I think the hard-distinction that trans people have as putting themselves in little boxes like 'feminine' and 'masculine' are kind of harming the whole idea.
Having tea parties isn't girly. Playing with dolls isn't girly. Wearing pants isn't masculine. Playing in the dirt as a kid isn't masculine. They're just kid things. There's too much emphasis on what's boy or girl like, and people are convinced they're "a girl" because...they like pink? They like tea parties? They like the clothes that girls wear? You can still be a guy and like those things, those aren't "girl things", they're just things. I hate this idea that everything has to fall into one of those two categories, and if you like something from the 'other side' you're trans.
It's perfectly acceptable to like/do things that the other sex does, without BEING that sex.
Yes. This is just gender stereotypes. Let's abolish gender stereotypes instead. You do you, fam.
Yup. When I was a teen I had a lot of dark coloured clothing, I wasn't a goth but my family thought I preferred dark clothes. I actually prefer bright colours, whether it's pink, yellow or baby blues. The older I get the less of a shit I give with expectations of gender stereotypes. I'm 27 and had my hair dyed bright blue a couple years ago and I got comments from middle aged men telling me that there was something wrong with that. I still get comments from the guy who lives across the road too.
I'm a Cis, straight man. Know what my favourite colour was growing up? Magenta
Objectively the most lit color in the CMYK color process.
Do you like reading books?
Colour me shocked.
Yes it's fine to do gender non conforming things, for both cis and trans people.
But being trans is not simply a presentation preference.
I'm all set up for the down votes, but in my experience as a non-trans individual, there are two common components to being trans. There is the masculine/feminine side of things, aka gender, which I find to be incredibly stupid because it's a cultural construct that is largely self imposed in the adult world as long as you don't have hair thick skin. I really want to do away with gender and gender roles entirely so no one is in a box and everyone can do what they want regardless of what they identify as.
Then there is the body dysmophia side of things, where you physically do not feel comfortable with the way your body presents. This I totally understand, despite not suffering from it, and is imo the only legit reason to transition.
If anyone wants to teach me anything about this, feel free to leave a civil comment and we can have a discussion.
I (cis male) used to have tea parties with my dog all the time. Had a little set specifically for it. Stop forcing fun childhood activities into rigid gender groups.
Disgusting! You should be ashamed of yourself!
Giving a dog tea like that. It's bad for dogs!
That's not a sign of being Trans, that's a sign of liking tea parties. Fucks sake. Quit shoving activities into gender roles.
Agree, that’s why OPs pov really tracked with me.
Having a tea party isn't girly, though. Let kids play how they want.
My daughter has a room decked out in pink, loves Hello Kitty and collects Raggedy Ann dolls. She also loves The Ramones and The Dead Kennedys and wears a leather biker jacket and spiked collars. And I love it all.
Fuck societal norms. Being who you are and doing what you want because you enjoy it is awesome.
and wears a leather biker jacket and spiked collars.
Sunset Shimmer cosplay?
Nope, just a punk.
Ok, my youngest identifies as a trans boy and honestly I was so very surprised when he told me, because my concept of womanhood is so broad that it didn't cross my mind that anything they were doing was boyish. I just thought he identified as a 40 year old lesbian with dumpy style. I still can't quite see it, just a beautiful androgynous person with bad taste in clothing, and reasonably good taste in girlfriends.
Hey, you acknowledge him, and that's what matters. Good parent ❤️
and reasonably good taste in girlfriends.
maybe they just where tired of being taxed by the british without any representation in the british parliament?
Yeah, I always found it interesting that society is in general headed for sex-(and IMHO also gender-)correlated roles ceasing to exist, and trans folks absolutely push that forward by unearthing the idea that gender or identity should have anything to do with what's in your pants, yet they also are often some of the biggest perpetrators of gendered identities.
Like, when a trans lady finds her identity and has come out, they often really enjoy the lady identity, so it'll be skirts and pink and all that jazz.I guess, maybe it shouldn't matter. Maybe those aren't necessarily gendered identities, but at some point just an identity, which you can find neat. Like, we're giving up the male vs. female categories, but more in the sense that we're opening up the whole rainbow, and if your identity is hot pink, that might look like the traditionally female identity, but this time around, it rather just happens to be your identity.
Will still be interesting to see, if maybe some hot pink trans ladies will one day decide that actually this new purplish-green identity is my jam, whenever we work out what that looks like.
Did you know that a lot of ex-jahovas witnesses will go over the top to celebrate holidays? Most of them will even have one holiday they will pick as a favorite, and just go ALL OUT on that holiday. Holidays are considered a sin in JW society, and celebrating one is a good way to get shunned.
The same applies to trans people. If you've spent your whole life identifying with a certain thing, but been denied that thing because of some arbitrary reason, you'll almost reflexively 'overindulge' when you're able to finally just enjoy what you like.
It's a bit of a chicken and egg situation. If society just never cared, and let boys enjoy 'girly' things and vice versa, the situation would almost certainly be completely different. For one, they may never develop any kind of dysmorphia to begin with, but even if they do, they haven't been denied the things they want, so there's not the overcorrecting we sometimes see now.
A met someone the other day who's son was rocking some pink sparkly light up shoes. Let's go!!
