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chat @hexbear.net Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them] @hexbear.net 1 mo. ago

Love getting depressed randomly for no good reason

Wooooooo

Fucking aye.

Sometimes I feel like an alien on the wrong damn planet.

I don't get you humans at all.

It feels lonely sometimes.

14 comments

Staying up tonight because of depression but it's for a very clear reason
- shit sucks huh
  
  Stressed out about meeting my deadline for the mutual aid. It feels so close and looking at my calendar made me completely unable to sleep tonight.
  
  Meh, for what it's worth, every other time we've pulled through, they were hella clutchy.
  
  Thank you
I don't think people talk enough about how fucking alienating it is to be poor.

Like when you're with people and they talk about getting their first car at 16 or traveling overseas for their gap year or going out and doing things I could never afford to do. I've been in so many situations where I'm the only one that can't relate.

I feel like I've missed out on so much life because it all has a price tag.

And I know so many people would say it's my own fault. Like if I had just hustled and grinded more, worked harder, than I could have had a normal life too. Then I start believing that voice and thinking "I'm just not good enough, I'm not strong enough to compete in a kill or be killed world." Even though that way of thinking goes against everything I know to be logically true.
- could have written this myself ❤️
  
  worse than not having done any cool leisure experiences or traveled myself in decades is that my kid has never been on vacation, which makes me feel like a bad parent because I know he's going to end up having even more of these experiences you're describing than I have 😞 I can't prepare him for and save him from all bad feelings, but fuck do I wish I could
  
  and also wish I could take us both to the beach
  
  take us all to the beach ❤️ I wouldn't want to leave any of you behind.
- Or to be treated like an invalid for falling behind on these milestones. I have to suppress so much rage when somebody condescendingly congratulates me for only being able to buy a car in my 30s or tells me I am must be narrow minded because I don’t travel.
  
  Conservatives and libs still wonder who would want to repeat the terror of the first French Revolution when it achieved so little. Except for you know their burkean ptsd that brought us our meagre wins. Subject to geography of course.
Love self-sabotaging. If I could pull myself together to just finish a particular project, a lot of my problems would disappear.
- Mooood
They don't call it alienation for nothing
- <- Me
  
  Og damn can you spare a slice
more like being depressed all the time for good and obvious reasons but then also getting happy randomly for no good reason

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