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Best all purpose, unrestricted AI?

I play with Bard, Bing, OpenAI, and I get annoyed when it tells me it can't do something.

Believe it or not I don't care about porn or lewd stuff, I just want to be absurd and sometimes that goes weird places and gets filtered.

So what should I try? I want ease of use and am willing to pay for it. Ideally it has an offline mode and does not store user data.

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