You end up homeless. You have no family, friends, job, in demand job skills, money, credit cards, or car. What would you do to get out of that situation?

I've been here before and while I don't wanna take the time to write an entire guide, the short of it is you need to fucking hustle and start now.

As of now you are a goddamn sales agent. Your product is yourself. Always Be Closing and No Means Next are your new mantras. Don't be afraid to stretch the truth if it means you live another day. Your life is about to be very different and difficult. You are now a pariah. People will not see you as a human being. Get used to that fast and this'll be easier.

You need to find a place to sleep and get food, that's paramount. You need to find a way to keep groomed and clean, people are fucking assholes to dirty humans. You need to find a way to clean your clothes, too, because people view you as subhuman if you can't wash your clothes once a week.

Go to a church. Make up a slightly more tragic back story. Get good at this. People are gonna wanna hear your tale and its gotta mostly conform with their preconceived notions about you but should defy them only in one part or another. They're gonna be demeaning as shit to you while pretending to be nice, be ready for that and play into it. They love that shit. Be ready to switch churches once the congregation gets bored of helping you, which they will. Christian denominations will probably give you the most in the onset, but also they actually give the fewest shits. Mosques and Hindu temples will give you the best foods, but YMMV on how much assistance they'll provide.

If you can meet and talk with a Rabbi, this is the best option. No one helped me more directly and honestly than the Rabbim I met on this journey. Everyone else gave what they thought was the Platonic ideal of aid. The Rabbi would listen and try to help like a real friend.

Keep clean. It's so important for getting a job and recognized as human in society, it's so wildly important.

You wanna find suits and "nicer" clothes at thrift stores. Don't worry if they fit poorly, a shitty suit and tie makes you more human in the eyes of society than a ratty t shirt.

Apply to min wage jobs like mad. You can use the church as an address. That'll mostly fly, but also when you tell the pastor you almost had a job but they needed a physical address, they'll more than likely tell you to use theirs. Look for places that'll pay in cash, i.e. aren't big brand businesses. Retail is mostly big corporations now, don't discount them entirely, but focus on small business shops like pizzerias or delis. Someplace that isn't gonna have some binder of SOPs or corporate oversight. Food places are great because they usually have left over shit you can ask to take home. Anything going into the trash, that can be yours.

Once you get a lil bit of money, hoard it. Don't let anyone know you got cash. You want a car or some other way to travel longer distances so in case things go tits up, you can bail. A $10 a month gym membership gives you a shower and place to shave. Burner phones let you keep in touch and network when you can't use the computers at the library. Dunno if it still works, but I got a lil cash going doing retail arbitrage via Craigslist and Facebook. Do all your exchanges at a police station. Unless you "look homeless", then the pigs will harass you. Do it at a Walmart lot with lots of cameras during the day. Don't get into the drug trade unless you know what you're doing, you'll get hurt and bad.

Speaking of substances, don't turn to drugs. They're too expensive to really help anything. Booze, though, can be useful in small amounts. It's extremely calorie dense, and a buzz is nice, but 1) you're gonna need your wits at all fucking times, 2) no one respects an unhoused drunk

Shoplifting is easy. But don't do it as your main way to acquire things, do it while buying other stuff to stretch your dollar. Your legitimate purchase is your ticket into the store. Be smart. Look for cameras and employee eyes. Take small things to practice.

High calorie food sources are great when you can't get much food. So is stuff you can keep in your mouth a long time, helps keep hunger away. Chew jerky was a personal favorite. Bags of nuts are good, too, but be wicked mindful of salt intake and make sure to drink lots of water. Many libraries and parks will have water fountains of some kind.

Convenience store hot dogs are great. They're cheap and you can abuse the toppings for extra food. Do this when they're busy so they don't see you loading the box with relish and tomatoes. You can also buy chips and pour the pump chili and cheese over em if no one is watching you.

