What does the fear of being judged by others hold you back from doing that you would otherwise do?
What does the fear of being judged by others hold you back from doing that you would otherwise do?
To be fair I still do these things but only when I'm alone.
Personally I love finding big puddles and then dig drains with a stick or my heel and watch the water flow.
Also love to throw a piece of wood into water and then toss stones high up in the air and try hit it imagining it's a warship I'm trying to bomb.
Then also without going into details there are some pieces of clothing I would like to wear but don't because they're considered femine or gay.
I do whatever the fuck I want, unless it is unpolite or could hurt somebody's freedom.
I learnt that, as I don't give a shit about what people are doing, they must also don't give a shit either. People just care about themselves most of the time. The day I realized that, I had a strong freedom feeling.
Having kids multiplied this attitude by 1000 and actually, I see people smiling and interacting with us while we're fooling around.
GO PLAY WITH FUCKING PUDDLES WEARING PINK PANTIES ON YOUR HEAD MY DUDE ! I might join you.
Because when I do what I want, I get called a "retard" or asked "what the fuck are you doing?" by the people around me. I make a point to try to do things quietly (stopping to observe a cool bug, making chalk drawings on the sidewalk, saying "wheee!" on the swings, etc.), but it really doesn't matter.
I've caught glimpses of people filming me before, so I now only do what I want in privacy.
Also doesn't help that I've been accused of "doing it for attention." Nah, my dude, pretty sure I'm just fckin' autistic.
I only want people to leave me alone now. I don't like having to justify my actions when I'm just trying to enjoy myself.
I've always been such a child at heart and my soul is bursting with whimsical energy when I see kids playing pretend at the playground next to where I walk my dogs. I'd love to play pretend with them, encourage the children to really let their imaginations run wild and free. I was often lost in my own world as child. I know what it's like to be so consumed by it. I want to fight the robot king, too!
I'm an adult male however. I would definitely look like a child predator, so I must go on my way.
In my past I used to take on janitorial or maintenance jobs, but the grossness of the job combined with the attitude of the general public just made it unbearable. People would ask me if I was a citizen and when I said yes, they'd tell me that it's a job for immigrants. They'd also say that it's a job for slaves and ask if I felt like a slave doing that kind of work.
Wear a mask wherever I go. Not so much because for health reasons, but because I like to hide my face. I feel more comfortable that way, but at the same time people stare at you like you're some kind of terrorist.
I prefer to wear scarves or other items that hide my face below my eyes.not much these days. ever since I realised people will judge you even if you don't do anything. e.g. I used to be shy because i was worried about what they'd think of me when i spoke. this caused them to think I'm shy. so I made a decision that I'd rather have people judge me for who I am rather than for someone I'm not.
Sounds like you're still a kid at heart. I've got a 2yr old and I immensely enjoy playing these sorts of games with him. My wife always jokes that I'm using the sandbox more than him, she even snapped a couple of pics of me playing alone in there.
What kind of clothes are you talking about? A skirt on a man is still pretty courageous, but if you're talking about a pink shirt just go for it. You'll not be judged.
Wear a fanny pack/carry a non-backpack bag as a man.
It's so convenient to have a bag full of stuff on you. Like I'm out and have a headache, boom Aspirin. At dinner and got some food in your teeth, bam flosser. It's very satisfying when a situation comes up and you have the exact thing to solve a problem right there in your bag. But a backpack is too big and bulky and anything smaller becomes a purse and this looks down upon for a man to carry.
I only get the courage to wear it when on a trip where I can overly justify it. Like hiking, or a theme park or convention. I feel like if it was an everyday thing I'd have to explain it or hear about it more than I'd want to.
I'm so scared to be seen, that I can't even go for a walk. I also want to get skateboard, but I can't for the same reason. I'm terrified to be seen alone, or just seen in general.
Yet despite this, somehow I'm the opposite of that and manage a bunch of girls with compete confidence when I'm at work. I also have to deal with a ton of customers and don't even hesitate to say no or let them have negative judgement to me. I'm very socially competent and meet new people all the time without fear of rejection and opening up. I definitely stand out, in a good way.
Yet I'm scared of them simply watching me going for a walk outside??
There's loads of little daft hobbies I either don't do at all or hide. I went magnet fishing with a friend once, we found some cool jewellery that I still have and it was fun, so I went home and bought my own kit, I've never been though cause I don't want to be that person doing it alone, or to actually ask anyone to come. Just lives in a box.
Practicing DJing. Neither my wife nor daughter are into their quality house music (neither am I, they would argue... 😀) and we have elderly neighbours, so I find it hard to find time to make a real effort to practice, and get self-conscious and disheartened pretty quickly.
My setup is in our living room area, so it's not very convenient when people are doing just about anything downstairs. Would love to have a bit more space to make mistakes and make a noise without it bothering others.
