Not denied, no. But the librarian wasn’t quite sure what to do when I was checking out The Da Vinci Code at about 11 y/o. At the time I didn’t understand why she looked so surprised/concerned when she asked whether it was for my mom and I said no, but I kind of see her point now. Then again, 11 y/o me loved it.

From my experience with people that are very pro Android vs the pro iOS crowd, it’s just that they’re trying to justify their own choice by uplifting the OS they chose and sometimes tend to focus only on the negatives of the other OS. The same can be said for the various desktop OS crowds.

I’ve used both Android and iOS, as well as Windows and MacOS (and intend to try Linux at some point) over the years and I never thought one was generally better than the other. All these OSs have different target users and that’s ok. Just because you’re not the target user for OS A, doesn’t mean that OS B is objectively the best OS for everyone. It’s just the best OS for you. And why people feel the need to bash other people’s choices or even make fun of them for it is beyond me.

I understand where you're coming from (although I can't say I had the same things to deal with, anywho, I sympathize). Sometimes it feels like we're being lived rather than that we're living our own lives.

Things that make me feel alive are activities that pull me out of the 'grind' and make me focus on the here and now. It could be reading a book under a tree, longboarding too when I still did that, going for a nice walk in the forest or on the beach, petting one of the local cats, a picnic with a friend, ice skating, exploring a new city on my own, etc. Basically anything outside or somewhat physically active. Sometimes yoga or playing guitar can do the same thing for me. The most important part is that I can get lost in the activity and can allow myself to get distracted when I see a nice mushroom/leaf/bee/cat/whatever. It's all about slowing down.

I suppose it's different for everyone, but an example of a day where I felt truly happy and free went like this: I went for a drive just because and came across a forest I'd never been to before. I was in no rush, so I parked my car, got out and went on a lovely walk there. I even ended up seeing a couple of deer. Then I got myself something to eat and went to see a movie (Nope) on my own. The only company I had was a stuffed animal I brought along because I like cuddling up with blankets and plushies while watching films and I figured it'd be dark in the cinema anyway. I did nothing of note and spent the entire day alone, and yet, happy as I could be.

Part of it might be about not giving a fuck about what others think. I've been on a vacation alone, been to restaurants alone, been to the movies alone, and to a concert alone. Not because I had to go alone, but because I could. Some people might've looked at me weird, but I enjoyed myself tremendously all the same. In the case of the vacation I even got treated like a local rather than a tourist, which gave me an entirely different perspective during the trip.

Anyway, I'm rambling, but I'm glad to hear you found another career you enjoy and that you're trying new things. Keep it up :)