Lauren Boebert’s son arrested, faces 22 charges

Nut doesn't fall far from the tree. I wonder how she's gonna spin this one. Poor bastard. Can you imagine having that as your mother?

Yeah, the nut usually falls somewhere on her dress in a dark theater.
- Ewwwwwpvote
Maybe he should use that. "Your honor, in my defense, my mom is Lauren Bobert..."
- Acquitted of all charges! Actually, here are 50 free counseling sessions.
He’ll be exposing himself to minors in no time, just like his Papa

Ok, so if I am reading this rap sheet right... he was breaking into cars, stealing drivers licenses and car insurance/registration/loan documentation and also impersonating people based on the documentation he did have to get the documentation he did not have to basically try to illegally sell the cars eventually, or possibly arrange an illegitimate title transfer to himself, and also doing all this with a bunch of his not yet adult friends.

What an idiot.

It almost seems like it's a pretty big operation and we're not really getting the full scope of how much he was actually able to steal, and this is just what they were actually able to pin on him.
- Sounds like par for the course as a failson of a US Senator. Maybe he'll eventually be a board member of a Ukranian Energy Company.

So much here.

They live in a town called Rifle and he was arrested in a town called Silt. I'm losing the will to live just reading those names.

Meanwhile the victims range in age from a toddler to a senior citizen. And the kids he was arrested with are all younger so he's some kind of ring leader. This is not going to end well for him. Or his kid. Yes, Boebert referred to him as "an adult and father".

Sigh.

What's wrong with Silt?
- It's just not very inspiring. Makes me think of dried up river beds. There's a lot of things you can name a town. Silt and Rifle do not lead me to believe there's a lot of intellectual stimulation. More desperately trying to scrape a living out of scrub brush and rocks. Maybe it's really nice. What do I know.
  silt noun
  fine sand, clay, or other material carried by running water and deposited as a sediment, especially in a channel or harbour
  verb
  become filled or blocked with silt
  Example: the river's mouth had silted up
- "Silt" sounds like the name of a settlement I'd set a post-apoc action-adventure novella in.

Six victims are listed in the summary, with ages ranging from a three-year-old toddler to a 64-year-old.

I'd really love to know what he took from the toddler tbh.

Candy: stolen

That mugshot looks like he's got a future as the subject of a true crime podcast

He's 18. A lot of people look pretty awkward during highschool.
- No. I don't think thats it. He looks like the kind of highschool father whos gonna end up on the news

Ooh! Ooh! Check his laptop!

Start a House investigation committee! Did he get secret money from China or Russia?
- Well if he did, or if he were on the board of a ukrainian energy company, that would be important information. But as it stands, he is just your run of the mill fuckup with a senator as a parent.

The Boebert Crime Family

Everything about this mugshot screams 1983.

Rifle, CO, population 10k. The police department's camera is probably from 1983.

She's such a perfect representation of Colorado right-wingers.

So, show us his laptop...

Sch-longing for dirt on the Beoberts?

Isn't he the one who is already a father? Imagine being his kid.

Well you have to remember who his mother and father are. He probably had a shitty life.

"Criminal possession of a financial device" - does this mean like a credit card? Not sure what that means

as far as i can tell that means something like being in possession of someone else's credit card or debit card or the like with intent to use it

I mean, what else would you do when you found out your mom was doing over-the-pants stuff at Beetlejuice and people were calling that a handjob???????

Nick Mullen