Joined in club activities that I haven't been to in a few months. Not out there, but also not hiding anything. Got a lot of "I thought some new girl had joined at first, but it was only you!" comments :3 (This is a 95% male club, so I guess they noticed something!)
I'm taking that as a win. I wonder what they'll say this time next year?
Hehe. I'd figured out that not every guy wanted to be a girl pretty early -- that's probably one of the reasons I was repressing so hard. But when I found out that actual trans people didn't always know, and you could just... be trans if you wanted, that broke my brain :3
I think it's OK to be selfish, so long as that means prioritizing self-interest over that of others, rather than being greedy at others' expense. And transitioning does not cost anybody else anything: you don't owe it to anyone to be anything other than yourself.
After all, nobody is going to look out for your well-being as diligently as you yourself.
... TWO months HRT (ah, ah, ah) ...
So I got my GID diagnosis at last! I'm now certified Trans, for what it's worth. Switching from DIY to prescription injections next week, yay ~
Plus a surprising (welcome) result in the Japanese election. Hope for marriage equality in the near future?
Well, hopefully nobody, but it implies revolution: which again requires quite a bit of social organization but is something that does still happen around the world.
Now, whenever this topic comes up the standard objection is that a group of private citizens couldn't beat, say, the US military, but that's not the point: you need to overthrow the government. If the military supports you (unlikely) or refuses to get involved (possible), this is a much more realistic proposition.
Sure! As the saying goes: soap box, ballot box, ammo box -- in that order. But it's hard work. The crazies are motivated, so we must be too.
Talk to people. Show them that trans people are not demons (most of the time). Make friends. Let them know that these laws hurt you and people like you. Get involved in the community. Contact your elected representative in government. Often. Get other people to do so too. Join or support an activist organization. Get involved in politics. Run for office. Vote! And make sure others do too.
Failing that, emigrate :3
The final print volume of the manga is out, and I guess this will be the plot of the movie, so spoiler alert!
Is Makoto trans? IMHO, it doesn't matter, and that's the point. This is a really trans- and (queer-) positive story.
Aside from the obvious themes of trans presentation and queer romance (whether Makoto is trans or not then at least one of Ryuji and Saki ain't straight!), there is a very strong message of self-acceptance.
Makoto's grandfather's arc teaches us to accept ourselves, even at the potential cost of estranging our family (and although it isn't shown, it's pretty clear that the path is open for reconciliation with Makoto's mother). There's a great line from the neighbor too after doing Makoto's makeup: you decide whether it suits you!
The Ryuji/Saki + Makoto romance line is all about how there are people who will appreciate you for your true self, and you don't have to lose your friends.
Saki in particular struggles with what it means to find someone "special", and who she should live with: in the end she realizes you can just decide it for yourself! And also comes to understand that while her parents maybe fit the socially-expected role, it's the people that actually care for and are there for her (her grandmother and Makoto) that are important.
And then there's "I just want to live as me" Makoto. Maybe a femboy; maybe a trans girl; certainly exploring. This of course echoes that "but am I really trans" self-doubt, and the answer is: it doesn't matter! It's up to you! Just be yourself (can't be anyone else!). Makoto recognizes himself in his grandfather, and turns there for advice in the end. By the end of the story, all the characters are living more true to themselves, and are happier for it.
Plus seeing Makoto's hair gradually growing out hit me right in the feels 🥲
PS I only realized recently than Pom is also the creator of trans meme icon Kurumi-chan! (Menhera-chan) I hope we see more from this author in the future.
Ah, that sounds like a weird translation then. Looking at the manga (I think the line in the anime was similar), Makoto says:
僕は僕のままで生きたい
男の子だけど女の子みたいなものが好きで
That is, "I want to live as me. I'm a boy but I like girly things."
OTOH, as you say the reaction to being perceived as a girl (and trying to pass as one at school) is pretty telling. But egg prime directive, and all that.
Yeah, not talking too much is often a good plan if you want to keep things simple :)
Plus, stuff like nail art of course isn't exclusively feminine. If I go out with (very) light makeup, in women's jeans and painted nails, internally I'll be overflowing with girl stuff euphoria, but to everyone else I'm just some dude. Since my body shape, face and hair aren't remotely feminine (yet!), there's not really much to code "woman". I think I'd have to wear a dress and full-on eyeliner for anyone to notice.
Good advice.
Painting my nails was the first remotely fem-presenting thing I did (other than shaving!). Very few people even noticed. One of the people I work with, after I came out, said I just looked a bit more stylish than usual. The biggest response I got was paying at my local where the owner knows me well -- "oh, you've painted your nails" / "yup". And that was it.
Having said that, I don't have nearly enough courage to go to a salon or anything yet! Let us know how it goes!
Sorry, maybe it was a bit too obscure! It's a meme about feminizing voice training.
First panel is Frieren; she has a fairly deep voice (for anime at least) but obviously feminine. Should be achievable, and I'd be really happy if I could sound anywhere close to that (although maybe a bit less breathy).
Second panel is Makoto from Sempai is an Otokonoko - the scene where he's(*) standing in front of a blackboard after being outed. His voice is quite soft and high, but sounds like a boy (in-universe he can pass) -- which is kind of where I'm at most of the time.
I'm talking about the Japanese voice acting, btw. I assume the dubs use similar voices.
(*) There's apparently some debate over this, but since Makoto rejects wanting to be a girl and explicitly says "I'm a guy", I'm going to assume femboy rather than trans girl.
Oh, and prosody, vocab, going slower, and being more empathetic. Talking like a girl is hard.
