Stay safe down under

The second you hit pose #3 you’re getting your guts kicked out of your asshole by the roo’s legs. This guide is absolute rubbish, complete malarkey, total squirrel’s piss.

If you are lucky he kicks your guts out of your asshole. More likely the roo will probably just rake his legs down your torso and straight up disembowels you from the front while holding you in position. Agree this guide is complete squirrels piss.
- "... so it will tap out very quickly"
  
  I think this guide is just meant for fun
Instantly started reading this in an Australian accent
Are you writing this from a hospital bed?

Yeah look at those tiny arms
- Holy shit... but that's like the Eddie Hall of kangaroos, right....?
Why are they so large
- Because they're utilizing vegan gains.

Roo will launch off its back tail in panel 1 and then tear your guts to fucken shreds.

Good luck cunt.

QI said the tail is loaded with muscle and is strong enough that it actually counts as a limb.

So yeah. You’re fucked.
- Gdamn. Imagine having another leg that can throw your whole body right behind you
back tail

Yeah but how do you get around it's front tail?

I'm not saying somebody should do this, but if they do they better film it.

Here you go: https://youtu.be/FIRT7lf8byw

Disclaimer: That guy was lucky. Don't try this.
- That's a pretty small kangaroo too right? I am not very familiar with kangaroos but I always imagined them to be a bit bigger than that one.
- The background behind this is very interesting.
  
  So if you don’t know, Kangaroos are pretty aggressive, but they aren’t total idiots. They will start an encounter by punching or slapping their opponent to size them up. If the strength of the other Roo’s punch is too hard on them, they will rightfully imagine that their kicks will be much more devastating by comparison. In this instance, the Kangaroo with the weaker punch will likely be intimidating into retreating. If neither of them feel that the punches were strong enough, the kicking will commence.
  
  However, Kangaroos are not particularly suited for punching. Sure, they can, but their body shape isn’t ideal for it, hence the massive legs. Humans, however, are very well suited for punching, and if you’re in decent shape, your punch will undoubtedly be stronger than most any Roo you’ll come across.
  
  For this video, that punch made the Kangaroo realize something: “Dear god, if his punch was that strong, what the hell is his kick like?!” In reality, if you kick a Kangaroo, you will be showing your weakness, and the game is up. But the Roos don’t know that. As long as you can play their intimidation game, you should be alright, but don’t push your luck.
  
  It’s a bold move to be sure, but it paid off in this instance.
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/FIRT7lf8byw
  
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  
  I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.
- I've seen that roo in ever dive bar I've ever been to.
- I'd say who was even more lucky is the dog. It looks like the roo actually punched him with his hind legs, while keeping him in a stranglehold. In reality, he shouldn't have survived this, should he?
- it's funny but the vídeo was proven fake :/

I meet kangaroos a lot on daily basis. One of my dogs was obsessed with chasing them (he still loves to but I have more control over him now). A few times he cornered a roo and I had no chance of calling him off or catching him to drag him away. Some of these guys were over 2 metres tall. Roos are cut AF and their claws are as large as carnivore claws. Trust me, you don't want a roo to touch you. Anyway, a stick to keep them at sufficient distance to be able to retrieve my dog was all I ever needed, but to be safe I started carrying a knife too; roo meat is very tasty.