Bit shite innit

Grey as a mouse,

Big as a house,

Nose like a snake,

I make the earth shake,

As I tramp through the grass;

Trees crack as I pass.

With horns in my mouth

I walk in the South,

Flapping big ears.

Beyond count of years

I stump round and round,

Never lie on the ground,

Not even to die.

Oliphaunt am I,

Biggest of all,

Huge, old, and tall.

If ever you'd meet me

You wouldn't forget me.

If you never do,

You won't think I'm true;

But old Oliphaunt am I,

And I never lie.

A good time to go to the pub, have a point, and Wait for this to all blow over.

There are two accounts of Greek historians describing the usage of war elephants in Britain by the Roman empire. Cassius Dio says that Claudius used them in 43 CE, and Polyaenus says that Julius Caesar did in 54 BCE. These accounts are both very brief and have not been backed uo by any physical evidence or other accounts of the same situation. Not even Caesar, a prolific author himself, says that he used elephants in Britain

It would be fucking wild if it did happen though. That elephant would have travelled farther than nearly any human alive at the time