Have you considered volunteering? Show yourself as willing to work just for the sake of it, and you'll probably find at least one person there who can provide a reference for you.
Also, having your own job might not be enough for complete self-sufficiency, but don't discount the feeling of being useful and worthwhile that having a job gives you. A job shouldn't be a prerequisite for that, but as things currently are, it does help.
The fact that you actually want to improve yourself and earn your own way means a lot. Don't sell yourself short.
volunteer work could be a good start, doing something positive in the world might help with my confidence and people skills. though I'm in a suburban area so it might be hard to justify spending money on gas to work without pay
I probably wouldn't ask, I think it's enough that they let me live here and have me on their phone plan for free, so I don't ask them for cash. they aren't exactly wealthy, though they've got boomer privilege and own a home, they are retired working-class people
okay. let me just convey, i mean to come to you with compassion:
asking your parents to borrow a car, or for gas money, so you can start taking the steps to move on with your life and out of their house, wouldn't be a imposition, it would be a gift. if you're serious about making things easier on your parents (financially, psychically), then it's time to take some responsibility and swallow your pride, and make some moves (easier said than done! surely! but it's within your control and you're stronger than you know).
I do have access to a car and still have some money of my own, so I don't need to ask for cash just yet. It's hard to justify spending it without any income, though tbh running out of funds might help light a fire under my ass lol. but yeah, I do need to start making some moves before it gets too dire