I strongly recommend getting a house where you can walk out your door and walk somewhere without feeling unsafe because the road immediately outside your house is dangerous if you aren’t in a car and have the destination you are walking be a pleasant environment to be a pedestrian (i.e. not endless stroads).
The impact on your health, especially if you can win the lottery and get a job within walking distance, cannot be measured easily and most people vastly underestimate the savings and quality of life impact from not having to drive everywhere for everything.
When I lived in the boonies I had a house like that. It was on a windy mountain road that was rarely traveled except on Sundays when people would drive their classic cars around. I could sit there with a beer after mowing my lawn and have my own private parade, and walk the couple miles into town no problem.
For work I just had to walk down the hall because shipping my brain through meatspace to push buttons in a different place is stupid.
Honestly, that sounds like a great lifestyle fit for you, but for many people there is a huge risk in that lifestyle in becoming extremely isolated from other people and not feeling like there is an easy way to escape that isolation.
A couple of mile walk into town is not the kind of thing someone who is feeling down but wants to maybe meet people is going to do unless the bicycling infrastructure is pleasant and easy to use. It also leaves you heavily dependent on having a healthy body to socialize which again I think is generally a bad idea as it is the times we are in poor health that we need friends the most.
Reclusive house all day long.
Guaranteed peace and quiet whenever you want it.
No risk of lame neighbors right on top of each other.
Lower mortgage payments to free up cash for other activities.
Likely no HOAs and laxer building regulations to improve upon your property.
Worried about loneliness? Get a pet or two, or plant a garden.Years ago I moved up to the mountains from suburbia, and I will never go back.
A few years ago I moved from the mountains to the suburbs and I hate it and can't wait to get back.
I miss the stars...
Honestly my favorite part is the sheer volume of people, or lack thereof. The town I live in is small enough that we have a great community up here, and rude punks don't last too long. People wave at each other as they're going about their day, and it's quite pleasant. It's a ski town, so we get the influx of knuckleheads in winter and summer, but fall and spring are the best.
What's the internet like in the recluse one , that part is really important to me .
Even if it's shit, there are options for internet so long as the sky is accessible.
Choose the recluse house! I bought a cheap house with neighbours and now the recluse houses are expensive. I made the bad choice.
Buy the cheap house away from people, only use short sentences when talking to people when you have to venture into town, make and sell hand crafted wood statues of what you see out your window, build an underground bunker full of state of the art spy technology to monitor the town you live in, create a secret Cabal of other people monitoring their towns, slowly take over your country by blackmailing everyone you can, make it a federal crime to even look at your property, retire and enjoy the privacy.
I did this and I recommend it
You guys can afford houses?
"Hell is other people" - Jean-Paul Sartre
"Hell is other robots" - Futurama
You can buy a house? Damn
A more expensive house even. Not so humble brag!
BTW OP understand it's a tough decision but this is one of those questions social media is just shit for answers. Far too personal. Only advice is if cost of expensive house is anywhere near being a stressor, get away, becoming house poor is a total bitch and is a far greater hit than the benefit of having a dining room, or a finished basement, or running water or whatever.
Buy a cheap house and enjoy having money. In a few years your mortgage will be less than rent for a flat.
Spent less on my mortgage than I was paying for rent and that was years ago. Housing is fucked.
This is the way.
Cheap house but get a subscription to a gym/sport activity with the money you saved so you have social interactions?
You might be on to something...
Take the money you saved and remodel the recluse house exactly how you want. Maybe it's different there but neighbors that socialize and befriend each other have gotten pretty rare.
Recluse houses are better for debaucherous parties of all types anyway. You're more likely to get away with a little side hustle of manufacturing drugs too, which you could then invest back into the house, and parties.
Recluse houses are better for debaucherous parties of all types anyway.
All houses are great for debaucherous parties of all types! Your neighbours may not agree but they need to loosen up, maybe join one of those debaucherous parties for once
I live in town and occasionally throw debaucherous parties from time to time. The neighbors are always first on the invite list as they shan't be complaining about the noise if they are participating in creating it.
It was fine meme until the "buy house" part.
Ikr? Must be nice to be rich.
Do not buy a recluse house unless you love spiders.
I have some in my basement. Not a big deal. They just want to be left alone.
What about a regular house out in the sticks?
Reclusive houses may or may not be recluse houses, you have to check.
OP is in Denmark, so no recluse spiders there lol.
Recluse house all the way, one can always invite visitors/neighbours/friends etc, one cannot easily do the opposite when you're "too" close together.