Come up with stories to tell pigs as to why you're sleeping outside (got kicked outta home if you're young, spouce kicked me out if you're older, etc). If you get caught, don't sleep there again for a few weeks. Especially if you're sleeping in your car, the pigs will take it from you, they are monsters, never ever trust them.

i dunno, the premise of this question seems to me like homelessness is a riddle that homeless people just have not figured out. im pretty sure that if the answer could be crowdsourced in eight hours from eighty sysadmins on the toilet, it wouldn't be such an intractable problem

First I would start spiraling deep into depression and lose all hope. This would only be reinforced by the realization that very few programs exist to help with this situation and even fewer that are properly funded enough to be able to help. The slope would only get more steep as you get more and more entrenched into being homeless, not that you want to, and realize that people in general don't really care either. You'll start to stop thinking of yourself as a person or an individual and just as a problem that gets in everyones way. No one else will look you in the eye so why should you look yourself in the eye? You give up asking for help eventually. After being rejected at every other program and being outright ignored, stepped over, or given sandwiches made of dogshit you will just sort of collapse. Drug use will seem more and more appealing because you've lost everything, there's nothing left to lose now right? You'll slip and slide further and further until hope is a distant dream that you're pretty sure was invented, not one you had yourself. Eventually you'll end up in a position where the weather outside is too extreme and it'll force you into a homeless shelter. You haven't stayed here in years, not since you last had your wallet and shoes stolen from you while you slept, but it's either die or this. So you go inside and you're lucky enough to meet a cute staff worker who actually looks at you and treats you like a person and actually looks you in the eye. First time you've really felt like a person in years. He offers a sandwich and something to drink and you have a breakdown. First time you've felt like a person in a very long time. He gets it. Not the first time he's seen it. So you go back every now and again hoping to see him but you run into some other staff. A lot are horrific people who are miserable pieces of shit who genuinely don't deserve to even breathe but a lot of other people are the kindest souls on the planet. People who are trying to help. So you ask for help. For the first time in years. Yet while everyone else ignored you, these people smile and are happy because they've been waiting for you to ask. And they help. They know about the programs that are barely funded and barely known about. They hook you up with a doctor who is able to finally diagnose what the hell is wrong with your head (To no ones surprise after years of trauma from homelessness, and even more from your own life, you have CPTSD) and start getting assistance. They know of another program to help subsidize your rent costs to get you out of homelessness and within 6 months you're moving into your own place and looking back at these staff astounded and amazed that they helped you. They're treated like trash, screamed at, paid fuck all, told to go to hell, and actively attacked but they still push and help when no one else will.

Source: Experience.

If you live in a blue state, then you get in touch with the housing first types who will get you into a small home and off the street. Then you rebuild your life.

If you live in a red state, you hitchhike to a blue state and do the first step.

I would go the Social Services office and explain my situation. Provided I could prove my identity I would walk out with a couple hundred dollars cash, an address for decent temporary accommodations, and an appointment with a case worker to find a more permanent solution for me.

That's the security of the Nordic welfare state.

I did this pretty much, except I did have a car and family, but I was stubborn and refused help from my family, so really just the car.

Get to a bigger midwest/ rust belt city (Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, St Louis, Cleveland) cost of living is low which is good for you, and in my experience not many people are moving there so tons of people are hiring at jobs with no requirements (I got a job in like 2 days). Try and get two jobs close to each other, probably downtown. You'll save up money way quicker and have less time to deal with living on the streets.

Find a public park, preferably one with those grills and a water fountain. You can cook food over a fire on thee grill, simple things like oatmeal or ramen. The one I stayed in had bathrooms that were open during the day (at night I just did my business in the woods, used a bag for number 2). It also had an old public building that was closed down but I could climb on top and sleep under the eaves out of sight and the weather. I kept my stuff in my car but I could have kept it there.

For electricity charge you're stuff at work, and get a backup battery, they're only like 30 bucks and it's super important. Libraries are a godsend for a million things, electricity and bathrooms chief among them. After 3 months you should be able to save enough for a shitty apartment and have the job history. Lie if you need to, they won't check more than your current job 9/10 times.

Go to the library and look up government assistance programs. There are usually some programs to help you, even if you have to jump through miles of hoops.

I was there last year. I sat in the men's shelter and job hunted. Then I ran my money out at hotels before moving in with a friend from the men's shelter.

A lot of those other dudes at the men's shelter who literally couldn't do a job were basically fucked though. It's depressing that I can't do anything for them and they're all on timers before they gotta face the weather and evil police.

