I banned my daughter from using the iPhone she bought. It made her a better person | Em Rio
I banned my daughter from using the iPhone she bought. It made her a better person | Em Rio
I set expectations when she saved up and got the phone – little did I know it would undermine them, and her mental health
I think its not just kids anymore, it's adults too. Everyone is glued to their screens these days. But kids are more vulnerable to influences from "social" media and don't have any defences to the psychological warfare going on. Of course they feel like shit.
she bought
Asshole move, regardless of intentions
I kind of agree. That's why I don't let my kids buy stuff like that. My kid said he wanted to buy a phone, and when I told him it would be subject to our same computer policy (<2hrs/day, they earn time by reading, etc), he suddenly wasn't as interested.
But yes, if you create a bunch of new rules after they buy something, you're a dick. Let them know what the rules will be before they save up for it.
Read the article. Her mom agreed to it, and they set rules. It's after that that it went bad.
The child from the article got the phone in sixth grade. If she bought a large bag of candy with her own money is it right to let her eat as much as she wants without boundaries?
Setting healthy boundaries and discipline at a young age is a good move. From how she was behaving with the phone I would have done the same.
And if she bought crack with her own money, she should be free to use that, too.
Yes
a better person
More like a better liar.
How to make frustrated and untrusting children 101. I am sick of this authoritative parenting bullshit
you didn't read the article did you? You just read the headline and made an angry comment didn't you
That's the social media effect. People don't bother reading anything that's more than 150 characters these days.
This smells like one of those fake clickbait stories...
More like ragebait.
Don't think so. Havent you met kids feeling shit because of social media? It's everywhere.
Meanwhile my kids and all their classmates seem friendlier and more mentally healthier than I remember school age being. It's all anecdotal. I'm always surprised at certain ages how some of these kids don't allow bullying, and aren't concerned with stupid relationship shit that I remember 20-30 years ago. It's interesting.
I also know shitloads of adults depressed from Doom scrolling all day.
Your gross generalizations aren't reality.
I've only seen kids feeling like shit because of social media, myself
I also wonder how many parents take phones from their kids but also turn around and post their whole lives on facebook.
I feel sorry for all the kids who grow up their entire lives under the influence of social media. There has to be a stronger effort to shield children from these platforms and it definitely starts from the parents. Especially with these "iPad" kids--just glued to their screens all day! What would the attention spans of this generation in the future be like?
I feel like a better approach would be to work on making social media a better place. It doesn't have to be an attention span hell, and it can be a nice toolfor socializing.
People don't even take it seriously it seems.
He says, on social media
It’s our generation’s cigarettes.
“I don’t know, everyone was just doing it” is what we’ll say and what prior generations have said about smoking everywhere all of the time.
The stimulation from and addiction to nicotine or social dopamine … it’s the same shit. The weird marketing, branding and business capture big tech has now could look just like the marketing and wealth of cigarettes in the past.
It's worth noting that cigarettes are physically addictive and cause cancer.
So no. phones =/= cigarettes. It's embarrassing that I have to say this.
Gambling is not physically addictive, but for its worst addicts it's as ruinous as cigarettes.
Social media is similar in that the dependence is psychological, and the harm caused can vary from basically none, to tremendous psychological and material damage (up to and including suicide as a result of self-esteem, bullying or body issues).
I would agree that it's our generation's cigarettes simply because it's ubiquitous and the impact on both health and society is unquestioned by the masses. It simply is. We don't smoke on a plane anymore because we don't want to give everyone cancer, but we don't take the same precautions to protect unconsenting individuals, like children, from becoming mush-brained iPad babies manipulated by the TikTok and YouTube algorithms.
Let's not forget that social media, Facebook to be specific, is blamed for fanning the flames of multiple ethnic conflicts in Asia and Africa that have ended in genocide. It's likely that cigarettes do more harm to the individual user, but social media does more harm to society. This is something we will have to reckon with in the future, and once we establish sensible controls and norms we'll wonder how we lived like this for so long.
So set fucking limits on the phone? Is 'all or nothing' somehow the only option? It's not hard to set time limits, restrict apps, and generally be involved in your kids lives to help them understand and learn moderation and healthy recognition of bad habits forming. Simply taking shit away also doesn't help cause there's no opportunity to make mistakes and learn. Where's the fucking middle ground?
Also...
Everyone is glued to their screens these days.
What a boomer comment.
It's not a simple story of just taking away the phone.
I discovered she'd circumvented the screen limits and had been using social media into the wee hours of the morning.
And later, after she did take the phone away, she found her daughter had kept all old phone that was supposedly sold.
It does seem to be a pretty extreme case, but there was lots going on here.
the first generation of 10-to-14-year-olds active on social media. For these girls, suicide rates have risen 151%, self-harm 182%.
Citations needed. Even if there's a legit study (unlikely), correlation =/= causation.
I recently met a woman who seized her 11-year-old son’s phone when she discovered he was sexting
Why give a phone to an 11 year old in the first place? These people are solving problems that they themselves created, then blaming phones.
The child from the article is in sixth grade. If she bought a large bag of candy with her own money is it right to let her eat as much as she wants without boundaries?
Setting healthy boundaries and discipline at a young age is a good move. From how she was behaving with the phone I would have done the same.
ITT: people without kids projecting their childhood trauma
Lwmmy, in a nutshell