Also, cheaper, means more money for banging parties.
banging parties
GIGGITY
I've had neighbors for 28 years and they've never been a significant portion of my problems. Largely nice, mostly indifferent, sometimes annoying
Being close to things, short commutes, no driving and not being lonely though?
Remove any of those and I'm instantly worse off
How much do you value access to restaurants, lots of stores, and the sort of activities that are usually found closer to cities (like museums and concerts)? For some, the answer is not much, so buying a house away from those things is great. Other people would be miserable.
You can always drive to those things in the same way you can always drive to the middle of the forest.
Personally I like waking up and going out on my porch to see squirrels, and wood peckers, bunny rabbits, and occasional deer in peace.
Can't get that in the city. I gotta drive to the museum, or the restaurant anyways. Can't afford to wake up in either.
I mean, you can, but most people who prioritize those things aren't going to want to make a multiple hour drive to get there. It sounds like they're not your priority in the way I meant if nature is the more important thing. For me, I enjoy nature, but it's more important that I can get the groceries I want (which are very hard to find outside of bigger cities), or go to the zoo for a couple of hours without having to plan it a week in advance.
Personally, I had this same decision a few years back. My choices were to buy a really nice house in town close to things with a small city lot, or buy a run-down fixer upper outside of town (20-30 minute drive) with a large wooded lot and all the space/privacy I could ever want outdoors. I chose the house in town because I was concerned that if I lived that far away from things, I would effectively be isolating myself and adding additional mental hurtles I would need to jump anytime I wanted to go somewhere, not to mention the effect it would have had on my depression.
I am quite pleased with having a grocery store within a 5-10 minute drive from my house. I have restaurants, bars, local shops, and even the public library within a 10-15 minute walk from my house. Having access to high-speed internet in town, vs satellite, or DSL out of town was also a deciding factor in my decision to live in town. Overall, I'm happy with my decision even if I don't have a large private yard to go play in.
My advice to you is to make a list of services, amenities, and conveniences that are important to you about your future home and then buy according to which better fits into the lifestyle you want to live. Best of luck.
A cheap house away from people? The horror
Buy a condo in a concrete building.
- quiet as fuck if you also get triple-pane windows
- neighbors are a rare part of your day if at all
- in the right area, no cars to drive, park, or recover from impound (you need a city with a subway though or forget about it)
- things will be nearby
- the rooftop is nice
- no lawn to mow
- no roof to repair yourself
- usually decent Internet options
- with some forethought, a high vantage and a good view.
We're stoked but I hope yours works out also.
No garden to tend, no garage for workshop. Big no for me.
The hobbies I love most require space but I'll never be able to afford a house anyway so... Shrug
If it were me, I would choose the recluse house. No questions asked.
Get the nice house. You might not like the neighbors but you can hide from them in a nice house.
Wait, if you get the recluse house, you won't have neighbors, and you could always update the house slowly until it's nice.
Wait, over time, others will probably move next to you and it will no longer be a recluse house, so you'll be stuck with neighbors AND a less nice house.
Wait, they say fences make good neighbors so, if you get the nice house and then put up a fence....
Is this helping?
Having lived in both, I'd recommend the latter.
You guys can choose where you live?
Get the cheap house then go out and do things experiences are worth their weight in gold. Plus if the other large house is in the burbs as many expensive ones are it will be hard to walk anywhere anyway so just invite people over and when you pay it off you can make it a cheap air bnb if you want.
of course it's cheap, it's filled with spiders. I'm willing to pay a premium and deal with neighbors to avoid my flesh being necrotized
The thing I like the most about my neighbors is that they leave me the fuck alone. I got lucky.
Considering how much turnover there has been in the area, I expect a few people who bought at less than 200k in the area are going to be looking to sell, and the landlord's who are going to be buying property are going to rent it out to some crackheads, I'm sure of it... When they do, that bliss I have of being left the hell alone will go right out the damn window.
If I had the choice, of this place, or another just like it, but away from any neighbors, I would have pushed to be away from neighbors.
Anyone who I want around, can drive here. Everyone else can go away.
All depends on your personality and possible HOA's in a more populated area.
Personally, I don't have a problem being separated from people, and you don't have to be lonely just because you're away from people - animals can provide you company and keep you busy. I would go with the more recluse location as you can do what you with your property more so than in a neighborhood. Grow a garden, have a bon fire, and just generally have more freedom. Land and houses are generally cheaper a little farther out so that also helps. As long as you have a reliable mode of transportation then living farther away from people is my go to. Also, a plus if you work remote and don't have to commute.
I decided to never own a car again, and that was the tiebreaker.
If you can drive, recluse house all the way. It's my cottagecore fantasy for when I'll finally make it (any day now!)
