why isnt this checkmate?

Where is the chess vision bot? We need one here, otherwise there is no way to know

This is what chess is like in my dreams

those intercontinental ballistic missiles are a bitch.

A fucking knook

White rook in top right, takes black rook in top left. No checkmate.

Take one of the bishops from a light square and shuffleboard bounce it back and forth across the board until it knocks the black king out of place. Hopefully your board's friction is low enough to be able to pull this advanced technique off. It's not guaranteed which is why it's not mate

The board actually represents a circular plane.

Rxa8