Butter efficiency

If there's a stick of butter on the table, an ear of corn will get rolled right across the top. How's that for efficiency? 😆

That’s just how’s it’s supposed to be done.
- Well yeah, but oddly some people are offended by it. Like, do you not know how to eat sweet corn?
When I was doing farm work, the Mennonite colony nearby who provided meals had a vertical butter contraption for cobs of corn. You just stick it in, rub it around and presto, perfectly buttered corn.
- Interesting, I've never seen something like that!

I’ve never heard anyone say “on people” instead of “about people”? Is it an Albany expression?

Probably made by a non-native English speaker. Prepositions are so unique to each language and oftentimes seemingly randomly chosen (is that à, de, sur, or no preposition at all, French?). If you roughly know a one-to-one translation of the prepositions from your language into English, you can often get it wrong just like this.
- En France, Au Canada, À New-York, Aux Seychelles, À Cuba.
  Don't try to find a logic, there literally is none and anyone who tells you otherwise is just retrofitting rules to chaotic data and will inevitably have a list of exceptions longer than a French politician's criminal record. Half of it is literally just "what was grammatically fashionable at the time this toponym was discovered/imported/created".
  This does not excuse English's abuse of prepositions though. Why do I get on the bus but in the car? Why, English?

I don't care how the butter is cut as long as its free of breadcrumbs.

My mom has her shit together.

The woman will fork the butter. I'll walk into the kitchen and see a perfect stick of butter, with the ends clearly carved into with a fork.

I think the lesson I took from it is; it doesn't matter what the tool is supposed to be used for as long as the job gets done.

My wife slices straight through the wax paper every time. I call her a monster, she claims it saves time.

If you use a substatial portion of the butter (1/4th) this is the correct behavior.
But doesn't she have to then remove the paper from the slice? Wouldn't that take more time if she ends up taking several?

Roll your corn on top

Relies too much on the word "shit" to try and get a laugh.

I break my butter sticks in half with my bare hands, fight me.

I don't eat butter

Are you the dude that attempted putting butter in their butt except that it was salted butter and thus ruined the whole experience..?
- The fuck?