How many times have you pooped your pants as an adult? What were the situations you were in when that happened?
I always thought that didn't happened, but based on what I've seen on the Internet, it seems like it is possibly more common that I thought.
A couple times over the course of adulthood. All were when I was sick and trusted a fart.
I was sixteen so in a bunch of states that counts as an adult for some situations. We were on a band trip to Disney World to march in the Main Street parade, and we stayed at a very cheap motel that had a very scummy pool. Being an idiot sixteen year old I jumped in.
First mistake.
That night I woke up vomiting, but because my band needed me and I didn't want to miss a free trip to Disney World I toughed it out. I was queasy but okay by the time we got there, and was okay until everybody had to meet up by the Pirates of the Caribbean ride to go "backstage" to get ready.
I was sitting on the wall there, next to my girlfriend, surrounded by classmates, when I trusted a fart.
Second mistake.
I told the band director and waited until everyone went backstage, and then proceeded to DESTROY a staff toilet while listening to two guys put their makeup on and bitch about the other cast members. Then I went back to the motel for a shower.
I ended up marrying that girl, who is now my ex, and who makes my life miserable every time she can.
Third mistake.
I'm sorry you have dealt with such shit.
So you didn't get to march in the parade?
Bitch I'll do it now
I dare you
chairpop!
So I was feeling a bit under the weather and farted while in bed before getting up. It felt a bit wet but I ignored it. Turned out I basically shat myself and only realized after passing an interview that morning.
Nobody noticed or they just didn't mention it, I ended up getting up the job so all ended up alright (except my self esteem)
Taking notes: poop pants in Interview to assert dominance.
Ha, that's actually a hilarious conversation my buddy and I once had. We were talking about aggressively pooping in your pants in an interview while maintaining eye contact to assert dominance. The thought was it would make you appear fractionally taller (spacing you slightly up from the seat), the interviewer would be intimated by your sudden infinitesimal height difference.
I can't imagine spending half a day not realizing that my pants were full of shit.
How did you like, get changed and ready for an interview that sounds like it was in person and not notice? Like didn't your ass get itchy or irritated
It was early in the morning so I basically just put on my pants and went straight there. It was just a bit and all liquid but yeah it got itchy lol. Not my best moment.
Twice, both related to my Crohn's Disease.
The first was in preparation for my first colonoscopy, where I was told that I was only allowed clear broth, clear soda, coffee, and water for 24hr before taking the colon prep solution. I didn't think the diet would give a mile-long headstart before the prep solution, so I enjoyed copius amounts of clear broth and coffee, which ran through me like a river, resulting in the mishap. The bathroom was only 10ft away from me, but it was still too far given the rapid pressure buildup.
The second was during an insurance conflict about my Crohn's Medication, resulting in a flareup and multiple weeks of gut agony and loose stool. It got to the point where no flatulence was trustworthy, and I took a gamble because I was so tired of getting up to run to the restroom every time I felt something bubbling (10+ restroom visits a day, each at the slightest sign of stomach rumbling will do that to a motherfucker).
It is always humiliating, even when I am home alone, and I am hyper concious about the possibility, even when in remission. It fucking bites.
Last time was about two years ago where I was quite sick and had to prioritize throwing up over pooping. The pressure from throwing up did the rest.
the ol double ender
i keep this decorative bucket with a fake flower in it on the back of the toilet, the flower can be easily dumped and the bucket is easy to clean, idk if it's just me, but idk how people survive without an option for both
Pro-tip - sit on the toilet and puke into a trash bucket.
I would call it 1.5 times. In the 90s, I worked for a company that gave out $50 gift cards to a local grocery store for the holidays. I was young and still lived with my parents, so I used it to buy $50 worth of beer and fish (orange roughy). Went over to my friend’s house and we drank copious amounts of beer and consumed way too much beer battered roughy. Was standing outside the next morning having a smoke and trusted a fart. That was the last time I trusted a fart with a hangover.
Next time was about 25 years later, stomach gurgling during the last 20 minutes of a 2 hour commute, and well past the last public restroom. Tried to make it home, farting as I could to release whatever pressure I could. About 5 minutes from home, last fart released about 2 tablespoons of poop into my underpants. I phoned my wife to have the door open and make sure she wasn’t in the nearest bathroom. lol.
Man orange roughy is the best fish, young you had good taste in seafood.
Too bad my beer tastes weren’t as refined yet. Maybe then I wouldn’t have shit my pants! Stupid Miller Genuine Draft. lol
Based on my own research, which should not be considered scientific by any means:
Pants shitting frequency directly correlates to one's personal level of alcoholism.
I had diarrhea on the day of a performance. I had it earlier but it was in such a minor severity that I didn't think it would be an issue, especially if I didn't eat anything for a while. At one point during a quiet part of the performance, one of the vendors was really lowkey pressuring people to buy food, so I gave in and bought chicken bites, with the diarrhea not coming to mind at all. In hindsight, I don't give any compliments to whoever made/stored made them.
Thirty minutes later, when the performance had heated up, I sensed it and had a split second to comprehend what was about to happen next... puh-vloooooomp! At first I was like "oh shit" (no pun intended) and was able to position myself in a way that (to my knowledge) hid my mess, which combined with the heat and the fact I was wearing a skirt made it uncomfortable, but then, after another half an hour, I had forgotten about it and just left it, heading to the bathroom in that time.
