Are you cisgender? Gender Survey Result: Majority of active Hexbear users say No and Maybe.
Various thoughts:
Around 20 people weren't properly covered by the gender categories, obviously we're trying to be as inclusive as possible and a different approach will be tried next time
There were about 600 respondents, which gives us a accurate sampling of the active userbase. If you multiply any number by 3, you'll get a fairly accurate representation of the full userbase each week. This means there are around 800-900 people who don't identify fully as cis each week on this site.
Nearly 300 trans/gender diverse/questioning people unanimously agree that hexbear is an inclusive space
There was so much data on gender that I was really struggling to find a way to convey the data that wasnt a pie chart, graph, or an incomprehensible kalaeidoscope. If you have an idea on how to beautify the data, you can download the raw data here: https://pad.artemislena.eu/file/#/2/file/xzy4pck8on+oZp9yGRUIezR+/ - I further anonymized this data by removing time of response and any specific comments, I don't think it would be easy for anyone to figure out who is who.
There were a couple of text responses that really needed further elaboration, I noted hexbear's rules next to these comments
I'll probably be doing a demographics survey sometime in the future, including basic fairly anonymous stuff like "what region were you born in" "where do the languages you speak originate" "would you describe yourself as a POC" "what age range are you in".
The percentage of people answering they were cisgender increased by 8% than the previous survey. This could be for a myriad of reasons, such as cis people being afraid trans people will hunt them down in the public thread and assassinate them. Anonymity may have made them feel safer to respond. Regardless, way more people responded this time, which signifies that people felt safer responding to the cryptpad or it was easier to do. The leading question was a bit more inclusive than last time, but I think I'll include both questions (are you transgender / gender diverse and are you cisgender) to see how people respond.
We have a lot of people that aren't binary trans on this site.
Some of the questions were pretty funky and we got a lot of fuzzy responses on them as a result. In particular "After you realized you were trans/gender diverse, how long did it take for you to begin to act on it?" and "At what age did you begin transition?" caused a lot of friction, I think I will ask more vague questions in the future that lead to a path of more specific questions to capture better data, and to save people time. Questions like "Do you feel your gender transition had a defined starting point?" and some further ones.
Around 20 people each week on this site are cis she/hers, which is very low and roughly the same as last time. I feel like if hexbear ever starts hosting other federated stuff (like a federated tiktok or something) and can hook into it natively with lemmy, we'd see a better ratio.
I tried to be very sure any data with >2 people on it was clearly legible, I think some people might find it fun that there are others with their same fairly specific classifications per this survey lurking around on the site.
Overall I feel like the survey was a success despite some bumps.
Around 20 people each week on this site are cis she/hers, which is very low and roughly the same as last time
Yeah this has been very obvious.
Not too long ago there was a thread by a user complaining about his girlfriend telling him that “she doesn’t think of him as someone she would hook up with, but someone whom she’d like to marry” and all the he/hims came out in full force agreeing that a woman “who doesn’t think of her boyfriend as a mere sex toy but as an actual companion she’d like to spend the rest of her life with” was somehow an insult, not the highest compliment, to men.
That experience really made me realize that even misogyny incel shit does not escape an explicitly leftist forum, despite all the optics about being an ally to women and feminists. I agree with the other users on this thread who have commented that Hexbear has a serious misogyny problem that likely repels cis women from participating in this forum.
There was also that thread where the he/hims insist that nothing will happen to the cheating woman after OP told the male partner that she cheated with OP.
Jeez, I avoided that one like plague on principle. I've got too long of a history of being cheated on by femmes to have... Anything nice to say about the matter. Literally the only places where I'd give leeway there are in cases of $pick_an_abuse_type; but as far as I can tell at least, we have no way of knowing if that was the case from the outset of that post. The one thing I'll say is I don't think dude should've made a public thing of it because of what her husband could've done; he should've just... Cut her loose, deleted her number, and gone ghost.
I feel if OP was expected to play secret-keeper for someone's trysts to escape an abuser, she should've said something from jump so OP could consent to homewrecking, or (as I believe he should've done) stepped back from it. Communication will make or break a relationship, above-board or skullduggerous.
I recognize and acknowledge that my long string of exes who I had to cut out of my life for cheating might bias me against the matter, but I'm pretty sure if I stepped out on a partner, for any reason, I'd get pilloried for it; so I'm at a loss for why the energy isn't reciprocal in this case-- but I'm also not interested in verbally sparring with people who'd go to bat for a cheat unless we knew, ironclad, hard-and-fast, that they were escaping an abuser. I'm tryna break my ingrained habit of assuming the worst of men I've never met and will never know; and it actually kinda bugs me that more than half that thread seemed to have immediately assumed "oh he must be abusing her somehow" based on nothing but what seems to be Vibes.
I cannot speak for trans women since I am not trans. As I have quoted another user in another comment below, it’s possible that this site is very good at banning transphobes that trans women still prefer to hang out here in spite of the incel shit (again, this is merely my speculation since I cannot speak for them). But let’s not pretend like there is no serious misogyny problem on this site.
@AcidSmiley@hexbear.net below gave a better explanation than I could here, I was merely recounting one such recent example of the many that we’ve experienced here in general. Honestly that thread nearly made me quit this site, which is why I thought it appropriate to bring to attention.
There is something on here that actively repels cis women, and i gotta be honest here, it's probably you guys. Dudes on hexbear have a serious misogyny problem, i have never seen a thread about relationship issues etc. that wasn't full of incel shit, the dunks always get more vicious when they're directed at women, i honestly wouldn't spend any time here if the site wasn't at least good at banning transphobes. We need similar purges for misogynists, which, btw, is something that has been called for over and over again in the trans mega.
We need bait threads. Not only to lure out the worst offenders, but also to drive discussion that will reeducate everyone else. Purging isn't enough. There needs to be site discourse, so that when someone points out misogyny, enough other people will recognize that they're right to prevent a dogpile. Also people here need practice articulating why a comment is misogynistic, which will help with enforcement.
and all the he/hims came out in full force agreeing that a woman “who doesn’t think of her boyfriend as a mere sex toy but as an actual companion she’d like to spend the rest of her life with” was somehow an insult, not the highest compliment, to men.
I feel like this is a pretty uncharitable read of that thread but I don't care enough to trawl through old threads and will instead just make this comment