It's sad how easy it is to tell who's from the US and EU here.

Basically "you're fucked, be a criminal or die" versus, "go to the Social Services and tell them you're homeless"

Very important post. We need solutions, not judgements or moralistic catchphrases that are impossible (bootstraps)

If you're in the US, you're screwed. If you're in Europe, you can go to the social services office and they'll set you up in an apartment and get you on a path to a job or education.

I'm a woman so I would become a temp prostitute. I would avoid hard drugs. Bank roll and buy a van. Live in van. Great success.

did I forget my current skills or they are just not in demand anymore? have govenment programs improved? hows my health?

I am barely holding it together in my nice, comfy life. In that scenario the first thing I would do is look for a nice, high building with roof access.

I'd start by checking into a homeless shelter. Then I'd get a job within walking distance. That's the hard part, the walking distance part.

I was in ALMOST this situation in summer of 2022. I was homeless, and stayed in a shelter, and got myself a job. But I wasn't penniless. I had maybe a hundred bucks when I started, meaning I could ride the bus to work.

The lower you go, the harder it gets. So my solution would have been impossible without the bus fare.

The shelter had a very early curfew. 6:30 pm or something like that. It would have been impossible to walk to the job simply based on time -- about two hours' walk to and from which wouldn't leave enough time between wakeup and curfew to get to work, work, and get back.

The lower you go, the harder it gets. That's one of the most useful things to know about life. If you take a break and you slide back, that break just made your life harder. Below a certain threshold, you can't climb back up again.

I got out of homelessness, but I had the benefit of mental health, and of being pretty tough already when I became homeless. I guess toughness is an aspect of mental health, so suffice to say I had the key ingredient to get out of that which was mental health. Well, and a functioning philosophy of life.

Crime. I'd do crime. I'm too old to join the Navy, too poor to get some debt. So I'd do the same thing the overwhelming majority of Americans who find themselves in the situation do: Crime.

Which crime? Well, the likelihood of this actually happening to many people who are currently gainfully employed and financially stable is uncomfortably high, so some cards I just have to keep close, and you should too.

No war but the class war.

Bluntly, I find my current life more than difficult enough with 4/5 of that (I discount the CC and car as not strictly necessary), so I'd start planning my suicide. That's obviously not meant as advice, it's what I would do.

First up, go to one of the available help centers and register for welfare. This will give me a monthly income that's enough to cover most of my daily needs. Housing will be more complicated. The state would cover my rent but I'd first need to find a suitable flat in the first place. If I'm lucky, there is social housing available. If not, I'd have to sleep on the street or in shelters for a while. No idea how I'd handle that. Once I have a roof over my head, I can start looking for a job.

Try to find a job. Like any job. I'll clean or do manual labor, no shame in that. I'd also try and look for government programs for re-education so I can learn whatever skills are in demand and the moment.

Military.

It sucks, but lots of people join because it's literally their last option available.

If you're over 35 you're out of luck tho.

I'm 57 years old with bad knees. I won't make it. First thing I do is go somewhere quiet and kill myself.

Learn to pick locks. Steal food from dumpsters. Get a job with a locksmith. Aquire shelter. Make friends.

Americorps, baby! Get those positions with applied housing. I guess I'd make use of shelters and the local library first.

Sell some plasma, spend the money on Fent and kill myself.

I mean, realistically I probably don't

Probably join the military, get a degree for 4 years of my life and start fresh. Hope there's not a new war in the mean time and if there is, still probably beats being homeless.

Find an abandoned building and make it a home. Steal resources from those that can afford to lose them. Become a professional hobo. Teach others and raise a hobo army called The Hob Nobs. Take over the United Kingdom and rebrand it the United Hob Nobdom. Free healthcare and education for everyone. Eton becomes a school for children with learning disabilities. Prisoners are rehabilitated, royal family and aristocracy are imprisoned. Public policy is based on reasoned argument, scientific principles and evidence based. Drugs are legalised. Conservatism is banned. Money is abandoned. War is illegal. Everyone is happy.

If I were homeless I'd just buy a house, duh

OP's mother already has me on retainer

Find a safe area to find a retail job in and start learning some skills. I spent 24 years in retail, over half in management, and made a good living doing so.