I mean it's not bad, but I still got that husky clocky thing going on. Still need to dial in the sharpness, get more consistent, and find the confidence to go all-in.
Neither in nor from the US, and I'm worried...
Definitely vote, if you're able to!
Sitting in my underwear, torturing myself with my new toy, I thought: "What I'm doing now is pretty fucking girly. I love it."
I can make all the sounds, but maintaining a feminine tone is still pretty hit-or-miss. Since I spend all day at work talking to my team online, I figured it would be good to use that time for voice practice. (I'm already out, so hopefully they won't think I'm going insane)
I've been slowly pushing the pitch up over the past few weeks to avoid straining, and with a pitch tracker going it looks like I'm sitting at around 150 Hz right now (for reference I usually aim for 200 Hz when training, which I can comfortably manage for short periods). Not quite target pitch, but at least I'm not dropping out of the androgynous range too often. End-of-day huskiness is slowly getting better but my resonance is all over the place.
Anyway, how do you all get your practice hours in? Any fun anecdotes? I'm still in awe of all the trans women on Youtube with perfectly passable voices.
Hello, everyone. Hopefully I'm not doxxing myself too badly if I reveal that I live in Japan, which is not a great place for trans healthcare.
The standards of care here are still from the stone age, and date from a prosecution under Japan's widely reviled eugenics laws (fortunately repealed in... 1996). Yes, that's right: the guidelines themselves state they're to protect medical practitioners.
The key requirement is to jump through enough hoops to convince your doctor that you really do know what you want, and then do it all again with another doctor, just in case the first one was biased towards the patient. The hoops include, potentially, genital exams, karotypes, interviews with family and coworkers, and RLE. There's no set timeframe, but six months to a year seems to be the standard. Only then can you access any gender-affirming care, including HRT.
Now fortunately there is a loophole. Any treatment started outside the scope of the guidelines can be taken over by the evaluating doctor concurrent with the inquisition. And, as it happens, I'm not personally bound to follow anything.
So, with the sound of a month's supply of my new favorite hormones in convenient gel form hitting the mailbox, I'm ready to start DIY! Hopefully my doctor (who I'm due to see for the first time in October) will be cooperative. From the sound of it a lot of people are using the same trick...
> If you want to be a girl, you are one.
It took me a while to understand what people meant by that (or maybe I just couldn't accept it?). The difference between "I'm a girl and I like it", and "I want to be a girl" is simply one of perspective.
So it's almost exactly two weeks since my first session. I went to one of the high-power places that needs a medical license (at least in this country), but my somewhat light-colored hair and total lack of pain during the procedure made me really worried. The first week or so showed no progress, the hair seemed to be growing as normal. Then it got a bit thinner, or maybe I was imagining it?
But no, just today, it's been a whole day and almost no stubble or shadow! About 80% has just vanished (most of what remains is on my upper lip and beneath the jaw). I realize that the dormant follicles and so on are going to wake up soon, but I've still got several sessions to go.
So if you've just started and had the same worries as me, really: wait two weeks!
I am unreasonably excited about this. Sorry, past self who waited so long for his beard to come in: you don't need to worry about trying to look masc any more!
(Happiness to despair)
- Dressing fem feels so good!
- Everything that fits is in the wash.
- Guess it's boymode today
- I can't even just no
---
So I seem to have gone from "this plain T-shirt is secretly from the women's section, nobody will notice!" to "goddammit I'm dressing like a man I feel so ridiculous" without realizing. Um.
Happy ending, though: I forgot to unpack the skater skirt and stripy socks from my Trans Starter Pack™. Very un-stylish but who cares!
It's super cute, but not so feminine as to contrast my face.
It hides the bits that stick out where I don't want them to.
It fakes the bits that don't stick out where I do want them to.
It's comfortable. It's (a little bit) spinny.
I'm never taking it off! That is all.
Crying Menhera-chan
Top caption: Called the clinic to book pre-HRT counselling
Bottom caption: What if I'm not trans enough for them to give me hormones
PS Image uploads still broken :(
I was going to make this a meme, but image uploads are broken.
So after spending way too much money and buying All The Things on Amazon, I've noticed a pattern.
- Browse clothes
- "Oooh, that's pretty!"
- Check size
- Shucks, too small
- Buy it anyway
So I've spent the last few decades with very short hair. It's naturally quite wavy, and now I've started growing it out, it's sticking out in all directions and looks a total mess, particularly around the ears. What do?
I know what shampoo and conditioner are, and I think I have a comb somewhere. Can anybody point to some good absolute-beginner tutorials, or give advice? I'm sure someone's been through the same thing...
Galaxy brain meme
- I wish I was [gender], but I'm cis
- Just experimenting, still cis though
- Post-transition gender same as identified gender, definitely cis
I tried to put some feelings down in words. It's a bit dark; I hope that's OK.
---
A ship sailed over waters deep Beneath a graying sky; A sightless pilot at the helm Dreaming of distant shores.
The clouds rolled in, the waves grew tall, Yet onward pushed the boat; What else to do for a lonely crew Who knows no other home.
Insidious breakers beat the prow, The sailor's grip grew tighter. Far away from an unknown port The ship began to founder.
To stay with these worthless timbered bones, A barnacled prison cell, Would bring an end to a pointless voyage, And beautiful dreams as well.
One step, so small, into the dark, Leave the ship to the ocean grim. It matters not what the morning brings For I was born to swim.
Ex-egg. Turns out wishing you were a girl does work.