Some people say thats it really unfair to say "JD Vance is a couch fucker". JD Vance never wrote in a book, "hey everyone, my name is JD Vance and I love to fuck couches", that's an unfair accusation based on no evidence.
For all we know its entirely possible that JD Vance took his time and made love to that couch. We gotta stick to the facts and be honest here people!
Yeah, he didn't fuck that couch. He cucked the couch by denying it the satisfaction of direct JD contact, deciding to instead fuck the latex glove he'd wedged inside of the couch instead. Regardless, his sweaty balls definitely slapped those cushions. Over. And over again.
“What separates the successful from the unsuccessful are the expectations that they had for their own lives. Yet the message of the right is increasingly: It’s not your fault that you’re a loser; it’s the fact that you fornicate with a couch.”
― J.D. Vance, Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis