Billionaire Says His Long-Delayed ‘Titanic II’ Ship Will Be Antidote to ‘Woke’ Politics

why are people who are into the titanic so fuckin weird

Clive Palmer is an unsubtle book parody of a capitalist from an edgy 80's Hollywood movie about punks trying to save the local skating-rink.

Only he's real.

In a March 13 press conference at the Sydney Opera House to announce his recommitment to reconstructing the doomed ocean liner, Palmer said it would be a beacon of hope amid war in Ukraine and Gaza, bring people together after the era of Covid lockdowns, and embody traditional values as opposed to “woke” politics.

Like that submarine, it will absolutely unite the world in celebration if the Titanic II sinks with its crude Icarus parody at the helm.

Isn't naming a ship after one that sunk... something frowned upon historically and bad luck?

please let the funniest thing happen

Come on orcas, you have the opportunity to both really put a capstone in your latest activities and also do the funniest thing ever.

But will vaccinated people be allowed on the ship?

Yeah, we’ve got to extend our hand in love and friendship for people being vaccinated despite the side effects. We have to look after them. And they’re all good people. We’re all the same really, like white, green, yellow, whatever it is — to embrace each other.

These anti-vax people are really living in their own little worlds, aren’t they? They genuinely believe anyone who got the vax is walking around like a plague rat. And white folks - even those who aren’t billionaires, have the privilege of being able to create their own little insane realities.

This gets to something you said in your recent press conference, which is that the Titanic reflects traditional values instead of “woke” values. So can you explain what that means?

There’s been a concept in society that you can cancel people. I think you know what I mean by “canceled” people, and we think that’s a terrible concept. The United States was founded on the rights of men to be different. The diversity that we’ve had in our economy, in our intellectual development has really meant that’s developed our society to a higher level. I’m talking about Western society in general. So the French Revolution, the American Revolution, all those things were brought about by individuals [claiming] their rights to express an opinion or view. I mean, you should have the right to be wrong.

In case you’re not familiar with coded whitey speak, this all sounds like gibberish because he can’t say the real reason, which is that he just wants to try and go back to a time where non-white people were just barely visible in the background of white peoples lives, and they were never put in a place power or prominence.

I'm gonna sneak onboard this ship with my Italian friend and seduce a rich redhead

Titanic or Woke, which way western man?

lmao author immediately calls a commercial transatlantic passenger liner a “cruise” ship

Anyway there won’t be any icebergs this time around since they all melted, so I guess the major event will be one of the fake smokestacks falling over and killing a dozen people

I see something beautiful coming together here.

Modern cruise liners are already significantly larger than the Titanic to was when it launched.

Why not just buy one from Royal Caribbean or something?

Please Clive, do a research mission to the wreck of the Titanic. Poseidon needs another billionaire sacrifice.

White Gladis take my energy

"You can all make your jokes, but it's perfectly safe now that climate change has melted all the icebergs"

All the obvious stuff aside, who is going to want to pay money to go on a cruise (probably more expensive than Carnival or whatever), but on a smaller ship with 100+ year old design features? Like, the rooms are gonna be small (especially if you’re in the rooms for Irish immigrants or whatever), no tvs in the rooms, no Guy Fieri Donkey Sauce Bistro on the Lido Deck, no DDR machine, like what is there to do? Read? I can do that at home

The greedlords at the bottom of the sea are preparing to devour another sacrifice.

I don’t even need to dunk him.

He’s gonna do it himself.

One of the worst experiences, of course, on the Titanic was delousing. They took the third class up on deck and sprayed them in their underpants and bras. So depending on the weather, we’ll have delousing for our third class, too.

This guy wants to make actual steerage style cabins where rich people can pretend they're dirt poor Irish immigrants.

that has to be the opposite of an "antidote to woke"

someone tell this dude antithesis != antidote

"And the Titanic is an international symbol. It’s a symbol of love and peace, really. I mean, the movie, everyone knows the Jack and Rose story. All of us have a Jack and Rose story of our own."

Did this guy even watch Titanic?

Titantic II: Shitanic

He should take the ship on an authentic route through iceberg infester waters.

What a coincidence! I have an antidote for billionaires that also involves a big ship sinking in the middle of the ocean

every billionaire rides the Titanic 2 to epstein island, it sinks halfway there, no survivors