Lately I've been fascinated by the speeches of Alan Watts. I have found them to be so helpful. I feel like I'm on the cusp of understanding something, but I'm not quite there yet. I've struggled with addiction for most of my life (food), and recently found out that Alan Watts, as wise as he was, also struggled with his own addiction (alcohol). I'm listening to one of his speeches now and this really stood out to me:

>Is it simply a vicious circle? I could ask why have you come here this afternoon. What were you looking for? Would it be too presumptuous of me to say that you were looking for help? That you hoped you would hear somebody who had something to say that would be of relevance to you as members of a world which is running into the most intense difficulty? A world beset by a complex of problems any one of which would be bad enough. But when you add together all the great political, social and ecological problems with which we are faced they are appalling.

>And one naturally says the reason why we are in such a mess is not simply that we have wrong systems for doing things, whether they be technological, political or religious. We have the wrong people. The systems may be all right, but they are in the wrong hands because we are all in various ways self-seeking, lacking in wisdom, lacking in courage, afraid of death, afraid of pain, unwilling to cooperate with others, unwilling to be open to others.

>And we all think that's too bad, it's me that's wrong. If only I could be the right person. Is this man going to tell me something that will help me to change myself so that I will be a more creative and cooperative member of the human race? There is the obvious difficulty that if I am in need of improvement, the person who is going to do the improving is the one who needs to be improved. There, immediately we have a vicious circle.

I have lived the vicious circle for most of my life. The advice following is to be the observer, take a step back to not get carried away by your own stream of consciousness. You can try asking for grace, but it may not work. If you're still seeking, spirituality will only be the new candy bar or drink you're seeking.

So if I'm understanding correctly, I must stop seeking. This would be fitting with Buddhist teachings. This is the point I've been stuck on for quite some time. I can't get past it. Because isn't all that's left beyond seeking... death? The end? How does human life persist past this point? I've had moments in my life where I've temporarily been able to let go, and I am never able to sustain it because I have to come back down to earth to live. To wear the human mask and take on all that entails.

>We aren't better because we want to be. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. All the do-gooders in the world--whether doing it for others or doing it for themselves--are troublemakers. Kindly let me help you or you'll drown, said the monkey putting the fish safely up a tree.

It makes perfect sense for helping others, but when I try to live a healthier lifestyle and be a better parent, how am I putting myself, the fish, up a tree? He says it's full of conceit, and that if I really knew what was best for me, that it would have happened by now. This part is depressing because it's basically stating that what is best for me is to have this struggle and to maybe go on and develop diabetes and die from it. But it feels bizarre and wrong for me to just accept something like that. Why live at all if you are just going to throw your hands up and say this is just how it is when things get hard?

It has become so tedious and repetitive. The older I get, the more death seems like a such a relief. So is that why I'm hastening it with compulsive bad habits? It feels like there's something more here, but I'm unable to comprehend what that is.

>How am I to get out of my own way?

Allāh is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp; the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly white star lit from the oil of a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allāh guides to His light whom He wills. And Allāh presents examples for the people, and Allāh is Knowing of all things.

I Was Ready to Tell

i was ready to tell the story of my life but the ripple of tears and the agony of my heart wouldn’t let me

i began to stutter saying a word here and there and all along i felt as tender as a crystal ready to be shattered

in this stormy sea we call life all the big ships come apart board by board

how can i survive riding a lonely little boat with no oars and no arms

my boat did finally break by the waves and i broke free as i tied myself to a single board

though the panic is gone i am now offended why should i be so helpless rising with one wave and falling with the next

Artist Steve Ellis and writer Fred Van Lente created this strip as a mini-comic for the 2000 Small Press Expo in Bethesda, Maryland.

Hello all,

So I thought I would share this here for anyone who may be seeking community. SBT is a virtual Sangha founded by Ven. Tenzin Tarpa, a monk in the Tibetan Gelug tradition, with the distinction of being nominally secular in their approach.

I am a member, though I don't meet with the group very much because of some baggage attached to my relationship with group practice, even a secular one (I'm an ex-Hare Krishna... suffice to say that damage was done).

Still, I am very much in support of their work, they have daily meditations and weekly classes, if someone here could benefit from that, I thought I would share.

Great explanation of this belief system. A deist is a person who believes that God designed and created the world and governs it through natural laws that are inherent in everything**___** The main understanding is that life comes from God and we are to use it as God intends, as illustrated in Jesus’ parables.

For anyone like me that has a more "cosmic consciousness" type of spirituality. This is (so far) my favorite adaptation of the original short story by Andy Weir.

Sri Krishna Govinda Hare Murare He Natha Narayana Vasudeva He Natha Narayana Vasudeva

Sri Krishna represents the pure Self, the center of Consciousness, the way to the Divine, Narayana. “Govinda” refers to Krishna as the loving protector of humanity. “Hare” indicates the removal of suffering; “Murare” denotes Krishna as the destroyer of demons within; “He Natha” means “O Master (Lord)”; and “Vasudeva” is the Supreme Being who permeates all.

This is an animated reading of a shorty story from Lesswrong That proposes a unique view on of a humanity's role in existence, and how we can find hope in a chaotic and cruel universe.

Such a fascinating story.