I'd still be crap at it right enough... ;-)
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Bone gnawing for me. And I genuinely mean that, I find gnawing on a piece of bone insanely calming for me, but it makes literally everyone I talk to insanely uncomfortable. I love gnawing on bbq ribs, chicken wing bones, pork chop bones, T bones. I love bone marrow and trying to dig for it. Family says it's bad etiquette, though my partner doesn't mind.
I'd be more comfortable with physical contact. I'm NB, but most people still perceive me and treat me as a man (even though I've said many times that I'm not) and that comes with the stigma of keeping distance.
I also love to play with LEGOs, it's kind of therapeutical I guess. It's just me, talking about random things. It's the same with videogames, I mostly play RPGs, but it isn't as "weird".
BTW, while I'm non-binary, I'm still involved in man's problems because I live them for my appearence. I also help some male friends with their problems with masculininty and feminism, so they don't end up being redpilled alpha sigma males lol
Singing
I have an imp on my shoulder, lot of intrusive thoughts that are only funny to me. I pretend not to have them, and I'd rather just share whatever dog shit pops into my head. But I'm afraid I'd be committed.
I don't pick my nose or fart in public. I don't lick a plate or use the finger to scoop what's on it if I'm in company. I also don't phase out and daydream half as much in public, an exception would be on public transport as everyone is kind of gazing at nothing so it's not obvious I'm in another dimension entirely.
As for other things, no, I don't have that kind of filter. I will occasionally stop and stare at that interesting pattern on a tile or leaf, follow closely with attention what the birds are doing, sniff if I sense an animal and see if I can find its trail (possums and rats usually) etc. I still build sandcastles at the beach and if the opportunity arises I'll scribble on cardboard coasters or paper napkins.
Probably make videos of interesting things I do. Sometimes I do something and think this is the kind of stuff I watch on YouTube.
Thinking out loud
Travel the Caribbean & document my travels & the cultures & concerns of the people I meet with my own eyes
Why not? Well, I'm an actual idiot in reading social situations, Knowing who to trust, inferring details, attempting any meaningful level of reading comprehension on the spot, avoiding the urge to hyper focus on random stuff (makes people uncomfortable sometimes), trying to be humourous in terms of wordplay, and nowadays just avoiding social exhaustion.
Now with all that, imagine the amount of judgement & talking down to I've gotten just entering into social events or even bars.
A trip to the Caribbean to understand people?
Not happening lmao!!!
To those of you who can, you're all blessed.
Nothing. I truly do not give a fuck anymore.
The key is to accept there will be social consequences and to ignore them. Once people see the consequences they impose do not affect you, especially after they escalate which they will do at first, they'll stop and accept your behavior.
Arm bands. I probably read or watched too much fantasy as a kid. For a while I braided leather arm bands and wore them. Mostly they were covered by whatever I was wearing. Then all the Brohs started getting arm band tattoos and it killed it for me. I recently said fuck it, and have a pounded metal arm band and I love it!
ITT: People who want to cross-dress and relive their childhood. I heartily approve of all of it.
Anything criminal.
Really don't need to be judged for that stuff.
Getting onto HRPT. I'd need to get to a field with unobstructed view of sky. Now imagine walking through the city with an 80cm satellite dish.
People stare weirdly even if I am just standing in middle of soccer field for 15 minutes with a V-Dipole to receive APT/LRPT.
Speaking of APT, theoretically I have beautiful pass of NOAA-18 in a little over an hour. (Edit: Got that one: https://lemmy.sdf.org/post/2767357)
Hmmm...Crime, I don't like being judged as guilty.
Don't worry about what people think about you. They're too worried about what you think about them.
Where do I start with this one? I have so much to circumventing I would have to do if I want to be myself, and that's not really anyone's fault either (so nothing with a solution). The last thing you mentioned is a fairly good example, I'm locked in certain aesthetics. I can't unpack myself in someone's presence much of the time. I can't communicate without fear of messing up. I can't hypothetically hone certain things I arguably should've honed. I could list these things. I do try going against this pattern and only a few things worked out.
I mean, generally I don’t let that stop me from doing what I want to do.
But I drink a lot, so that’s probably why I don’t care as much.
Function.
But it's not so much the fear of judgement, but the fear of the absurdly unjust punishment people will level on me for even the most innocuous action, because they just love abusing people.
Are we including juries?
Doing crime.
Wearing my comfy lil shorts 😩 I got a big ass and u kno
Approach any woman. Toxic feminism and selective acceptance of "patriarchal" elements and roles by women makes me keep distance. As a cis het man, I am scared of false accusations, especially since I am an INTJ introvert.
Women should learn to take the first step and approach men for dates, and become humble as a gender group, if they want to have the power. Not doing so only means that they want exclusively the benefits of "patriarchal gender roles" without dealing with negatives.