Would you drink this?

This sounds like malt liquor with better branding.

the way i would behave off of one of these. perish the thought

Yes, the only alcohol I wont drink is tequila.

Yes but only to reward them for applying a distressed effect to the type afterwards instead of using a font that has the effect baked in

I can and I have

no, but only because I don't like the taste of beer anymore – fruit tarts and seltzers only

I'm not a seltzer snob though; claws and trulys are totally fine with me

I used to loooooove high life & pbr

No. Only miller

I drink them pretty regularly.