I love that gendered toy sections in stores are totally gone. There are just categories now. There's still usually a Barbie aisle because there's a million barbies and an action figure aisle because there's ten times as many action figures, but they're not separated into girl's toys and boy's toys like they were when I was a kid in the 80s. There was a boy in my elementary school who had a Cabbage Patch Kid and got made fun of for playing with a girls' toy. I hope getting rid of those barriers in stores has helped that sort of thing. My daughter didn't really seem to get the concept of 'this was a toy boys played with' and 'this was a toy girls played with' until she started enjoying going to antique malls.
yet they also are often some of the biggest perpetrators of gendered identities.
You're reading too much into it. Society says that tea parties are feminine. Whether that's inherent to gender, or entirely a social imposition doesn't really matter. Trans people are NOT saying that if you like tea parties then you're a girl. But if you like tea parties, wished you could wear dresses, wanted sleepovers with the other girls instead of the boys, then that doesn't necessarily mean you're trans, but it might be something to consider.
Think about it this way. Trans people were denied the opportunity to participate in these stereotypically feminine things without feeling weird. And I don't mean weird because people tell you it's wrong to like that stuff. That's definitely part of it. But it also just feels like you're an alien. You may be participating in tea parties, and wearing dresses, etc. But even if that was totally normal, it would still feel wrong to be doing that as a boy.
I don't know if any of that made sense. But I think you see trans people wanting to be able to experience stereotypical femininity and misinterpret that as a desire to impose those stereotypes on others
I think if someone defines certain items or activities as celebrating their gender, whatever those items or activities are, I think it’s fine! I don’t think Trans folk are doing any harm by gendering things, it’s an expression of them and their gender identity.
We don’t need to tells boys not to have tea parties because it’s girly, but if a boy or girl decides that their tea party is boyish or girly, then good for them.
I always found it interesting that society is in general headed for sex-(and IMHO also gender-)correlated roles ceasing to exist,
In certain society most sex-correlated roles were sent to GULAG
I know I'm an extreme outlier here, but I've always kind of thought that assigned gender roles were dumb, that liking pink, tea parties, skirts, etc was never indicative of being trans or anything else. So I don't even think those are early signs of being trans. Because none of that shit matters. Everybody is just a person and the shape of their genitals doesn't impact their social or cultural behavior in any way other than how their parents force them to act.
Straight cis dude here. Nana brought out the special cookies and some bitchin dress up clothes (including a top hat). Tea parties rock no matter what your orientation.
Also straight and cis. I loved playing dress-up as a kid. And playing house.
And I wore dresses because I wanted to look fabulous. Who doesn't want to look fabulous?
Why can't a straight cis male wear a breezy skirt? Why can't a cis female wear cargo shorts and have hairy legs?
It's not just gender roles, we have boxes to put people in for every way they might choose to identify. It's getting time to break away from all of that.
People need to stop worrying about what others do with their genitals or even what those genitals are. Doesn't matter for anything until you want to get into a relationship.
The dichotomy of cultural gender roles vs biological identity is one of the reasons that this shit is so complicated that we shouldn't even try to regulate it unless clear harm is being done to people.
Tldr: shut up and legalize it, ya vulture suit asses.
The tweets give off the same energy as people who do something mundane like drink a coffee and by not getting a flamboyant one question their sexuality. But that one is always played off as a joke.
We can't look for signs or we will start applying them to people. If my son enjoys female-associated hobbies, that shouldn't be an indicator of a anything other than I should nurture it.
Why can't a cis female wear cargo shorts
I personally know one who does
Tea parties are awesome.
I remember one time, there were these sweet cookies made out of fat and flour and I ate a lot of them. Two hours later I vomited like crazy because of the fat.
Another time, instead of tea and those cookies, it was milk and jam. Same thing really, different flavours. Also the vomit was more pleasant to look at.
There wasn't an another time after that. I still wonder why sometimes...Permanently Deleted
No there isn't. Anybody that young receiving hormonal treatments are recieving purbety blockers, which is a very legitimate medical use (for both cis and trans children) as early onset of puberty can have detrimental health effects. You would not receive hormones until you are mid-to-late teens, and have been undergoing other gender-confirming care up to that point. It takes a long time to get hormones.
If this was an American doctor, and you would like to make an accusation about a doctor that definitely didn't happen, you can absolutely report them to their state's medical board, but making fake accusations will get you sued, so have fun.
I have yet to meet a trans person who didn't realize something was wrong when it came to being treated like their biological gender starting when they were very young. It goes way beyond 'you're a boy who likes pretty dolls.' It's more along the lines of insisting to your parents that you're a girl until they browbeat (or just beat) you into no longer making that insistence. Thankfully, that is happening far less often now.
Tea parties are fucking awesome
I'm a cishet man and rocked my sister's tea party set as a kid. Tea parties are awesome.
20% cooler
I totally get that. My childhood sign was thinking that my genitals were definitely of the wrong sort and there’s no cisgender explanation for that
In retrospect I generally see my childhood experience as far more similar to that of a tomboy. My problem was my body, not gender stereotypes
Based Kanamori profile pic
I read this in the voice I use in my head for Lift.
Anyone other cosmere fans feel the same?
