title

Wait, you can like "hold" a door open? What, with your hand? I'm European and I've literally never heard about that. I thought slamming doors straight in other people's faces was a universal thing. Learn a new thing every day.

I kid, of course. But for real, what makes you think of door-holding as a uniquely American thing?

Nah lol it's awkward. I can open the door, it's helpful only if one party is carrying something that might make it difficult.

Looks like I’m at the forefront of this door holding debate. As a former back of house restaurant employee, I’d probably get fucking wrecked for my opinion on tipping.

You self-selected to provide for others. Expecting something in return is kind of a bad approach.

You are right and basic acknowledgement of you helping someone should be normal and good

I don't disagree but if you don't want people to smile or say thank you or look you in the eyes what do you want them to do? Grunt of acknowledgement?

I actually just replied to another comment about this, but I totally agree!!

Americans are so fucking rude. I hold open doors and hardly ever a damn thank you, much less getting doors held open for me. I usually just loudly say "You're welcome!" but they just ignore that too. Makes me never want to hold doors open to strangers again, but the spirit of my grandmother would be disappointed in me and I just can't help it at this point.

It used to make me irrationally angry as well, but at some point in the past few years I’ve tried to stop letting things that happen in public get to me. My expectations are so low and the effort I put out anymore is even lower. When I’m out and about in public I try my best to keep to myself and ignore anything that isn’t gonna directly affect me.

Maybe this is a selfish way to go about it, but it is what it is. Being courteous doesn’t really benefit me in public most of the time. I’m not an outright dick to total strangers, I just don’t try very hard to be overly friendly.

when i was in high school i had severe anxiety from repressed, untreated ADHD (which sometimes made it hard for me to control my tone of voice) that would make me overthink the fuck out of scenarios like this. my mind would race with how i should enunciate "thanks" the right way and wondering if my voice will seem shaky or nervous, and by the time i was ready it'd be too late lmao

I mean, why expect people to acknowledge something that they didn't request or need? Like, if they're holding an armfull of stuff, you help them with the door, and they don't acknowledge your help then yeah, you have a case. However, if they're just minding their business and you randomly open the door for them, then I think you're kinda being unreasonable to expect some kind of appreciation from someone when you don't know what their situation is.

Like, do you really expect some kind of report card on how good a boy/girl you were for holding open a door for some rando who might, for all you know, have a family member in the hospital, or be struggling to afford their bills, etc etc. If so, that lowkey makes you the Nice Guy asshole, expecting extra emotional labor from that person who really didn't ask for or even want that interaction with you.

Maybe it's a regional thing? Here in the Midwest, I always get an acknowledgement and a thank you for common courtesies like that

i get kind of flustered when people are holding doors and there's traffic going both ways i don't know who should go first so i'll cut through fast to remove myself, it probably seems dickish but i'm just trying to get out of the way

The people, they are finally tired of tip creep.

Door holding is where it's at now.

Look me and my friends don't have a lot of money, and I think it's fine we all pay our fair share when one of us hosts dinner, instead of fucking up one person's finances for the rest of the month.
I don't really get the apprehension some people have at that idea.