You just have to be:

1. Reliable, I can’t stress this enough. Be there before they ask, take every opportunity they give you to work more hours (assuming you’re hourly). This is the #1 reason people don’t get the opportunity to move up and/or get fired.

2. Willing to cross train in other departments. This is always a good thing.

3. Willing to listen to superiors, take criticism and work on what they’re telling you for your development.

4. Developed. Once in a job, look for leaders to work under to mentor and develop you. This is crucial as you’ll excel faster with good leadership. Even Walmart has good leaders if you know what to look for. Does this person lead a team and support them or are they just a boss that demands things happen with no support?

5. Willing to get out of your comfort zone daily. Being homeless will quicken this skill but it’s still imperative that you don’t hold yourself back in the work world because you’re afraid to fail. I mean, how much worse can it get for you?

Lastly, sorry to hear you or others may be going through something like this. I hope shelter, safety, and support is found quickly.

Assuming that I'm in a position where even fast food chains won't hire me (and believe me, these guys will hire anyone), beg for spare change; get enough to buy packed water and start selling it on public spots. This should get me enough to feed myself and save up a little. Sleep in parks. Use gyms to shower.

After I can reasonably do my hygiene too, try to apply jobs within my local range. Newspaper job listings could also help a lot here. There always exists some need for a job in somewhere after all. I'd be guaranteed a minimum wage (which is not a lot in my country), but definetly would let me afford rent and food. This is a satisfactory end for some people already, but to get bigger you can try to find work in smaller political parties next to get connections (sometimes people that rake in lot of money could have the dumbest political ideas); or save up to get a small motorbike to open up your job opportunities even further.

Overdose and die.

Befriend an idealised version of yourself and start stealing fat from the backyards of clinics that practice liposuction. Then make soap and "other stuff" with the fat while you build a secret society of homeless people and use it to destroy the very infrastructure of world economy and finance.

You should be fine.

I would pick up a trade. You can make decent money as an electrician's apprentice or as a roofer depending on your body weight and strength.

You can also go and join the Ironworkers union.

If trades are not viable for you, I would apply at the cheapest college you can get into that has dorms.

Yeah you're going to be picking up a shit ton of debt but you would have a place to stay and a thing to do to help improve your future and the opportunity to meet new people.

If neither trades nor college or something you can or will do, then I would pick up odd jobs and save up the money to get the cheapest car that you can sleep in and then start figuring out what you can do from there.

I'd find a social worker to lean on for help and a shelter for temporary housing. It's a long road, but that's where I would start my journey. You'd have to baby step it and hope a couple things come together simultaneously.

I mean ... you've taken away my job skills. So crime I guess.

Realistically, if it has gotten to that point it would be for a reason(addiction, mental health, etc). You would have to address that reason. If you can't then there are 3 options:

1. You turn to crime. Go to SF, it's considered a misdemeanor to rob anything lower than $900. This also applies per job so if you hit 2 stores and gather $899 worth of goods in both, the worst case scenario is a few days in jail. It's basically free money. You can keep doing this until laws change.

2. You try to get government assistance in some way. You may need rehabilitation so you would need to probably hurt yourself and go to a hospital. Then after that's sorted, you need to figure out everything on the streets. If that means going to a YMCA, going through whatever process to get medical and food assistance, get temporary housing.. you can basically live rent free as long as you clean up.

3. If 1 and 2 don't work, going to jail might work for you. Go and try to fake a serious crime and get arrested. You can then go to jail and have everything taken care of for you.

If all that doesn't work, you will need to put more thought into it. You could try panhandling, you could try to hitch a train to another area to live.. most likely though you are going to kill yourself.

Rob some shops, learn an instrument I could busk with, suck some dick for tips.

I either kill myself or charm my way to a warm bed and some semblance of stability while I climb up the job skills ladder.

I view the latter option as morally reprehensible, but I guess if I’m honest from the get go, I could justify it.

Find some houses in the suburbs and start mowing lawns.

PC repair. Network admin. Server admin.

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Eat a bullet.

Almost at 69 up🫶otes

Opiates.

Sell a kidney?

Go back to my family and friends.

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