I came back to see people distancing themselves because of how ugly it was and how much it smelled since it didn't all travel with me, combined with the fact that the place had been hit with a lot of supposed hooliganism, which triggered a streak of rule strictness. I couldn't get the words "well it wasn't MY shit" completely out (and a part of me felt like correcting my dishonesty there had I said it) when I was told to not return in the future. I spent the night crying because of what I had done.
wowww, that sounds soooo embarrassing 😦
You definitely wouldn't be wrong there. My bad luck knows how to follow me, and people wonder why I'm as reserved as I am.
As an adult, only once ever. Though it's rather difficult to properly call it poop:
Dysentery. Was homeless. Was thirsty. Drank contaminated water. Ended up shitting transparent slime mixed with blood.
I'm sorry friend. I hope things are better for you now.
"Farted" in a Hotel bed, while arriving with a stomach flu. Was a business trip I couldn't get out of.
Was quite embarrassing to try to wash everything in the shower, and left them a note and a tip.
Luckily it seems that deal worked out, as I still had to stay for 2-3 weeks and nobody mentioned anything.
But wasn't fun... Especially while still having a fever and the bowels doing whatever...
I remember getting wicked food poisoning on a work trip, only time I've ever had it and I used to travel a lot. May actually be the worst thing I've ever experienced, I was lucky the toilet was really close to the bathtub else I'd have had to priortise one or the other. The next day I felt dead, do not wish it on anyone.
I've ulcerative colitis so in the last week probably 5-6 as I've had a flare up and was in hospital and couldn't get to the toilet in time. Plus I had frequent diarrhea.
Probably a hundred.
99 of those times was when I had dysentery and had zero control over my bowels and took place over the course of like 3 days. I was literally bedridden and still having to muster the energy to get up every 5-10 minutes to shit.. and sometimes, due to pure exhaustion or surprise, I just didnt act in time.
the other time was when I had an awful stomach flu and was literally forcibly drug out of my house by family who didnt believe I was sick until I shit in their car. Then they lost their minds over that
In that situation I would say they got what they deserved.
I drank too much cold brew and trusted a fart when I shouldn’t have. I was actually on the phone with my dad when it happened, thank god it was at home.
“Hey dad, I’m gonna have to call you back”
lol, not my proudest moment
I once set my kitchen on fire by pouring flammable liquid on the stove burner while answering the phone while my mom was calling. "Hey mom, gonna have to call you back"
Stomach flu
I pooped in my bed in the recovery room after surgery once. Other than that, never.
Did you let your doctor know they forgot to stitch up a hole?
Twice that I recall, both while at least mildly ill. Once, in law school, I was late to class and had an assigned seat in the middle of a row, so I was not keen to draw further attention to myself, but I had a rumbly tummy and the bowel wants what it wants. Eventually, despite what felt to me like truly heroic efforts, I did in fact excuse myself, only to find that floor's bathroom was closed. going down a flight of stairs does things to your regular clenching pressure, and by the time I made it to the toilet, "slug of poo" had made its way into my boxers. Damage to the undies was surprisingly mild, but I went ahead and called it a day for the rest of my classes, as I had skipped many times for far less legitimate reasons.
The other time I was just home with the shits and didn't quite make it once. Afterwards I moved my "I'm sick" nest a lot closer to the bathroom for the rest of the day.
I've done it twice, once was in my mid 20s when I had food poisoning and lying in bed. My boyfriend and I had had a fight during the dinner that gave me the food poisoning and when we were in bed later still a bit mad, I wasn't feeling good but trusted a fart and shat myself. I was pretty embarrassed but he immediately forgot he was mad and took really good care of me while I puked and shat (in the toilet at least) for the rest of the night.
Then I did it again last year in a gas station bathroom. I don't have a great excuse for this one except that we were on a long road trip and I really had to go so I went to a gross gas station washroom but then while I was doing my poo my mom kept knocking at the door panicking cause I guess she really had to pee. I felt like I finished so I wiped up, got up and was washing my hands when I trusted a fart. Thankfully I had a change of clothes in the car or else I would've had to sit in my own shit for the next 3 hours.
I'm suspicious of people who say they've never shat themselves...
Well, in that case, you'd find me quite trustworthy.
Probably twice. Both relating to colonoscopy prepping.
Twice. Once very hungover and once with gastroenteritis. That's less than once a decade, for perspective.
No times. I've always managed to get to a toilet in time, even if it was only moments to spare.
Three times.
Twice from trusting farts. Pretty standard story.
Once because I was sick with food poisoning but had to make a 300 mile drive that day. Couldn't hold the diarrhea in while vomiting on the side of the road. Luckily I had a change of clothes and got home before the second round of duplex emesis hit.
Been an adult for a few decades now. And, never.
A few times. Mostly trusting farts. One time, simply running up the stairs did it.
Might want to see a GI. That's not ok.
or a naturopath (just throwing it out there... I find specialist MDs to be very narrowly focused and often don't look outside their box to find solutions)
Never.
I never get a chance to boast about it, but I can also proudly say that my farts are totally trustworthy, thus far through my life. You all need to hang out with a better class of farts, if you can't trust yours.
While my farts can also be trusted, the few times I doubted them I still went to the toilet just to be sure. It never turned out to be necessary but I'd rather take 20 seconds to go to the toilet and be safe than having to deal with the aftermath of a misjudgement.
Oh mate, I shit myself all the time! Just a little bit, you know?
First week of new job, late 20s. Just started keto and trusted a fart. Managed to cut it off fairly quickly so it was just a small moist spot that I could somewhat mop up, but I had to sit in an orientation for an hour before I could drive off to buy a change of knickers.
Keto farts are risky business.
Never.