r/tinygirlslargeshirts
    r/TigerYiff
    r/TraaNSFW
    r/TribalYiff
    r/vegansgonewild
    r/wetspotguys
    r/wholesomemonstergirls
    r/WindowBeauty
    r/yiff_irl
    r/Yiffbondage
    r/yiffcrossdressing
    r/YiffgifsOnly

    5k and below:

    r/032r4r
    r/AAPWMOB
    r/ageingpunks
    r/AhMenOfCulture
    r/AITentai
    r/Amorous
    r/AudioPorn4Chixxx
    r/bakunyuu_hentai
    r/beautevil
    r/BellinghamExhibits
    r/bellyinflation
    r/Brassage
    r/CelebSizeQueensReturn
    r/ChurchOfAkane
    r/Church_Of_Porn
    r/crappyporn
    r/creampiemature
    r/cyberdildonics
    r/decensoredhentai
    r/emmapaisley
    r/EspeonNSFW
    r/Female_Yiff
    r/feralhogs
    r/FlareonNSFW
    r/Fluttershy_NSFW
    r/GauhatiGoneWild
    r/girlswearingastrapon
    r/GlaceonNSFW
    r/HentaiBondageGear
    r/HentaiSensDep
    r/HeterosexualYiff
    r/hifirushrule34
    r/HugeToys
    r/ironicallyiff
    r/JolteonNSFW
    r/JPMorgan
    r/kasumi
    r/Katty_West
    r/KinkFics
    r/LeafeonNSFW
    r/Meowscarada34
    r/MSC_yiff
    r/neutered
    r/newjerseyents
    r/nfws_
    r/NippleClampGirls
    r/nocra
    r/nocrapics
    r/NSFWmobilewallpapers
    r/OCPoetryCircleJerk
    r/PissCaptions
    r/PaigeNo
    r/Ranma34
    r/RealBDSM
    r/RockyEmerson
    r/SanskarGoneWild
    r/scamlinks
    r/selfsuckfur
    r/SquirtTutorial
    r/stackonmyrack
    r/StepfordHentai
    r/suckinginformation
    r/SylveonNSFW
    r/Teledildonics
    r/TheRangoonMother
    r/ThoseAlluringAliens
    r/UlmGonewild
    r/UmbreonNSFW
    r/VolcanoVaporiser
    r/WhitePantiesBlackHose
    r/whitetopsblack
    r/YouLube

    Handy link to contact the moderators of a subreddit (Reddit account required)

  • This instance isn't my jam but an instance like this should really have a team behind it. That is a lot to start but once it is set it becomes immensely easier. Consider it, but it also is respectable to pass it off. Good luck.

  • Thank you for all that you've done, it's very much appreciated. Don't feel bad about it, I totally understand why it's overwhelming. You couldn't pay me to run a server like this.

  • I think this is incredibly important, in some ways this instance in particular, but no one can ask for more from you

    Nothing to apologize for - you're not leaving everyone high and dry, you're hanging in there and working through what sounds like a personally difficult transition.

    So I'll just say this: thank you for taking the responsibility thrust on you with due seriousness. Most people don't understand the importance of community, and what we owe to it.

    When you hand it over, do it knowing your part is done, fully and completely.

    And if you need to step away, step away - do the exchange from a distance, and if things fall through and no one you trust is there to take it, that's okay too.

    I think there's a certain amount of responsibility when you find yourself at the center of something, but that responsibility only goes so far - if you need to step down and the community won't step up, that's not on you

  • Good luck with everything and thanks for starting this instance!

  • That’s why I’m thinking of transferring the instance and the domain to a person I trust. Who can maintain the deployments and also know this stuff.

    It's somewhat unclear if you're looking for someone, or you already have someone and just letting us know.

    • Adding my internal monologue here:

      • it would be a shame to close THE nsfw lemmy server, especially since it's so new and at the same time it got so much traction
      • however, because it got so much traction, the costs will rise quickly (both in terms of money and personal time invested)
      • to all you porn enjoyers (ie everyone), you can't expect this lemmy server to survive by its own - there is no company behind it to finance it, there are no investors, there are no ads
      • the only way this could work is if a lot of the people coming here would donate

      I have close to 20 years of IT experience, growing from a stupid dev to a stupid manager. One of my last positions was engineering manager for a Twitch clone, which had pretty small numbers of users - the most we saw was 10k concurrent users on a stream. I'm saying all this not to boost, but to convince you that I'm not pulling things out of my ass - costs can easily reach 5 figures monthly if the growth of this server continues.

      Now, if you have a phone or laptop, and the internet connection needed to visit this lemmy server, you do have spare change. If you could donate 12 dollars or euros PER YEAR, spread out in 12 equal payments of 1 dollar or euro per month, you would help immensely. Really. 1 moneys per month. You can afford it. You can be a fisherman in Uganda and still afford 1 dollar per month. You have enough coins thrown around in your car to make several months' payments. So do that now, go to Patreon and set-up a monthly payment of 1$, if you want to see this server still around a couple of years from now.

      @yay, if you do want to donate the server to someone, here's some ideas on how to make the server work and grow:

      • have a k8s setup (k3s on a couple of nodes works really well)
      • PostgreSQL HA (from Bitnami) on the cluster
      • separate storage box (or boxes, with CephFS or some other distributed filesystem)
      • another separate nsfw server for scat/gore/other weird shit so lemmynsfw doesn't get defederated
      • consider setting up a company to own all of this, in case of legal issues

  • ❤️ Best wishes man

    • As a heads up, I am more than willing to help with the front admin stuff, backend just isn't my expertise. If someone is willing to do the backend more I can do more front end stuff. I'm experienced with management of large communities and would be comfortable approaching some of the current pressing issues in a transparent way as well as opening up some discussions with other instance admins to try and address their concerns. I'm honestly just approaching things the same way I did when dealing with a large minecraft server. Horny adults are just grown up feral teenagers, I guess.

You've viewed 12 comments.